Michael Fassbender’s Gynormous Shlong: The Movie

Shame
Hard-Ons, Hard-On
Official WebsiteTrailers & Mo
NC-17(!!!) | 101 min

(not that) Steve McQueen somehow took Michael Fassbender‘s penis + Carey Mulligan showering nekkid([email protected]@#$%#@!!!!) and turned it into the least sexy sexual movie in these sexting times. Good thing? Bad thing?  Hard to tell, and yet we’re not a-SHAME-ed to admit that we kinda loved this hard to love movie.  Whether you’ll feel the same way all depends on how much you JO in the shower or in the bathroom at work.  So, basically every man can sorta identify with Fassbender’s beyond sex-craved character, cept we all don’t have a gynormous shlong and we don’t meet DTF ladies every 120 seconds (boys can dream, can’t wees???), and every woman will identify at how awesomely gynormous Fassbender’s shlong is.  So, there’s really something for everyone, and that something is Fassbender’s gynormous shlong!

moral of the story: Shame has one too many climaxes (ha, ha, ha, ha), but not very much plot (it’s simply a moody mood piece about a guy who loves (or is it hates?) to get off, and how hot AND crazy his sister is, and how hot AND crazy he is), but it’s got a lot of very annoying James Badge Dale stylings (it’s the kid from Lord of the Flies!!!!), lots of New York quiet (our fav kinda quiet), and lots of Fassbender’s shlong (everyone’s fav kinda shlong).  Shame on he or we?  Practice safe watching and decide for yo-self

No Shame In These Hotties:

Lucy Walters

in this scene!!! which is like the hottiest non-sexual scene ever

WHY AREN’T MY SUBWAY RIDES LIKE THIS!

AND OH, BY THE GAY, THAT SCORE IS F$%KING KILLER!!!

Elizabeth Masucci

Marta Milans

& mainly for the name only

Calamity Chang

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Shame is disgrace-amaze-ment currently in limited release (ha, ha, ‘release’)

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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