you know the drill - The Washington Post does it, we does it too, better or worse or perhaps even worser.  anywho, to 2013 and beyond, and be yawn

OUT	IN
McKayla is not impressed	Willie McGee knows you farted
Binders Full of Women jokes	any other kind of jokes
Kanye’s DONDA	Peter Fonda’s Bridget
Star Wars VII	Cowboys & Aliens -1
This Is Not A Fugazi Shirt	This Is A Benghazi Shirt
Argo Fuck Yourself	Go Fuck Yourself Ben Affleck [NSFW]
Large Soda Ban	Large Marge BAND-AID®s
Pinterest	Still Not Interested In Harold Pinter
Keith David	David Keith
Gangnam Style	Graham Greene Style
George McGovern	Mick George Construction
Fresco Jesus	Frisco’s Moses Limos
Honey Boo Boo	Jonah Bobo
  Higgs boson	  Bothan Spies
Jocking Joss Whedon	Flossing with Wil Wheaton
Ai Weiwei	‘Miuzi Weighs A Ton‘
Elite Quaterbacks	Elite Quarter Pounders
Senkaku Islands dispute	Temptation Island redux
Katniss & Peeta	Catshit on Pita
Fiscal Cliff	Schuyler Fisk Eating Clif Bars
Sesame Chicken Friday	General Tso’s Chicken Thursday
Clint Eastwood talking to a chair	Clint Eastwood boning Cher
48fps	Feel-Around
Fifty Shades of Grey	Fifty+ Years of Jennifer Grey
‘Zou Bisou Bisou‘	Steve Zissou Kissing Bijou Phillips at the Zoo
Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen and Bar	The Girl, Interrupted Cafe & Buffet
Danica McKellar The Mathematician	 Fruit Pie The Magician (HE’S COMING BACK YO!)

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ‘010, the ‘011 and the ‘012

The time was the 80s, the person was me. Before I was stroking my balls, I was hitting em, and spending endless hours collecting cards that would one day be worth as much as the 13th series of Garbage Pail Kids. Baseball used to be the shiznit in my life. Now it’s something I attend maybe twice a year and really only pay attention to when autumn leaves crisp up like a Coco Crisp eating a bowl of Cocoa Krispies. Before my beloved city of birth was re-awarded a team that instantly became my team, I was a fan of the nearby Orioles and the Cardinals, who hailed from the city where my parents were born and eating bread. So I guess that now means I have 3 flavorite baseball teams. That may sound like a recockulous amt of teams to heart, but 2 of 3 o dem squads are usually outta the pennant race by the beginning of May. And such is the lameness of the regular baseball season. Anywho, I aint here to mitch and boan, hispecially since me Cards juss picked up their 10th Series crown, so I is here instead to reminisce and celebrate that glorious decade of Whiteyball, and my ten mos flav Cards, who when taken dumps, would have some royal flushes

1. Ozzie Smith – dude back-flipped you fo reals and even appeared in the Simps ep ‘Homer At Bat‘

2. Willie McGee – the OG McG probably had the greatest face of balls thyme, a face that always sez, ‘Dat’s da smelliest damn fart I is have ever smelt!‘

3. Vince Coleman – I once saw the Cards play the ‘Stros in Busch Stadium and Vince hit a grand salami. I also once played hide the salami. I really do like salami and eggs

4. Bob Forsch – the forsch was strong with this him and his bro Ken

5. Tom Pagnozzi – sure, he may be a nobody, but I think I sent him 5 baseball cards to autograph and he returned them all with his John Hancock

6. Jose Oquendo – he hamazin-lee played every single position on a baseball field, including left out

7. Andy Van Slyke – if I could change my last name from Master to anything, it would mos def be Van Slyke

8. Darrell Porter – rumor has it that he was Dick Donner’s second choice to play Superman/Clark Kent

9. Jack Clark – his eyebrows got more pussy than most of us could ever spank of

10. Bruce Sutter – his beard got less pussy than Eric Stoltz did in Mask

much love and respek go out to Tomm Herr, Todd Worrell, Tito Landrum, Joaquín Andújar, and Terry Pendleton

Go NATS, O’s, & CARDS!