Tag Archives: Casey Affleck

Manchester Divided

Manchester By The Sea
All Pain, No Gain
Official Site| Trailer & Mo
R | 137 min

Manchester By The Sea???

MORE LIKE MANCHESTER BY THE ZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzZZzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

amirite?  I am!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Mansnoozter currently zzzzzzzzzzzzz

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Bale of Hey

Out of the Furnace
Men of Steel Town
Official ‘Website’ | Trailers & Mo
R | 116 min

out of the furnace

There seems to be some kinda minor-renaissance of gritty American shoot-em-up flicks these days.  It’s like the 70s all over again, cept not really.  With the overload of superhero drivel and toy driven babble dominating theaters, this resurgence is a good thing, and change of pace, even if the results have been a little uneven.  Take last year’s Killing Them Softly – a lil flick trying so hard to be mad hard and mad cool (like Mads Mikkelsen), and make a statement or something, but missed the mark, and bored we to tears.  Then there was the The Place Beyond The Pines, which was too much of a good thing, cramming 3 movies into 1, when it probably should have dumped at least one of them, or just been 9 hours of Ryan Gosling riding bikes.  And now comes ‘s Out of The Furnace, which get high marks for acting, attitude, and appearance, but by the time it wraps up, I kinda was like, um, er, uh, that was it?  What exactly was all that for?

But hey, where else are you gonna see  smolder, with beautiful longerish hair, as an older brother’s keeper to misfit troublemaker  (he does his best work when he doesn’t open his mouth), and melt the heart , and go hunting with uncle , and listen to  try to sound like the dude with half a face on Boardwalk Empire, and see who can be more smiley & gruffy & tuffy betweenith  or ??????  WHERE ELSE YOU GONNA SEE THIS???  Even if the hunt and be hunted intensity that fills a majority of the film kinda fizzles out at the end, it’s gritty good enuff for me, and should be gritty good enuff for you too

Lil tidbit – the film takes place in the steel-mill town of Braddock, Pennsylvania, where a 1941 novel of a similar name – Out of This Furnace – also took place.  FURNACE THAT!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Furnace smolders with acting in limited release, and soon at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


Texas Snooze ‘Em

Ain’t Them Bodies Saints
Ain’t Them Saints Snoozy – THEY IS!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo 
Not Rated | 105 min

Ain't Them Bodies Saints

One of my least favorite performances of the past six years was  being the coward in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, a movie that was 17 hours long, and 77 hours boring.  It didn’t help matters that the flick had the pacing of a snail trapped in a sea of molasses, and that Casey Affleck was doing most of the boring cause he is boring.  He played a shy, quiet guy, who, when talked, mumbled in a twang that made us wished that ears AND cinema were never invented, but we didn’t even have to worry or care about such things cause we fells asleep not caring

Well, IF YOU LOVED CASEY AFFLECK’S KENTUCKY FRIED ACCENT IN THE BORING OF JESSE JAMES BY THE BORING COWARD BORING FORD then you might juss dig ‘s beautiful but zzzzzzzz-inducing Ain’t Them Bodies Saints, which is like that movie if it met Badlands and Bonny & Clyde and any other movie where a couple are outlaws and do stuff in the countryside with amazing cinematography!!  

Casey’s partner in love is .  Them two did some robbing.  They got caught.  She shot cop .  He went to jail, she didn’t.  She had a baby while he’s in jail.  He wants to see his baby and his baby’s mommmma so he done does breaks out.  Ben Foster has eyes for Rooney.  Hopefully Casey will get back home before Ben Foster puts his mitts all over her, even though he has zero clue that he even has mitts.  This feels like 3929929239 other movies we’ve seen before, but I can’t really think of one to compare it to, cause I don’t feel like thinking much more about it cause I juss fell asleep re-thinking any thoughts I had on this snoozy-q movie

Oh, and  was in this movie and he was good and stuff!  That’zzzzzzzzzzzzzz all folks!

Verdictgo: low low low low low end Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Bodies is cold tomorrow in limited release, and on-demand a week later

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…



I’m Still Here
Turning A New Rotten Leaf
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Is the documentary I’m Still Here a hoax or is it faux-real?  Can it be both?  Can it be neither?  Does it even really matter when Joaquin Phoenix basically sank his own acting career battleship by having his ill-advised hip-hop sojourn chronicled for all to see (by To Die For co-star and brother-in law Casey Affleck), and suffer through?  Sure, there were probably plenty of staged bits (name one reality-based anything that isn’t), but we tend to think there are more genuine moments than there aren’t (hopefully that includes the scene with Edward ‘E-JO’ James Olmos).  This much is certainly true: JP(his name, not ours)’s life is a mess, and that mess keeps gettin messier than Mark Messier at a drunken family reunion of Messiers!!  Watching it unfold is excruciating bidness a majority of time (his post-Letterman appearance meltdown is worth the price of admission alone), slow and boring much of the time, and yet it has a neverending spell of fascination it casts upon any viewer and will never let go!!  Shiz is still haunting us, days after contact, and will be fore the 5seeable future (esp with a return trip to Letterman in the werks)!!!  And beyond all that, it’s a franztastic probing look at modern celebrity culture and the insta-meta-criticism floating round the internets!!  And if it is a hoax, it’s certainly the greatest performance of not only Phoenix’s career, but Sean ‘P. Diddy’ Combs‘ too!!!!

Update: IT WASN’T REAL!!!!!!!!!!

The Way We Were: never forget the Leafy early years…

SpaceCamp! Ruskies!  Parenthood!  To Die For!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Here is currently here

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…


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