zoetropes

sweet Star Wars poster yo!

Han looks great.  Leia’s new do, not so much, but the new characters look like they belong!

but wait…

WHAT THE FCUK IS THIS????

no seriously, this doesn’t like right/good/cool/anything I’d want to see in a Star Wars movie

OMG – it’s Jar Jar Stinxxxx 2015 OR PERHAPS SOMETHING EVEN WORSERESERER THAN THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WEEESA IN TROUBLE!!!

I mean, I’d rather have Dexter Jettster exist in the Star Wars universe than that lil alien goggled dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOOoooooooooooOOOOOObi Wan!!!

MORE LIKE OBI LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bridge of Spies
Spies Like Them
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 141 min

Steven Spielberg knows history!  And how to turn histories into movies!!  And he knows how to direct Tom Hanks!!!  These things all come together (again) in the serviceably good enough Bridge of Spies, the duo’s fourth pairing, and probably the lesser of the four (Saving Private Ryan / Catch Me If You Can and yes, even less so than The Terminal, which is amazingly awesomely horribly cheesy awesome!!)

What do you know of Cold War spies?  Me, I knew the name  Francis Gary Powers (not to be confused with Gary US Bonds) and that he was in a U-2 spyplane, and there was an incident – it got shot down over the USSR, and boy he didn’t know how unlucky he was… to be back in the US, back in the US, back in the USSR!!!  Oh, and that the band U2 got their name from this plane!  Oh, and czech this – Bono’s daughter – Eve Hewson – is in the movie!!!!  It’s like U2 jr meets U-2 senior!!!

What I didn’t know is that we wanted to swap a Soviet spy caught in America (Rudolf Abel by way of chameleon Mark Rylance, who is also the best part of the movie) for FG Powers and that the trade couldn’t be administered directly by the US government, and so someone had to do it.  TOM HANKS!!!!  as James B Donovan!!!  HE DID IT!!!  Spoiler alert.  Ooops, history spoils everything, and to the victors go the spoils!!!  We won the Cold War!!  The trade of spies was like a tie, but Tom Hanks won our hearts!!!

Will you miss out if you skip out on this movie?  Probably not.  A nice 30 minute show on the incident should suffice.  + this is no Munich, which is the kinda history movies Señor Spielbergo should be making, instead of a warm and fuzzy cold war pic, or something wooden and predictable like Lincoln, which I forgot all about until I had write a review of Steven’s latest

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Spies Bridges the Cold War knowledge gap at a theater near jews tomorrow

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Hitchcock meets Kubrick meets my brain exploding!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Red Drum Getaway from Gump via Overlook

for your consideration for awesomenessnessness…

Dan Castellaneta as Aaron Spelling

sadly, the two ‘unauthorized’ movies starring him on Lifetime, weren’t so awesome, cause they have about as much drama as an episode of Hey Dude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVx2CKARM-I

still, if they keep makin these crapola movies, I’ll keep watchin’ em

cause they cast SO well, like…

Abbie Cobb as Jennie Garth

and this guy who played faux Full House Bob Saget!!

AND THE MELROSE–ROLLING STONE COVER SHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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