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Beauty Is Only Skin Depp

Black Mass
KICKS MAJOR MASS!!!!!!!!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 122 min

black mass

American Hustle basically sucked.  Black Mass is the opposite of American Hustle, although the two share a decade, large pompadour hairdos, and strong machismo overacting

Above all – Johnny Depp is terrifying as real-life baddie Whitey Bulger.  And above that – Depp is udderly incredible in the film.  Obviously Depp is an incredible actor, but this may be his best (non-Tim Burton) performance since 1998’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.  I credit two things with this great achievement – the hair and the make-up.  So far, I’m rooting for no horses in the Oscar race, but Depp’s Mass face deserves a gold man, so I guess I’m rooting for that

Depp’s bad hair, bad skin, and cold blue killer eyes will haunt me 9ever

black mass deopp

 

his look is like a combo of this-es…

Johnny S. Thompson Loathing with Fear

fear loathing depp

meets all the Biff Tannens of BTTFII

biff tannen II

biff old ii

biff ii

meets Flattop of Dick Tracy

flat top dick tracy

meets William Forsythe in general

william forsyth

meets Coppola’s Dracula

coppola dracula

meets Electro of Spider-unwatchble-reboot-2

electro

meets Gollum

gollum

meets the creepy-eyed lizard aliens of V

v

Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers

Black Mass preaches the bad words currently at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

black mass teef

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It Ain’t Over ’til It’s Over

Peace The Forks Out

to

1 Dog Night

tocuh me cory wells

cory wells 2

&

Yogi Berra

yogi smile

yogi

yogi yank

yogi 2

yoji mets

yogi bear berra

yogi3

&

Jackie Collins

jackie collins

&

Black Moses

moses

moses2

moses bullets

 

Dom DeLuise The II

k paul

dom paul

&

The Log Lady

log lady

log lady 2

log lady 3

log lady 4

&

+

Joan Leslie

he took us on a ‘Sea Cruise’

he co-Zolofted

Lt Kevin Riley

he hid Americans

he was good to the last drop

Police Academy 1er

he saved Ronny

saved reagen

helped put man on moon

the 10th GB Packers head coach

she helped Petticoat Junction function

a Jimmy Olsen

a Sha Na Na-er

REO Speedwagon guitarist

Laugh-out

Dean Jones

dean jones

Joaquin Andujar

Remo Williams’ maker

Lorimar Productioner

he connected with French

James Taylor’s mother dies at 92

LL Bean counter

he had it covered

dylan grts hits

Uncle Pat

Mrs Zappa

he took many pitching Chances

NATO commander

saxy Stooge

Dickie Moore

dickie moore

Marty Ingels/Mr Shirley Jones

he directed disasters

Kirk Douglas’ sister

that guy

that Disney kid

yeller soda

a Knick

Janus films dude

a Legend-ary actor

he survived Otis Redding

bagel machine man

Jean Darling

jean darling

press officer at Motown Records

he was strange

a TV man of #s

longtime owner of Michigan’s oldest gay bar

Mr Reston, VA

Mrs Fried Chicken

willie mae scotch

Pirate caller

Paul Sorvino’s Brother

a B-way director

Japanese-American who fought Japan on behalf of America in WWII!

the oldest remaining survivor of the San Francisco earthquake of 1906!!!!!!!!!!!!

&

Mr Subway – Frank DeLuca

frank deluca

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Don’t Cut It Out

for your consideration for awesomenessnessness…

Dan Castellaneta as Aaron Spelling

dan as spelling

aaron spelling

sadly, the two ‘unauthorized’ movies starring him on Lifetime, weren’t so awesome, cause they have about as much drama as an episode of Hey Dude

still, if they keep makin these crapola movies, I’ll keep watchin’ em

cause they cast SO well, like…

Abbie Cobb as Jennie Garth

kelli taylor

garth

and this guy who played faux Full House Bob Saget!!

fake saget

AND THE MELROSEROLLING STONE COVER SHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

melrose cover

melrose bod squad

melrose rs

cut it out

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Get On The Huss

never 5get – Toby Huss as faux Frank Sinatra – riffing and rhyming on current [1994] MTV hits

sinatra huss

huss sinatra

 

Toby Huss did plenty of other non-Sinatra MTV promos

+

was Artie The World’s Strongest Man on The Adventures of Pete & Pete!!!!!!!!!

artie pete n pete

and can now be seen on Halt & Catch Fire, which is a pretty damn fine show!

toby hass halt

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