November 30, 1982A Date Which Will Live In Infamy

Gawd bless your Canuck parents for their umcredible DNA and love of boning, which helped to bring you into this world 22 years ago today! I bet you were smokin hot even with the umbilical cord attached to yer lil body.

time to get into yer birthday suit for yer birthday present!


And since I didn’t have time to bake u a cake like I did for Lohan’s 18th, I decided to pen you a lil B-day poem, my dearest Royal Thighness of them all…

You were born in the 80s

And you be the finest of all the liz-adies

Stop teasing me with your ‘maybes’

Isn’t it time to make da babies?

Yer thighs

Hypnotize

And tantalize

And make men cries

Why are you so purrfect

Is beauty a birth defect?

I like it when we pet and neck

And finger bang whilst we listen to Beck

And for those of you who aren’t going to rent The Girl Next Door in her honor today, here’s a highlight reel of her ultra-uber-super-hot-bod for you all to enjoy. [via Dougie Fresh Rheingold]

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