TessMs = GreaTITest Breastmas giftest mt EVERest 

NSFW, praise jesuses

Peace The Forks Out

to

Full Nelson

 

&

Plenty O’Toole

&

Fontaine of Youth

+

blue dog master and commander

The Baroness

Noirness

VCB narrator

guy who painted a bunch of American Museum of Natural History background paintings that Wes Anderson probably has wet dreams about

Doritos Locos Tacos messiah

side of iron

some bit actress

Warholer

&

the Slough branch of Wernham-Hogg

hopefully it will go a little something like this…

see you in a week or so

Out of the Furnace
Men of Steel Town
Official ‘Website’ | Trailers & Mo
R | 116 min

There seems to be some kinda minor-renaissance of gritty American shoot-em-up flicks these days.  It’s like the 70s all over again, cept not really.  With the overload of superhero drivel and toy driven babble dominating theaters, this resurgence is a good thing, and change of pace, even if the results have been a little uneven.  Take last year’s Killing Them Softly – a lil flick trying so hard to be mad hard and mad cool (like Mads Mikkelsen), and make a statement or something, but missed the mark, and bored we to tears.  Then there was the The Place Beyond The Pines, which was too much of a good thing, cramming 3 movies into 1, when it probably should have dumped at least one of them, or just been 9 hours of Ryan Gosling riding bikes.  And now comes Scott Cooper‘s Out of The Furnace, which get high marks for acting, attitude, and appearance, but by the time it wraps up, I kinda was like, um, er, uh, that was it?  What exactly was all that for?

But hey, where else are you gonna see Christian Bale smolder, with beautiful longerish hair, as an older brother’s keeper to misfit troublemaker Casey Affleck (he does his best work when he doesn’t open his mouth), and melt the heart Zoe Saldana, and go hunting with uncle Sam Shepard, and listen to Forest Whitaker try to sound like the dude with half a face on Boardwalk Empire, and see who can be more smiley & gruffy & tuffy betweenith Willem Dafoe or Woody Harrelson??????  WHERE ELSE YOU GONNA SEE THIS???  Even if the hunt and be hunted intensity that fills a majority of the film kinda fizzles out at the end, it’s gritty good enuff for me, and should be gritty good enuff for you too

Lil tidbit – the film takes place in the steel-mill town of Braddock, Pennsylvania, where a 1941 novel of a similar name – Out of This Furnace – also took place.  FURNACE THAT!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Furnace smolders with acting in limited release, and soon at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Garbage In, Garbage Out
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 146 min

enuff’s been said already…

CATCHING FIRE was a bad bad future movie but @ least tried harder 2b less of a piece of flamin shit than its predecessor. still sucked ballz

— thigh masteя (@thighmaster) November 30, 2013

what’s mindblowing about THE HUNGER GAME movies is how uninteresting the actual hunger games are — thigh masteя (@thighmaster) November 30, 2013

college football and THE HUNGER GAMES have something in common – their games are meaningless and I couldn’t give a sh!t about either — thigh masteя (@thighmaster) December 1, 2013

don’t know if its the actors or the characters they play, but there couldn’t be any less compelling movie people than movie Katnipps & Pita

— thigh masteя (@thighmaster) November 30, 2013

I know there’s a lot of $$ & exposure, but can’t figure out why real actors (Sutherland, PhilSeyMo, Jeff Wright) would take part in garbage

— thigh masteя (@thighmaster) November 30, 2013

 

 

but two positive things to say!!!

the only positive take away from these HUNGER GAMES movies is Stanley Tucci and his hair and teeth going to 11

— thigh masteя (@thighmaster) November 30, 2013

&

@mikescollins – it happened – I have the minor hots 4 Jena Malone – due to her raccoon eyes and elevator action in H GAMES: CATCHING SNOOZES

— thigh masteя (@thighmaster) November 30, 2013

–

wow, what a piece of fcuking crap. it’s JUSS as awful as The Apple, cept The Apple is awesomely bad and Catching Snoozes is just bad (same applied with the first movie)

Verdictgo: Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous

Hunger lames it up at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…