Thighs Wide Shut

[via Moody BOOS]

• Stroker Ace & The Archdukes? No mouth-watering here. Not even any hunger [d-lode] for (this) stink

• Brett Ratner, I apologize for everything I’ve ever said about you and that friggin photobooth of yers

• Any Bob Hoskins news is good news

• And for all the Roberts and Thigh Masters out there who’ve been McDyin to McClutchin their McCrotchs: Martine McCutcheon, lesbian sex scenes, The English Harem. Too bad there aint no such thang as ITV1America

• ‘Pova tops Russia’s rich list for athletes. So who the scrooge is #2, Nikolai Volkoff?

• Frynally, a blizogger who aint afraid to put albums you’ve actually heard of in their top ten of the year! I HEART YOU THE MOS JASONSHOPPE!!! + yer unearthing of that Spike Jonezes/GAP ad make me wanna dry hump u even more… although the link has been floatin ’round on many a websites, I still wanna be your dog, dawg!!!

• Ricky Martin describes the last porno he watched + other golden info [via Larry Mullins JrSr]

• Tommy Lee Jones’ finally found some part-time work for his ‘inventive’ college roomie

• Buckner and Garcia, a middle class man’s Loggins & Messina

• 10 bones well saved

• CC the IV SUCKS!!!

• A white guy and some people formerly known as ‘Orientals’

• Metamorph Faces

• 2006 is already shaping up to be the best 2006 MT EVEREST!!!!

• The power is in your hands [via Witz]

• I’m pulling for “Boom Goes the Dynamite”

• Poland’s greatest contribution to the world since being the butt of many Blanche Knott jokes: this Neverending Story websizzle (and u better hit every link, cause how else u gonna find a pic of director Wolfgang Petersen semi molesting Barret Oliver?)

• Mint yer own Monopoly money! SO EFFIN MINT!! [via K2P]

• Solving the Rubik’s Cube [via Gorillam]

• For some reason I think I’ve posted this before, or is it juss the same wet dream I keep having every night? [via The Meat Clip/Roach Hook]

• ualuealuealeuale

• I tolds ya, no one had more fun at my 10-year reunion than I, the mos populous kid EVER

• And which love goes the deepest (aka, to 11)… myne, for the girl with the Tom Cruise brows, or Camilla’s chair fetish, or John Holmes’es’es, who was so mad deep, he could stick his unit so far thru the Ozone hole that it coulda reached Uranus!! No contest, cause my dong could reach the milky way and draw a map of Hawaii on her chest even if I was in Alpha Centauri playing Atari!! YOU SO FLY BABY THAT I GONNA TAKE ONE PICTURE OF YOU AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THERE ARE TWO OF YOUS!!!!! I AM REASON PHOTOSHOP INVENT!!!

Never forget yer IIIrd love

[via UMC]

+ Fleur Delacour is naked, THE CLIPS [via Dr Falada]

+ FBI Top Ten Art Crimes [via Monkey Man]

+ Ivanka’s Don’s Dairy Queen?

+ Shave Kyle Orton’s Neckbeard! [via Jayson Blair Warner]

+ World’s scariest vagina [NSFW, duh/boviously]

+ No one loves us

+ Our Gawd, Is An Awesome Gawd

[dinty more]

and…

And a great time to have a crazy mustache and be a fan of four zillion uniform changes since 1900!!

• Even I think this more tasteless than Fruit Stripe gum. I mean, she’s only 11, she’s my adopted daughter, and I’m sure this kid already gave her cooties for life! [via De-Fame Her]

• I haven’t been this teased since that chick in the Crying Game turned out to be a dude

• Hollywood, we seriously need to talk

• Good luck with that Radcliffe, and that too. You make Frodo look as straight as Rock Hudson Tab Hunter Sheryl Swoopes… errrrrrrrr, I give up. Frodo is as gay as you are.

• Speaking of GAY… so this whole t.A.T.u. faux gay thing may be faux faux. Either way they swing, I’m all faux it

• Twats even more uneggceptable than the peace the fork outtings of the G-Men’s version of Jack Can’t Cooke and the voice who made the world safe for ho’s? How bout the choking on a ham sandwichedness/death of the mos famous person to ever hail from Bestine IV AND win the Kenobi Medallion award AND who said such classic things as…

“Red Six standing by.”

“I’m right with you red three.”

“I’ve got a problem here.“

“I can hold it.”

“No I’m alright, I’m alrightaaaarrrrrggghhhhh….”

You may know him as Red Six, or King of Yavin, or Tono, or Piggy, or even Belly Runner, but I know him bestestest as

JEK PORKINS

A Long Time Ago (In A Galaxy Far Far Away)-2005
[via Bilboe Big’uns]

• Can you say, Cuthwurst?

• Dr Lawrence Jacoby divulges the biggest Twin Peaks mystery of them all… how he found his signature eyewear

• Still figuring out what yer getting me for my b-day on November the 7th? Look no further, and I even have the shoes to match! [hotness via G-spot-hattan]

• Battle of the (unattractive) Dutch Babes. You’ll never see so many ‘j’s in names again in yer life!! [via Daaaaaaan]

…although these British “babes” could give those Dutch un-treats a run for their yucky

…then again, this lil Liverpudlian owns my mos flavorite pair of fake bazoombas in our galaxy

• Worst Little Leaguer of The Year Award. How much you wanna bet their fathers coach their teams?

• Ski Dubai? Can’t wait to taste the hummus at the lodge! [via Cubetacular]

• A Closer Look At The World Around Us: An HP LaserJet Printer Box

• The Breast AND Wurst in generic brand Halloween costumes. And the Boo Berry ‘stume is by far the mos un-boo boo related thing mt everest… next to Boog Powell, snatchurally

• And before ya go, I want to help you help you. Have you heard Supergrass’ new super mark duper grassy Thigh Master approveduper album Road To Rouen yet? Even if ya have, would ya like to win dat + some other funilicious things like stuff and more things? Two RANDOM peeps will win, and one of the two will be the coolest kid in school, or place of bidness (or funemployment like me), with this berry limited edition TinyMeat made thIghPod case! All ya have to do is answer the following three questions, and she-male me wit yer name and addy!!!

1) Which Supergrass song appeared on the Clueless soundtrack?
2) Who was Jek Porkins’ best friend?
3) What am I wearing right now?

On behalf of Mark Duper (who is probably Supergrass fan #1), this is Edward R Snoozer saying, good night, and good luck!!!

Lord, oh lord, all mighty and misty, who hath created Popeyes Fried Chicken and Biscuits in your own image, please halteth the rain that hath plagued our fine, fair, and urined smelling city for a week plus. I don’t know how to anti-rain dance, and I can’t seem to find the Virgin Connie Swail to sacrifice in your honor, so in Lou of all that, I have provided you with these mp3s, for your Godpod.

‘No Rain’ – Blind Melon
‘Be The Rain’ – Neil Young
‘November Rain’ – Guns ‘N Roses
‘Raining Again’ – Moby
‘Why Does It Always Rain On Me’ – Travis
‘Purple Rain’ – Prince and the Revolution
‘So. Central Rain’ (Live on Letterman) – R.E.M.

and not an mp3, but the cpt of cool, TV’s Rainn Wilson

Peas note, there are many a ‘rain’ songs out there, but you alls can finger out where to find em yerself. Now leave me be, go see Domino, and have yerself a kick arse tweakend! Go Skins!!