Tag Archives: Darren Aronofsky

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Mother!
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Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 121 min

Mother!?

More like…

Mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is A LOT going on in this movie, and while most of it is biblical, and all of it is EPIC, the moral I got out of it is this – when inviting guests or visitors into your home ALWAYS check with your wife first before doing any inviting!!!!!!!  

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

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Tutu For Cocoa Puffs

Black Swan
Perfection Has It’s Price
AND THE PRICE IS BEYOND AWESOMESZEZZ!!!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

In the race for American cinema auteur awesomeness, there’s Darren Aronofsky and Ben Affleck David Fincher, and (although Christopher Nolan’s got skillz) that’s it!!!!!!!  It’s a battle we hope that never ends, as the two continually bring it HARDCORE film after film… with a couple minor, yet very inspired eggceptions.  In Finchy’s case, it’s Benjamin Snoozefest and for DA, it’s his budget-restricted messy mess that is The Fountain.  One sorta miss is nothing compared to the 4 unforgettable dynamite productions under his belt.  His latest, Black Swan is that forth flick and it is nothing short of WOWEE ZOWEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s as manic as Requiem, as mystical as π, and as go for broken as The Wrestler.  Black Swan is essentially the same movie as The Wrestler (ending included????), but with a ♀ doin all the abusing to her body for the profession that owns her life – BALLETING!!!!!

And in the race for the White Swan AND Black Swan dual role in Swan Lake in the duality dualtastic Black Swan are three beautiful ballerina brunettes that no man, woman or child would kick out of bed, even if that bed was made of nails and horse poop: Natalie PortmanMila Kunis and Winona Ryder.  Hard Ryder is yesterday’s forgotten news (but in our world’s SHE’S EVERYDAY NEWS CAUSE WE LOVE HER MORE THAN WE LOVE FRIED CHICKEN), Porcelain Portman is today’s shaken AND stirred edition, and kool-eyed kool-whipped Kunis is all tomorrow’s party.  Add worn-in faced Barbara Hershey as Natalie’s no wire hangers‘/they’re all going to laugh at you‘ mum and vicious Vincent ‘married to Monica Belluci’ Cassel as the ringmaster of this black & white with a splash of red crazytownedness circus, and what you’ve got is the f$%king looniest screen trip we’ve adored and been horrified by since Jacob’s Ladder

Swan also gots crotch grabs, crotch grabbing, groping, Mila Kunis’ eyes, Portman’s toenails, Portman’s fingernails, Portman fingering herself, and some of the fiercest acting performances put to celluloid (will we no longer use that word when shiz all goes 100% digital projection?) in 2010 (Portman will win the Oscar, but wee is totes on team Jarvis, and Cassel deserves to win the Supporting one).  Did we have you had ‘crotch grab’?  You should have been had at ‘Aronofsky’

Toidfact: Darren’s father Abraham Aronofsky has appeared in all 5 of his feature films

We’d Dive For This Swan!!:  normal name, above normal hotness…

Janet Montgomery!!!!  although Janet, explain this!!!

VerdictgoBreast In Show times like 83838!!!!

Swan is currently laking its chops in limited release!!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Prestige Projects

The Prestige & The Fountain
A HUGHe Step In The Right Direction
Pres Trailer & Fout Trailer


Good for Hugh Jackman. After outperforming the usual dreck that he stars in (c’mon peoples, the X-Men movies aren’t all that great… I mean, can you differentiate between the 3 of them?) it seems as if he’s earned the right to pick and choose the directors he wants to work with. And who on earth wouldn’t have Christopher Nolan (The Prestige) and Darren Aronofsky (The Fountain) in their top 5? Last summer he crossed Woody Allen off his list as he did admirable work in his subpar (when only compared to Match Point [review]) Scoop [review], which oddly enuff also involved British magicians AND ScarJo. And with his mos excellent work in Nolan and Aronofsky’s latest pics, Jackman will continue to get his way. Who doesn’t salivate at his teaming-up on Australia with fellow Aussies Nicole Kidman and master Baz Luhrmann, who’s been marty mcsorley missed from cinema ever since his beyond brills Moulin Rouge captivated even Andy Capp back in the ’01?

In the battle of the ’06 magician movies (we won’t even bother includin the Woodman’s Scoop on this war) The Prestige is leaps and gagged and bounds mo better butter than The Illusionist [review], which was by and far the bestest Paul Giamatti film of the year. I mean, how can anyone compete with Batman & Alfred AND The Great White Duke & Smeagol all in one movie? Hell, this puppy is so darn good that I deem it the most re-watchable outta all the Christopher Nolan joints. Yes, even more so than Memento, which had much more thinking involved, but wasn’t nearly as fun as Prestige.

When Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett and yer 70 million $ budget for yer pet film project about the search for eternal life past, present, and future suddenly vanishes like D.B. Cooper, what is one to do? While most would move on, Aronofsky continued on, and not too shabbily, despite losing 30 or so of dem millions, with Hugh Jackman and his super dope fiancee Rachel Weisz. While most people don’t know the backstory of The Fountain‘s black plagued production, and probably won’t know or care in generations to come, I believe it should be taken into consideration when viewing it. You have to accept and embrace it for what it is instead of what it could have been. Aronof had to compromise his original vision, but the finished project is not a total loss, even if it is a giant mess. The Fountain is a lot like Spielberg’s mammoth undertaking of Kubrick’s unrealized A.I.… it’s seems incomplete, but the filmmaking is so effin gorgeous that I’d rather it eggzist in some form than not all

Unsatisfied with this?: peep Andy Serkis rock out with Tenacious D

Possible Porno Name: The Pressed Teets & The Fountain of Poo

Apt MPupil3: ‘Magic’ [d] by The Cars

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Pres, Breast In Show & Fout, despite its flaws, Jeepers Worth A Peepers

until next thyme, the balcony is clothed…

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