24. May, 2013
San Frandisco – easily America’s greatest non-ranch farts city
if you’ve never been, you might as well leave for Uranus, and orbit your own anus
I mean, where else you gonna see this sight???
bars none, one of the illest places to visit
it water TOWERS over all other prisons!!!
for birdmen and birdwomen everywhere!!!
i mean, if you had to go to one prison, wouldn’t you want to go here????
I mean, they have their own baseballs!!!
speaking of baseballsss
made my first ever visit to Pac-Bell/AT&T/Verizon/Bell Atlantic Park to see mees Nats lose 2 games
where Coke plays catch, and Sully from Monsters Inc is a true San Fran Giant!!!
ok, maybe that was a stretch
at the super dope Musée Mécanique, where they gots ye olde thyme arcade games and erotic movies!
but nothing beats this 7-11 deal
except eating Mexican food and using a corn cob to wipe yer butt
oh Mexican food, why you taste so good, but hurt butts so much??
but my favorite restaurant on earth isn’t even a restaurant – it’s a chocolatier – See’s Candies
oh San Fran, why are you more beautiful than India Reynolds?
and why aren’t all gates painted orange vermillion like yer golden ones???
and why aren’t all hills this alive???
and why do a bunch of yer buildings look like the 70s version of the future (which is my favorite version of the future)????
OK, time to step out, cause this house is full
perv-iously…
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