21 Jump Street
They Got The Beat, Street
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 109 min

21 Jump Street the movie defied the following odds…

a) its trailer was horrible

b) aside from The Fugitive, Dragnet, The Brady Bunch, The Addams Family and The Untouchables, old TV shows rebooted to feature films suck

c) if it’s the 21st century and Ice Cube is in your movie, it’s probably not funny

How it bypassed all of these roadblocks is kinda a modern day movie miracle.  And on top of all that, it’s the most laugh out loud-able film we’ve seen since Jackass 3-D, but if yer talking actual scripted comedies, then it would be the laughiest riot laugh since 2008′s Step Brothers, but it’s better than Step Brothers, so we’d have to definitely say that 21 Jump Street is the funniest f$%king movie we’ve seen since the 2007 original version of Death At A Funeral!!!!!!  That’s right, yo, it’s taken 5 years to make us laugh that hard again.  You know we’re tough on comedy, but it’s a tough love.  No easy laughs, although we do love slapstick humor, which is kinda the easiest laugh giver of givers.  Anywho, take this paragraph for it’s worth, and that worth is that 21 Jump Street is comedy gold, and will probably end up as one of our favorites of 2012… and it’s only March.  WOW

Credit all involved, from the directors (hot buttery action from bottom to top by Phil Lord & Chris Miller), to the writers (Michael Bacall, who just gave us the crizzazzy Project X, with help from Jonah Hill, giving us the winkiest eye wink that will make you want to wink right back) and to the actors (Hill again, in silly straight man skinny mode, plus playing against type Channing Tatum, playing against type, and the aforementioned usually unfunny Ice Cube being funny, and Rob Riggle, who is also usually not funny also being funny, and Chris Parnell, who is criminally funny, being criminally funny, and it’s a crime in general that he doesn’t work more, cause he’s one of SNL’s best alumnuts, EVER, and a guy who looks exactly like a mini-James Franco cause he is a mini-James Franco, cause he is James Franco’s brother Dave Franco + some slices of Ellie Kemper & Nick Offerman, and finally Brie Larson, who you’ll instantly fall in love with, if you weren’t already, and who’s future’s so bright that she’d put Ray-Ban out of bidness)

So what more do you need to know?  Plot?  There is one.  A very decent enuff one that supports the rest of the funny bidness from becoming udder malarkey bidness

moral of the story – they made a movie out of a TV show that didn’t need a movie, and even if it’s barely sorta like the TV show, it’s better than the TV show, and better than any TV show that was turned into a movie since The Brady Bunch!  BAM!!!!

Fanning Over Dakota: Jess Weixler is fine and all, but we recommend you upgrade to the similiarish looking…

Dakota Johnson

and know who she is?

DON JOHNSON AND MELANIE GRIFFITH’S KID!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

21 Jumps into a theater near jews today!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Greenberg
Slow Times At Grudgemont Low
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Ben Stiller is a serious actor! remember? Noah Baumbach can do wit on the west coast! and the west coast apparently has made him lazy! Jennifer Jason Leigh is still his wife! and currently her greatest employer! Greta Gerwig can’t act!  there are reports to the contrary on this, but this notion comes from the same people who actually enjoy the mumblecore movies she usually inhabits and shows her breasts in!  This is the brunt of what makes up the mostly frustrating, lightly fascinating Greenberg, a not so friendly, friendly film about an unstable, although seems to be purty stable Stiller, who’s a happy to be lost soul, who is really an unhappy found soul, trying to make a connection, yet not really trying to make a connection, in a jaded, although not really jaded LA landscape, while house sitting for his brother, or maybe he’s doing some house standing???  Lotta contradictions there, eh?  Well, that’s how it feels to watch this uneven affair that kinda floats and floats, and boasts and boasts, and goes every which way, but mostly sideways, on the way to something about possibly understanding the character and motivations of Greenberg, but in the end we don’t know jack or Greenberg, and still don’t get the whole Greta Gerwig is an actress thing.  Rhys Ifans can act, and his interactions with Stiller work.  Wish there was more of that.  Stiller also has a good rapport with the dog he’s looking after.  The dog is the most likable character in the movie.  The dog is more likable than anything found in Margot At The Wedding.  Neither ‘berg or Margot live up to the bestness that was The Squid and The Whale.  All three are better than anything we’ve seen Greta Gerwig in.  Not a total abortion, or anything to force Noah’s mom into having one, even if there is an abortion in the movie, for no other reason than to have an abortion in the movie, but maybe it’s cause J-J-Leigh had one in Fast Times.  Wish Greenberg’s Cali BFF was Spicoli.  Wish Judge Reinhold JOed in every movie

Bries Nuts :  you can take yer Alison Brie and keep her cause we’ll stick with Greenberger and Unwatchable  States of Tara coming and up hottie Brie Larson.   mmmmmmmmmmm Brie

Verdictgo: all kinds of messy, but we’d still take this over 3838388345555642 other flicks, so Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Greenberg is currently screenberging in NY & LA only, and soon to spoon st elsewhere st elsesoon

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…