Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Graduating On Time
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG13 | 130 min
before we tackle 7.2, lets look back on what we said about 1 thru 7.1, in which we barely remember a thing about any of them. cause lets be honest, these stories are pretty much one long continuous cliffhanger for one final ‘epic’ showdown (MORE LIKE SLOWDOWN) with Voldemort, or something!!!
Sorcerer’s Stone & Chamber of Secrets – Chris Columbus was king of the poo/boo/snoozefests to the Zth degree
Prisoner of Azkaban – the greatest third movie ever
Goblet of Fire – admirably carries the torch with badder baddies, diggty dragons, tentacled mermaids, tentacled trees, and the seeds of young love
Order of the Phoenix – Yer not going to be amazed, but yer not gonna walk away disappointed neither. I don’t think anyone’s cryin that the quidditch season got canceled this go around
The Half-Blood Prince – Harry Potter’s 6th cinematic adventure feels more like a real movie and less like a, well, Harry Potter movie. Hammazin how a few pubes make everything a lot more interesting
Deathly Hallows: Part 1 – The Deathly Hallows is deathly awesomes!!!!
so what about 7.2?? Feels rushed (all 8 of them did), but that’s better than it feeling slow (none of them were), but STILL, it was a very very very very very very very satisfying ending to set of movies that was always pointing towards a big ending, even if it took forever to get there (in a non-slow way, but 8 movies is a lot of movies!)
but this is the way you go out. no one wants 283838 false endings like in LOTR III or juss being awful in general like Star Wars III, or feeling unmade like Leonard Part III. we want closure and closure is what Potter 7.2 did. CASE CLOSURED!!!!!
Also, it was well shot, with like nice camera angles and lighting and thingies!!!! Yeah David Yates!!!
Also, Voldemort had a cinematic purpose for once!
Also, we love it when Hogwarts gets its a$$ kicked, cause school is boring!!!
Also, the movie was kinda scary (those banking goblins were creep-a-rooni)!!!
Also, Professor McGonagall’s breaking out her wand was ALMOS cooler than when fake digital Yoda broke out his lightsaber (or when Yaddle whipped out her dick)!!
Also, the #1 actor in our hearts (Ciarán Hinds) was in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, there was a WET-ish T-SHIRT CONTEST (too bad Hermione has zero boobs)!!!
And although we’ve poo-pooed on Chris Columbo’s name left and right, for making the first 2 movies berry vanilla, he does get credit for casting Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint, and somehow they magically grew into decent actors, great kids, and our pals 4life!!!!!!
still can’t believe that Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are really twin brothers, Dumbledore is Dudley Dursley’s father, the entire Weasley family dyes their hair, Moaning Myrtle is actually less moany than her mother Moaning Mona, and that Rita Skeeter give sloppy hand jobs!!!! SO MANY REVELATIONS!!!!
Never5get: when ‘they’ made Hermione’s boobs bigger
Verdictgo: Breast In Show
Potter 7.2 is a movie you’ve already seen if you’ve seen Potters 1 – 7.1, so you don’t even need to know where it’s playing
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…