Thighs Wide Shut

happarently your 2007 NCAA B-Bull Champs make some people mad horny for Kevin Arnold’s mom, sans clothes

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& 2002 4eva and EVA long may you live goria!

Zodiac
Period Piece of Art
Trailer & Mo

Within the very first scene of Zodiac, we are not only introduced to the titular killer and his dirty work, but we are also reintroduced to David Fincher who’s masterful talent has been sorely missed. His last film dropped in the ’02, but Panic Room was a far cry from where he left off before that in the ’99, with the beyond brills Fight Club. So I’ve basically been waitin and waitin for 8 long years for the director who I’ve worshiped above all the cool mid to late 90s directors (Tarantino, Boyle, Jonze, Singer, and yes, even Aronofsky) to deliver the goods. Zodiac not only fulfilled that Fincher bestness void, but also the void of fantab flicks to be released so far in the ’07. While there’s many moons and suns to go before Dec 31st, I still feel confident in naming it one of the best films of the year

Fincher has already shown that’s he jason capel-able of making a thumcredible serial killer flick. I mean, once could argue that Se7en is even more engaing than Silence of the Lambs, but Zodiac isn’t a serial killer movie. Sure, it’s about a serial killer, but it’s more of a spooky Unsolved Mysteriesish journalistic investigation, a neverending one at that since the killer was never caught, into the events that brought northern Cali to it’s knees in the late 60s and early 70s. When I walked out of the theater I wanted to know every single in and out about the case (gawd bless Zodiackiller.com). I hadn’t been so keen in seeking out the truth since Oliver Stone’s JFK mesmerized me beyond belief when I was all of 14 years of age… if only Spike Lee’s complete misfire Summer of Sam had worked the same magic

While I wished that Inland Empire‘s runtime was 3 minutes instead of 3 hours, I wouldn’t have minded if Zodiac was 2 1/2+ days long instead of 2 1/2+ hours. Tits dat good folks. Welcome back Finchy. Never leave me hangin like that again or I’ll have to throw all my love to the other Finchy for good!

Apt MPupil3: Donovan’s beyond bananas bestness ‘Hurdy Gurdy Man‘ [d] which will forever make me think of this film

Deja View: No, Zodiac aint the first time that Jake Gyllenhaal & John Carroll Lynch peered into each other’s eyes. Hell, it aint even the second time! The two first appeared together as father and son in Bubble Boy, followed by The Good Girl, where JCL was JG’s boss at the Retail Rodeo

Killer Looks: Zodiac Watches

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show•

Rental Round Up(dog)

Colour Me Kubrick
[Trailer]

One of the sadest things a Thigh Master has to deal with on a day-to-day basis is the fact that there will never be another Stanley Kubrick film ever. Since his death and the release of this site’s cousin Eyes Wide Shut in 1999, we’ve been slowly dying ourselves. So any time anything Kubrickianishesque gets released, it’s naturally that we get a bit nutty. Luckily for me, these releases have all eased my pain. We totally JOed to the mishmash that was Spielberg’s take on A.I., and we really dig-dug the not so revealing yet intriguing doc Stanley Kubrick: A Life In Pictures, by his bro-in-law Jan Harlan, and on the last go around, at the ’06 Tribeca Film Fest, we went bananas for Colour Me Kubrick (in America, we leave out the ‘u’). To quote ourselves, Colour Me is the loose fictionalization of conman Alan Conway’s amazing mid 90s London exploits as a Kubrick impersonator that not only is hilarious, but is by far the mos humorous John Malkovich (who plays Conway) film to date. We gave it a rating of Breast In Show and will still stand by that. It’s another one of these Magonlia Pic Day & Date Premiere thangies. Shiz opens in theaters and HDNet today, and will be available on DVD next week. Seek it out, like I seek out the truth about the Zodiac killah!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

G Sauce & Special Love goes out to Spike Lee’s When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts

and YES, this is the gayest pic of Gandalf that you will ever see

the closest one can get to Stanley Kubrick these days, besides catchin a giant retrospective, like the one in suburban MD, is buying the artwork of his wife, Christiane

the one link I shoulda never clicked on cause I is now blind: I am – Mena Suvari Topless Beach of the Day [NSFW & Eyes]

Borat, now in bunnyvision

The Slow Clap, sadly not about the creeping up of gonorrhea

death from a doppleganger

Library Thing Suggester or to hell with that and juss try to keep pace with everytang that Art Garfunkel has read

PFUBU (Porn For Us By Us): Assraellis [NSFW]

What Does 200 Calories Look Like?

kids, make yer own Optimus Prime! [Pakula Shaker]

love animated gifs? then you’ll love the Animated Gif Mashup!

hey you, if you ever find that ‘peggy flemming thigh machine‘, lemme know cause I wanna sue that bitch for Thighpyright infringement

The Post-It Note Jaguar, most likely engineered by Romy and Michele

and if yer ever in northern VT, besides gettin yer nosh on at Al’s French Frys, you muss muss stop at Ben & Jerry’s Factory Tour in Waterbury. It’s not the craziest thang ever but me & the Thigh Mistress, although not as hot as these two, found it all to be quite mooooooooooving

If you need more info on the tour
please contact them toll-free
at 866-BJ-TOURS

Rocky Balboa
A Knockout
Trailers

I never thought that in a million years that a 6th Rocky movie would not only be watchable, but effin yumcredible! DATS EFFIN RIGHT, YO! I said it and I don’t care if you think otherwise. RB is the perfect ending to a series that shoulda hung up its gloves well before Lang got clubbered in #III. While it largely succeeds cause its a respectful celebration of the well travelled road of Rocky, in my mind, it extra-largely succeeds cause the film is a cinematic metaphor for Sylvester Stallone’s own rocky roaded life. When Rocky sez something about his life in the film, he’s also talkin bout Sylvester’s. It’s actually all very touching, and I aint talkin bout what one does when watching a Keeley Hazel sex tape, and it call all purty much be summed up in these lines (which almost doubles the length of this review!)

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!

Gawd bless you SS. You turned what shoulda been a joke into something of relevance. I don’t think anyone expected that to happen, but you went out and did what you do best, and for that, I think we can stop making Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot jokes… for at least another year. Breast of all, this gives me great hope for Die Hard IV: Live Free of Die Hard… even if that stoopid Jeepers Creepers Apple loser is in it

Unsatisfied with this?: then wait for Rambo IV: Pearl of the Cobra, which, to my chuck-knoll-ledge, has nothing to do with Cobra

Possible Porno Name: Bumby Dildo, AHHHHHH!

Apt MPupil3: David Barrett‘s only shining moment, ‘That One Shining Moment‘ [d|vid|post]

IMDb Sweeney: Rocky Sylvester’s currently attached to play ex-LAPD Detective Russell Poole, the man who solved the Biggie Smalls case, but was thwarted by his own superiors, in the ‘008 TV film Notorious, which I guess will be the closest thing Sly will ever get to being in a Hitchcock movie, although he did have an uncredited bit part in Woody Allen’s klassic Bananas and in the Oscar winning Klute. And who had any idea that his first film role was in a porn, The Party at Kitty and Stud’s?

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…