Tag Archives: sea foam

The 2017 Thighsmans

we named the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2017

and now, for the only awards that matter…

Fourteenthial Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards

aka

THE THIGHSMANS!!!

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Thing In A Movie That Pissed Me Off More Than Urinating In and/or On My Own Pants

trying to make Rose from Star Wars
The Last Jedi 
a thing

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Second Thing In A Movie That Pissed Me Off More Than Urinating In and/or On My Own Pants AND That Wasn’t Leia Flying In Space

the environmental message of freeing the DUMBo animals in Last Jedi

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The 8th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of The You Think You’re An Actress And Maybe You Are But You Annoy The Living Bejesus Out Of Me Every Time I See You On Screen And I Want You Gone So Please Stop Acting Award

go away

Lily James & her teef

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The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Man of The Year

 

Dan Stevens

who had SEVEN flix released in 2017!!

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Gifs of the Gawds

anything Rihanna was doing in Valerian

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Begging For More Begbie

there is nothing better than Begbie, the best part of Trainspotting 2

so forget about making a 3rd one and just make a stand alone Begbie movie please

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Bob’s Big Girls (& Boys)
aka
The 2017 Bobbies!

these bobbies are darin!

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The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award

aka – these ladies be DAMN fine award!!

Eiza González

 & 

Anjela Nedyalkova

 & 

Hot Aunt May

 & 

 

Gosling’s sister’s rack

 & 

 Salacious B Crumb sitting on a toilet, reading Playboy

 

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Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever

aka Bestest Eyes

Ana de Armas 

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FOAM Alone!

aka hottest NON-human part of any movie

the foam from Dunkirk

 

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Hairing Is Caring AND Sexy

 

Come for the tennis, and then literally COME watching this hairdressing scene!!!

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Würstest BESTEST Date Movie/Witherspoonfest
of 2017

 

I can’t believe I typed this

Home Again

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Best Boys On The Side Player

THIS GUY!!!!

 from I, Tonya

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Songs That Execute Better Than Norman Mailer Does As Norman Bates

norman-bates-mailer

The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion – ‘Bellbottoms’ in Baby Driver (somehow I forgot this song existed)

hologram Elvis in Blade Runner 2049

Bowie’s In Space

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Trailers Worth Tractoring

(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)

 traylor-tractor-gif

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Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!

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Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles

It Comes at Night / Marrowbone / The Girl with All the Gifts / All Nighter / Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie / The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature

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Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award

Ninja N. Devoe

Flint Beverage

&
David Buttolph

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Don’t You Forget About Me/These Forgetmenot Bon Mots

i made all these Kao Kan gifs for you

this logo

Why I Love David Fincher’s Zodiac

 

where leia’s hair buns
were inspired from

Tom Selleck as Indiana Jones and Sean Young as Marion Ravenwood!!!!!!!!

Eworks on Ice!

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Movies To Look For In The ‘018

 

Four Billboards Outside of Branson, Missouri

Boss Toddler

DiPs

Hello Robin Christopher

The Man Who Invented Hanukkah

Rebel in the Pumpernickel

17 Fast, 17 Furious

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In Memoriam

 

too many great names to name, so we’ll just leave it like this

 

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don’t forget to peep out our  ’16,  ’15, ’14, ’13, ’12, ’11, ’10, ’09, ’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!! 

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

Foam & Away

Dunkirk
Three Directions, Singular Styles
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 106 min

I am all for Christopher Nolan, and yet sometimes I am not.  Sometimes he hits it right, like his prestigious and tricky Prestige (still my personal fav of his). Other times he gets a lil too deceptive and heady, like with Inception.  Sometimes there’s good Battiness, and sometimes bad.  The guy always tries to make stellar work, as seen mos recently with Interstellar, and yet, for some reason, I don’t always look forward to what’s coming up next from him

I love movies.  I love film.  I love 35mm film being projected.  I want 35mm film to survive, and yet when I hear about Nolan pushing to keep it alive, I am somehow turned off by it and him.  Maybe it’s cause he seems so cocky and self-important.  Or thinks he’s the second coming of Stanley Kubrick.  Or maybe it’s cause he has such great hair.  Damn, I wish I had such hair!

Well, after watching his latest, very unpretentious, and mos excellent Dunkirk, I’m ready to let bygones be gone!

YOU DID IT CHRISTOPHER!!!!  You left all the overthinking and overdoing in the present and made very good by going back into the past!!!

Cause in the past, you can’t have buildings fold, or people walking on the ceiling, or Tom Hardy talking like he has 12838383 muzzles on his mouth.  Oh wait, you can!!

Anywho – what a fcuking show!!!  You learn NOTHING about this WWII battle, where English soldiers are practicality marooned on a French beach, while Germans have their way with them, but that’s OK.  I’m sure the actual soldiers on the beach (look how Captainy Kenneth Branagh looks!), and in the sky (oh, that Jack Lowden is a looker!) and in the sea (Mark Rylance, better at acting AND sailing than wearing hats) also had no clue as to what was going on either!!  And how can you better sympathize with your on-screen heroes when you know about as much as they do!  WE KNOW NOTHING!!!!  CEPT HOW RAD THIS MOVIE WAS!!!  AND WHAT INCREDIBLE SOUNDS WE DONE HEARD!!!  (if the movie only wins ONE Oscar, let it be for the sound one that awards achievement in HEXplosions and plane noises)

Juss so darn lucky to not have to fight in a war like these people did

Juss wish we were as lucky as Harry Styles is!  He’s so handsome!!!!  So fcuking fine looking that the ocean starts to ejaculate all over the beach anytime he’s near.  LOOK AT ALL THAT SEA FOAM!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Dunkirk is far from DUMBkirk at a theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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