Red Dawn (2012)
Woolite®verines
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 114 min

Sorry Dan Bradley, but you are no John Milius.  Sorry Chris Hemsworth, but you are no Patrick Swayze.  Sorry Josh Peck, but you are no Charlie Sheen. Sorry Adrianne Palicki, but you are no Jennifer Grey.  Sorry Isabel Lucas, but you are no Lea Thompson.  Sorry Josh Hutcherson, but you are no C Thomas Howell.  Sorry Connor Cruise, but you are no Darren Dalton (but you are the son of Tom Cruise!) (wait, who’s Darren Dalton?).  Sorry Jeffrey Dean Morgan, but you are no Powers Boothe (BUT WE STILL LOVE YOU!).  Sorry Brett Cullen, but you are no Harry Dean Stanton.  Sorry Chinese North Koreans, but you are no Russians. Sorry Red Dawn 2012, but you are no Red Dawn 1984.  It’s true.  More like it’s false!!!!

Red Dawn 2012, If you were named something else, like Yellow Dawn or Thor & Peta & That Girl From FNL Kick North Korean A$$, well, then maybe you wouldn’t be such a bad movie, cause you really AREN’T a bad movie, but since you’re calling yourself Red Dawn and are ‘trying’ to be a ‘fresh’ new take on the original Red Dawn, comparisons must be made, and plain and simple, there is no comparison.  Your movie may have more explosions, but your movie has zero of the heart & soul (and even scariness) of the original (which still holds up, btw!!!!!).  So what’s the point?

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Food, Folks & Gone: in the original RD, there were some scenes that took place in and around a McDonalds, as seen in the trailer & photos below, but they were cut from the final film, probably maybe because of the San Ysidro McDonald’s massacre that happened in the same year.  strange.  would have love to have seen them commies order a McVodka Flurry and have Patrick Swayze shove it in their faces!!!

Dawn of the meh rises at a theater near jews this Wednesday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

what is left of the ‘Friendly Games’, Sarajevo 1984

via

Fascinating Photos of Abandoned Olympic Sites Around the World

speaking of Vučko, somehow my parents got me a doll of him when I was 7.  HE WAS THE FCUKING SHITH!!!!!

and speaking of me and Sarajevo ’84

buy this shirt we ‘made’!!

Popeyes first opened in Arabi, Louisiana, a suburb of New Orleans, on June 12, 1972, under the name ‘Chicken on the Run‘, by messiah Al Copeland. They only sold mild chicken, and after the people weren’t buying it, Al & Co got all spicy, renamed the coop after The French Connection‘s Detective Jimmy ‘Popeye’ Doyle (and later acquired the rights to use Popeye the Sailor for marketing, which they’ve since abandoned) and the rest is fried skin geniusnesssssssnesssssss / greatnesssssssnesssssss

If you’ve never eaten Popeyes, you might as well not have a mouth

If you’re a vegetarian, LOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLOLLLLOLLLLOLLLLOLLLOLLL, then just eat the biscuits

If you think KFC is better than Popeyes, you don’t deserve to live

Eat Popeyes and make your life better

HAPPY 40th POPEYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thighmaster flashback – the year was 1994, and I had just turned 17.  my folks asked what I wanted to do for a birthday dinner and/or party.  I said, how bout an all-you-can-eat Popeyes fest for me and my high school besties????  Guess what, it happened and it was probably the best birthday party I’ve ever had, and I’m not even joking

THANK YOU AL & POPEYES!!!!

may you sell fried bestness for 400000000000000000000000000000000000 more years!!!!

V For Vendetta
Not Much To Remember Remember
View Trailer

Nice try film peoples, but the only anarchy on display here is the bloated screenplay with all its half-cocked ideas that labors on and on for what seems like 47238432 November 5ths. High on style, and what seems like itself, there aint nuttin much to behold but a house of potential, built solely with balsa wood. It’s not a total wash out, I mean, dude, Natalie Portman taking a nap on a pile of poo larger than this woman’s [NSFW] for 7 hours would still be worth watching beating off to, but then again, anytime a review of ours turns into a bunch of picture pages (like Van Hell Suck/Hellboo), it aint bound for glory, or bound like Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly either. So without much further Freddy Adu about nothing, wait for the DVD/Blu-Ray/PSP/HD-DVD/VD, and in the meantime (no, not the Helmet album), do the math, cause we’re not Asianified enuff to come up with something that equals $10 well spent, but wees’will stills give it a try…

V 4 Vending =

every third idea from 1984
and even the creative flip-flop casting
of John Hurt
as Big Brother
or is
it

the dude who’s waiting for the worms?

+

Jack White’s
whorerific van Dyck
experimentalpatient

+

the fury of the filth
and the filth of the fury
not including filthy
Colin Firth’s Furby collection

+

more unsuccessful masked adaptations

+

Stephen Rea
doing that Stephen Rea
I’m a cop, you idiot thing
but not in the Schwarzenegger way [d-lode]

+

those Matrix subway platforms
that made me wanna take the first train
to I’m leaving the theaterville

+

bangable bald chicks
that Bald Bull
hasn’t already banged

+

the art collection from DH‘s opening credits

+

the real man in black
not sum guy Joaquin Phoenix
sorta played in a movie
that everyone thinks weigh too highly of

+

Portman in the jail bait form we all know
and claim not to make love to

+

the opposite coolness of shooting
in an empty London
like they did in 28 Days Later

+

the mise en scene of
all things visual Franz Ferdinand

+

the real Anakin Skywalker
Sebastian Shaw
not
zebastard Hayden Chritisiaianianson

+

flubvs course

the real V

Recommended for those who like: Fry’s nose, Portman’s mole, and those who don’t care for Florence Henderson’s b-day suit [NSFW]

Possible Porno Name: V For Vaginal Beast Inspection (which I’m sure will one day become a hentai [NSFW])

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix any of the above mentioned moviezz, or the only goo Alan Moore book to movie conversion, From Hell… btw, where the fork is the berry talented Hughes’ bros next jazzle?

Apt MPupil3: ’1984′ by David Bowie [d-lode]

€16.30 Well Spent: Guy Fawkes hat, black felt

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges. Aight, so it’s kinda sorta entertainin’, but tsk-tsk, and a tsk-it, a triscuit, a steve trachsel, for this shoulda been Breast In Show no diggty doubt using a be-dazzler. I’m still perplexed and mad vexed with all this over ripe tomatoing. Guess they were juss happy it wasn’t Matrix IV: Convolutions