Thighs Wide Shut

It
It Hits The Fan
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 135 min

I’ve never read Stephen King’s book It. My mom did and I remember her telling me the plot as a kid and it scared the living fcuk out of me. Then came the TV mini-series in 1990. It was SO beast!! Dude, Tim Curry as Pennywise? That’s like some first ballot hall of fame work right there!!! So of course I was on board with a movie version. And Chapter 1? FAN-FCUKING-TASTIC. I loved it. It’s like what Stranger Things wishes it was!  And OMG, Bill SkarsgÃ¥rd took Tim Curry’s torch to the next level clown scary a$$ shiz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

OK, enuff about chapter 1.  I want to join in on the fun everyone else is having.  I want to cast the adult kids for It Chapter 2!

I choose these all on my own, but I found out that other people and sites had similiar idears, and sometimes I even stole their photo mock-ups.  thanks/sorry!!

Beverly Marsh

Sophia Lillis – Amy Adams

Sophia actually looks more like Kristen Wiig, but she doesn’t have the heart and soul of Amy Adams, who is any easy choice for adult Bev.  If they don’t nab her, there’s always Jessica Chastain.  And if she’s not down, there’s always Bryce Dallas Howard

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Bill Denbrough

Jaeden Lieberher – Michael Sheen

There are probably 392394924 people who could play Bill, but why not have the adult version played by the guy who played Jaeden Lieberher’s father on Masters of Sex – Michael Sheen.  He’s one of our most gifted actors, and it would be a gift to see what he does as B-B-B-B-Bill

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Ben Hanscom

Jeremy Ray Taylor  –  Jeff Cohen

If you don’t remember, Ben gets thin and does well for himself as an adult.  So they should lure Chunk from Goonies back into acting!!!!  Jeff ‘Chunk’ Cohen is now a happy lawyer, but I think he’d come full circle here as svelte Ben.  I also saw someone choose Jerry O’Connell which would accomplish the same thing – chubby Verne from Stand By Me growns up and gets mad ripped! 

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Richie Tozier

Finn Wolfhard – Winona Ryder

I know Winona Ryder plays Will’s mom on Stranger Things, but she also sorta looks like she could be Mike Wheeler/Finn Wolfhard’s mom too!  So why not have her play an adult version of him in It 2???  Wait, you say she’s a woman and she’d be playing a man?  Dude, she’s looked like Lukas Haas for eons and probably could have played any role he ever had 328238238383 times betterer!!!

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Eddie Kaspbrak

Jack Dylan Grazer - Fred Savage

Since we’re getting creative AND stunted with our casting, why not make Fred Savage the adult Jack Dylan Grazer.  Wide-eyed and wimpy.  Plus there’d be a movie where Chunk and Kevin Arnold are friends!  It’s like my dream life!!!  Although, if we had the ability to time travel any actor in time to play the role, I’d go with Frankie Darro

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Mike Hanlon

Chosen Jacobs - Chadwick Boseman

I’m sorry, but Chadwick Boseman should be cast to play anyone and everyone.  He could play all 7 adults in It 2.  I mean, they should cast him to play David Duke and he’d fcuking nail it.  He would.  Chadwick Boseman is the best

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Stan Uris

Wyatt Oleff – David Moscow

You may have forgotten all about the kid who played the small version of Tom Hanks in Big, but I never did.  Probably cause one of my dear friends is his doppelganger, but juss cause you forgot about Josh Baskin/David Moscow doesn’t mean he can’t play Stan Uris.  And if you know anything about adult Stan Uris, you know that he may not have a lot of screentime, so David Moscow would be juss fine!!

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Battle of The Sexes
Net Gain
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 121 min

There’s a lot of good and goodness in the Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris‘ movie take on the event and events that led up to the infamous 1973 Battle of the Sexes tennis match between old man Bobby Riggs and young Billie Jean King.  You will laugh!  You will cheer!  You will love all the wigs and false teeth (well, maybe not as much as I did)!  And when it’s over, you’ll be like, oh, that WAS nice.  Women had it tough, and they still do!  My, how times have changed, but they really haven’t!  

But you won’t be like, oh man, that was the greatest movie I’ve ever seen about tennis (Strangers On A Train? Match Point?)

But you will go, man, Steve Carell is so good at being funny AND dramatic AND being so real!  To me, he’s having the serious career that Jim Carrey should have had!  Oh man, Jim Carrey, why don’t you have like 11 Oscars already!?!??!

And when you see Emma Stone in Billie Jean’s genes, you’ll be like, OMG, I totally want to bang Emma Stone as Billie Jean King!!!!  And when you see this hairdressing scene where a hairdresser (Andrea Riseborough) runs her hands thru Emma Jean King’s hair and they make eye-bally faces at one another, you’ll be like – HOLY FCUK, I juss creamed myself watching this hairdressing scene!!!  It’s like the hottiest hairdressing scene EVER!!!! (granted, we’ve never seen Shampoo, but it’s probably hotter than anything in it)

Come for the tennis, and then literally COME watching this hairdressing scene!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Sexes is game, set, snatch in limited release this Friday, and at a theater near jews and white nationalists on September 29th

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Home Again
You CAN Go Home Again, Especially When Your Parents Give You The Blueprints
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 97 min

The shiny apple doesn’t fall from the rom-com tree as writer/director Hallie Meyers-Shyer follows in her parents’ footsteps and delivers Home Again – a saccharine sweet debut that will surprise no one, and delight everyone at the same time.  Would you expect anything less from the kin of Nancy Meyers (What Women Want, It’s Complicated, The Intern) and Charles Shyer (Baby Boom, Father of the Bride I and II)???  No, we didn’t, and neither should you.  The torch hasn’t been fully passed yet, but it’s good to know that mushily digestible romantic comedies may be safe for another generation with Hallie and her DNA

Look, Home Again is about as groundbreaking as the discovery that lint exists in your bellybutton, but juss cause everything about this movie is obvious and oblivious to the way the things work in the real world, doesn’t mean that you won’t sit there the entire time with a smile plastered on your face, and all the women you know will be happily watching it for years to come on cable TV airings

Look, I care zero for Reese Witherspoon, and her plight in this movie about just turning 40, being recently separated from (the always charming even when smarmy) Michael Sheen, raising two (too adorable) daughters AND trying to get an interior design career off the ground, but throw in a GILF (Candice Bergen) and three homeless, hunky, aspiring filmmakers (Nat Wolff, Jon Rudnitsky, Pico Alexander) looking for a home (guess where they find a temporary home?????), and you have the recipe for a winning chick flick where they will probably end up singinging doo-wop or Van Morrison songs into the handle of a broom whilst sweeping the floor.  OK, so I was surprised a little, cause THEY DIDN’T SING INTO THE HANDLE OF A BOOM!!!  OR EVEN A MOP!!!  True women’s lib!  LIBERATING (MOVIE) WOMEN FROM SINGING INTO THE HANDLES OF THINGS!!

If you don’t think this is a step forward, THEN STEP OFF!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Home Again aint at your home, but at a theater near jews and white nationalists tomorrow!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

poster for the August 1981 release of Stripes in Argentina, under the title El Pelotón Chiflado (The Crazy Squad)

Disney animator Milt Kahl designed Robin Hood‘s Friar Tuck after Andy Devine, who voiced the character

here, Devine and Phil Harris, who voiced Little John, point to their characters.  This was the third screen pairing of Devine and Harris, after 1929’s Why Be Good? and 1940’s Buck Benny Rides Again

ps – if you didn’t know, Robin Hood is Disney’s greatest animated feature of all time!!!