Tag Archives: Owen Wilson

Pynchon With The Show!

Inherent Vice
California Scheming
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 148 min

Inherent Vice

In a haze and in a daze, Paul Thomas Anderson‘s take on Thomas Pynchon‘s Inherent Vice is well worth toking.  Why?

it’s…

(thankfully not the dis-Master)

Lebowski-y, but smarter(!)(?)

lebowski

and says hello to The Long Goodbye

long goodbye

and is as serious (and seriously silly) as Joe Friday’s haircut

LSDeez nutz

A video posted by Thigh Master (@thighmaster) on

and Eli Cash-y

eli cash

and Paul Avery Zodiac-y

paul avery drinky

and Nathan Thurm-y squirmy

and Shasta-y

shasta

and Katherine Waterston continues her ‘brave’ (read – ‘nude’) work in cinema

kat water

waterston vice

and all this equals…

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Vice is nice at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Phappers & Flilosophers

Midnight In Paris
Well-Oiled Chime Machine
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 100 min

We are all in love with the past, and never with the present.  There will always be some point in time and history that we’d rather be at than the here and now, no?  Oh, how super kick-a$$ it musta been to live and be in the American 6os, yes?  Who wouldn’t want to experience Beatlemania and watching a man walk on the moon first hand, maybe???!!!  That’s juss one of our idealized wishful time travel dreams, and for Woody Allen, apparently his is the roaring 20s of Paris, France

In his latest European yarn (ever single one of them, even Scoop, have been quality fare), Woodsie goes there (time and space), and his persona, and our guide, is played by the perfectly nebbish Owen Wilson.  He’s a scriptwriter trying to become a novelist, but he’s got writer’s block, a pushy fiancée (Rachel McAdams, reuniting with her Wedding Crashers pal) and ‘pedantic’ Michael Sheen (looks great with a beard) overbreathing knowledge down his neck.   So what’s the solution to all his modern 21st century problems?  Inspiration from his idols, but not from a distance, but directly from them.  You know, hactual hobnobbing with the likes of Hemingway (Corey Stoll), F Scott (Thor’s devilish bro Tom Hiddleston) & Zelda (Alison Pill) Fitzgearld, Gertrude Stein (Kathy Bates), Luis Buñuel, Man Ray, Salvador Dali (Adrien Brody), Alice B. Toklas, bullfighter Juan Belmonte, Cole Porter, Joséphine Baker, Djuna Barnes, T.S. Eliot, Henri Matisse and MORE!!!!

There’s no science involved in this fiction here, just sum magical jumping back 90 years into the past, without worrying about how that all works, or altering future BS worries, except for Owen’s own love interests (who wouldn’t fall for Marion Cotillard???)!  That’s right, Woody jumps into the time travelling game, and in all honesty, it’s one of the better films of the past couple of decades to do so, but with the help of a 1920 Peugeot Landaulet instead of a DeLorean.  88kmph?

If we could build a time machine and change one thing about this movie, we would somehow give the gifted Gad Elmaleh a little bit more to do.  He’s one funny fellow, and would hactually make a perfect French version of the Woodman.  We smell a Untitled French Woody Allen Film in here somewhere!

Something Is Rotten In Tomatoes: some say Paris is Woody’s best in decades.  those some peoples are entitled to their opinion (and they may not even be wrong), but have these and you people seen Casandra’s Dream, at least more than once????  even our initial review is wrong.  SH$T STILL HAUNTS US JUSS THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!  A-MAZINGGGGGGGGGG!

Verdictgo: enjoyable to the (sor)bon(n)e, so… Breast In Show

Paris je tames audiences currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

The Bruise Y’all Suspects

Little Fockers
RNing On Empty?
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

We didn’t pay to see this and we’re not getting paid to write this, but Fockers 3 was not awful.  Heck, we kinda sorta maybe really did maybe sorta kinda enjoy it.  Really.  Same thing applied with #2, where the jokes were often thin & flat, but we could not help but smile the whole way thru.  Sure, #3 has nothing new to add to the series (bits are recycled, and you can always see the troubles & foibles brewing 5 minutes before they happen) and story-wise, there’s nowhere really to go (eggcept to the bank to cash dem giant paycheck$$$$$), but we juss really like seeing these actors plays these characters, and interact with one another!!  We do!  Maybe you don’t, and if you don’t, then don’t see this, and you probably won’t.  Reel talk!!!

In the beginning, it seems like the Focker twins (chubby darlings Daisy Tahan & Colin Baiocchi) will be the focus, which would only make sense since this adventure is called Little Fockers, but quicker than you can say ‘Jinxy’, their cares & worries (like getting into some nutty school led by a barely used Laura Dern. Harvey Keitel is in this too and is also barely used too) are thrown under a bus so we can focus on what we all (didn’t) paid to see: Ben Stiller earning the approval, losing the approval, earning it again, losing it again and finally cementing the approval of father-in-law Robert De Niro, while his wife Teri Polo (remember her… nekkid?? NSFW) and mother-in-law Blythe Danner stand on the sidelines smiling & shruging.  Did someone hit the repeat button??  At least they had the decency to let Owen Wilson‘s WASPy Lothario get some more screen love in this go around, and limiting Focker parents Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand‘s overly schlocky Jewishnessness

And how about Jessica Alba, as the drug rep out to steal Stiller’s heart away, at such an inopportune time when his whole family is coming together?  Lets juss say that every time she speaks, acting is set back 10 generations, and women may lose their right to vote, and be sent back to the kitchen.  There needs to be a rise in silent movies so she can become a silent film star!!!!!  FOCK HER!!!!

Fonda Got A Motor In Da Back of Her Honda:

meat Olga Fonda

Verdictgo: somehow, some way, at least to us… Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Fockers is edible un-comfort food at a theater near jews today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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