A Sail of Two Pities / Hard (Mari)Times

All Is Lost
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 106 min

all is lost

Dude, there’s this movie about  as an unamed guy, who’s like sailing in the Indian Ocean or something, by himself, and one day wakes up on his ship, with his cabin flooded, caused by some shipping container ramming into the ship and bustin a hole into it.  Being an awesome old man at sea, the old man goes about trying to fix what he can, and sail on, trying to get somewhere, anywhere, from the middle of nowhere.  Sh!t happens, more sh!t happens, none of it good, and the man does what he can to survive.  This is what ‘s All Is Lost is all is lost about.  This is what Life of Pi should have been, but wasn’t, cause it had a tiger, and lots of CGI colory stuff and things and spirituality and stuff.  Redford speaks maybe a single page of dialog in the entire movie, but he acts by doing, and doings he does OH SO WELLLLL!!!  All Is Lost is a better silent film than The Artist was.  Damn, son.  Makes me wish that Redford acted MORE (at least outside of his own movies).  And continues my wishes of never wanting to go sailing EVER!!!!   If it were a true story, it would probably be better than Captain Phillips, but it’s not true, and Captain Phillips is the movie of the year (thus far), but Lost is not far behind.  It’s like the 2nd best film that isn’t about Native American/Holocaust/fake moon landing conspiracy theories of The Shining!!  Oh man, be a man, and set sail on this MUST SEE SEA ADVENTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Lost is FOUND, currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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