2013 was a pretty weak year for movies, but life outside of the theater trumped life inside of it (I met the love of my life! and it’s a woman!  so I’m not gay!).  anywho, some movies were still better than garbage, and they is…

 

The Thirsteen Thirteen

 

1) Room 237

Shining on some crazy diamonds who put more thought into thinking about the Shining than anyone ever needed.  But once you hear these batshit crazy theories, you cannot unhear these batshit crazy theories, and you may juss go batshit crazy yoself

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2) The Wolf of Wall Street

It’s like Goodfellas and Casino‘s younger, hipper brother

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3) Her

Spike Jonze’ love story digitally penetrates!!

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3) Captain Phillips

Taking hostages on screen AND off!!

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4) All Is Lost

A better silent movie than The Artist

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5) The Great Gatsby

A little party never killed nobody

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6) The Hunt

Mads for Mads Mikkelsen

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7) The Stories We Tell

Do Tell

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8) Salinger

Trashy tabloid junk… that I couldn’t get enough of.  But what about the ‘pee in a jar’ rumors???

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9) My Father and The Man In Black

Cash-ed & carry-on, for the wayward son

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10) Spring Breakers

more of a feeling than a movie, and a dirty one at that, but it inspired us to actually do something with video on the internets!! 

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11) Short Term 12

All Brie, no cheese 

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12) Cutie and The Boxer

Starving for attention artists in residence

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13) Our Nixon

Nixon bindess with pleasure! 

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and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

42
The Armstrong Lie
Bettie Page Reveals All
Blue Caprice
Blue Jasmine
Dallas Buyers Club
Enough Said
Fill The Void
Frances Ha
Mandela Long Walk To Freedom
Nebraska
The Past
(first 1/3 of) Place Beyond The Pines
The Reluctant Fundamentalist
Rush
Saving Mr Banks
The Source Family
The Spectacular Now

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wanna second opinion?  future Mrs Thigh Master weighs in!  

(poor girl saw more movies in a theater this past year than probably ever!!!)

Best Movies 

5. Short Term 12

4. The Wolf of Wall Street

3. Dallas Buyers Club

2. Captain Phillips

1. Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom

Runner up –

‘Best’ [meaning WURST] Movies  

5. Inside Llewyn Davis

4. The Book Thief

3. Don Jon

2. Upstream Color

1. I’m So Excited (Los amantes pasajeros)

Runner up –

The Sapphires

our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the week of the Oscars 

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

Our Nixon
Nixon Business With Pleasure
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
Not Rated | 84 min

watch this clip

what is this??? Richard Nixon spraying nasty personal opinions that the public was never suppose to hear, from his INFAMOUS(ly stupid) secret White House audio tapes, paired with glorious Super 8 footage that was shot by one of his three right-hand men – Nixon Chief of Staff HR ‘Bob’ Haldeman, Chief Domestic Adviser John Ehrlichman and Deputy Assistant Dwight Chapin.  All three would end up being collaterally damaged casualties from the Watergate scandal. Someone had to take the fall, right? From 1969 to 1973 these gents shot over 500 reels of Super 8 footage. Co-directors/producers Penny Lane and Brian L Frye tell the Nixon presidency story thru this footage and his own dumb words. The result is not only an important historical audiovisual record, but a beyond fascinating eye and ear opening paranoid snapshot of such a time and such a place and such a person, which all juss keeps on getting more fascinating as the years pass. Whomever Nixon it is, make sure you make Our Nixon yours, even if it’s just for 84 minutes

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Nixon aired on CNN and opens tomorrow in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…