There’s noting scarier than sexual transmitted diseases – where pleasure brings pain, so what if you got an STD that made you see dead people – dead people that follow you and want you to be dead like them, and the only way you can get rid of them is if you bone another person, and pass on the disease, to free yourself from it??? That is the gist of David Robert Mitchell‘s It Follows, and It happens, so get to It!
It is super creepy (WITH MAJOR HELP FROM THAT AMAZING DREAMY CREEPY MUSIC!!!), but ultimately not all that scary (although Detroit in ruins is pretty scary on its own), but if you dug last year’s Babadook, you’ll dig this.  And if you like super cute chicks, Maika Monroe is a super cute chick!!!
Furious 7 is ultimately the greatest movie ever, but is it the greatest Fast and Furious movie? I don’t think it’s as amazin as #6 was is, and to be perfectly honest, I kinda don’t like the new direction they went in for #7 – more guns and blammo and less cars and jammos. Â YES, there is still plenty of car stuff for the motorheads, but when did our Furious crew need to turn into Jason Bourne/GI Joe and play a bunch of Patriot Games???? Â That kinda dumb suff started when The Rock showed up in the series, but it’s fastly getting even more and s’mores redonkulous. Â I mean, wtf is going on here???
We have a need for speed, not drones and helicopter shoot-outs. Â Guess the filmmakers said, well, after #6, we have no where to go but up… in the air. Â And yes, there’s a slick ass scene of cars flying thru da air, and another where cars fly thru buildings (AND IT’S ALL AWESOME!!), and anything else you can imagine, and then they threw in a bunch of other over the top stuff which is anything else I guess they imagined… like, hey, we need two pointless bad guys, and we also need a slick-haired Kurt Russell in dis movie for no reason!
Am I complaining? Â No, but we’re about 1-14 robots away from this franchise turning into the digital eye-fcuk-sore that is the Transformer movie series, and I’m not too thrilled about it. Â BUT, I am all in, and always will be, until they stop making these
+ their goodbye to Paul Walker was fitting/kind/loving/CG awkward but acceptable, and it is what is, although they totally should bring one of his brothers on board for #8
+ this new addition is super crazy/beautiful sexy cool
and for #8? Â why not go old school and do some sort of Cannonball Run cross-country fun-a-athon???? Tyrese is thighlarious, and they should take more advantage of that, ramping up the laughs and car chases, not the guns and dumbo
Jack O’Connell is young and with a gun, and thrown into the troubling Troubles in Belfast on behalf of the British army.  Things go really wrong, and he’s left behind enemy lines.  But who exactly is the enemy (the Unionists? the Nationalists? the British army??)?  And how the heck is he gonna get out of this mess?  Yann Demange‘s ’71 is not so much about the politics (believe me, there’s been plenty of movies made that tackle that), as it is a thrilling cat and mouse game, and that’s ok, cause the game is fun to watch.  And that is that
If you ever wanted to see what a David Cronenberg Mulholland Drive would look like, you gots it in his Maps To The Stars, a tale of nasty Hollywood players and their hidden secrets and desires spilling all over each other.  There’s washed-up and vulnerable actress (Julianne Moore), who’s haunted by her dead mom (Sarah Gadon), but finds renewed hope in new assistant/burn victim (Mia Wasikowska), who’s back in town after many years away, and about to wreak quiet havoc on her self-help guru dad (John Cusack), mom (Olivia Williams) and bitter teen star brother (Evan Bird).  Add in Robert Pattinson as a hunky limo driver + a lot of movie talk + a lot of creepiness, and everything goes wrong, and it feels (mostly) oh so right.  Incest is best, but it’s the würst, and Mia Wasikowska and Evan Bird are the bestest!!!!  EVAN BIRD!!!
Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Creepers
Stars get geographic currently in limited release
My litmus test of dumb-fun movies goes like this – is the movie in question as dumb and as fun as the amazingly dumb-fun Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle is/was?
Last up for the test – Lucy, which passed with flying colors, and dumb-funness!!!
Next up for the test -Â Kingsman: The Secret Service. Â result? Â PASS WITH BRITISH FLYING COLORS!!!!!!
You should be game for it too!  It’s like dumb James Bond, but fun!! It’s like a dumber-funner Layer Cake, a less dumb/more fun Kick-Ass, and a less awesome/more actioned X-Men: First Class.  What do those last 3 flicks have in common?  They came from the British king of dumb-fun - Matthew Vaughn (who took over that role from Guy Ritchie)
But the REAL reason you should see this movie?  Mark Hamill is in it, and while he’s not particularly amazing in it, or even all that memorable (he mainly juss makes a bunch of grunting faces), he is in this movie, and when’s the last time you saw Mark Hamill and his face in ANY movie, on the big screen? 2001’s Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back??  Some things are best left unseen and unsaid
Well, Mark will walk skies again this winter as Luke Skywalker, and whether the new Star Wars is simply passable, good enough OR amazing (please lord, we need this to be amazing), you may not be ready to see him again, but you need to be ready
It’s been so long since he’s been on the big screen, and that you and/or I have cared to see him on a big screen, and it is in your best interest to see him on the big screen ONE time before Star Wars drops.  You need to refamiliarize yo’self with his face and acting.  You want the shock and awww shucks to happen now, and not when you’re trying to take in the new Star Wars, while trying not to jizz in yer pants(/get to be disappointed all over again:)
Kingsman – so much dumb fun, and hispecially some Mark Hamill.  Welcome back Mark!!!  The big screen misses you.  We all missed you!!!  And now we’re ready for you to be a force to reckon with, againÂ
Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers
Kingsman firths it up today at a theater near jews
10. Apr, 2015 
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