Thighs Wide Shut

Freedom’s Fury
No Fries Were Freedomed In The Making of This Movie
Trailer
US Release Date – unknown

This is the best water polo movie of all time, well, 2nd breast, behind the 1898 vlasic Water Polo (if anyone has actually seen it or knows anyone who has seen it and can write a 500 page essay on its impact on terrance farming in the Incan culture, I’ll take you to Wendy’s AND let you choose 5 items off the 99 cent value menu). Let’s be serious for a moment folks. OK, moments up. OK, now it’s question time: Did they ever teach us about post-WWII Hungary, under the iron curtaineded shroud and clout of communist CCCP in AP European History class? OK, answer time: No. Good thing I caught this then, could otherwise I still be famished for Hungarian knowledge (hey, I’m hungry, anyone want to get some bacon wrapped in bacon with me?). Ever heard of ‘the bloodiest game in Olympic history‘? Yeah, me neither. What if I told you that that that that the game in question was water polo, and that that that that water polo game was the semi-final match at the ’56 Summer Games where said Hungry-Men (not unlike former Swenson’s TV dinner pitchman/Man Oh Mann sausages inventor Charles Mann) were playing for more than medal glory when they were pitted against their oppressors, aka the country that gave us the world’s fynest faux-lesbians? Would you be a bit more interested in this fast-in-nating doc?
And maybers in the process become a better, more learneded person? Well, woulds yous? Can I ask anymore questions? Yeah, why do armpits smell but elbows don’t? And why did they cancel Drexell’s Class?

Recommended for those who like: the red dress from S’s List, flags with holes in the middle, and thinking about Mark Spitz’ mustache while he narrates things, like I did during this movie he narrarrrarorrated

Possible Porno Name: AnalFists of Fury

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix rent the VHS tape of Nazi Riefenstahl’s Olympia Pt 1 & 2 [WATCH BOTH PARTS!]

Apt MPupil3: ‘Radio Free Europe’ by REM [live Letterman vid] y ‘Power To The People’ by Lennon/Lennon [d] y ‘Hungary Like The Wolf’ by D² [d]

IMDb Sweeney: I think it’s safe to assume that no other movie co-stars three Belas, more Nagys than at Chuck‘s family reunion, and a few Magyars named after the dude who lives in Val Kilmer and Sarah Jessica Parkers‘s closet (aka Uncle Rico)

TFF Thighspotting: Marie Barone, like I have any cluedo who the fred funk that is

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show, and it has nothing to do with how awful Civic Duty was or how hot Kari Matchett is, who loves pointing at my meat… selection

Lord, oh lord, all mighty and misty, who hath created Popeyes Fried Chicken and Biscuits in your own image, please halteth the rain that hath plagued our fine, fair, and urined smelling city for a week plus. I don’t know how to anti-rain dance, and I can’t seem to find the Virgin Connie Swail to sacrifice in your honor, so in Lou of all that, I have provided you with these mp3s, for your Godpod.

‘No Rain’ – Blind Melon
‘Be The Rain’ – Neil Young
‘November Rain’ – Guns ‘N Roses
‘Raining Again’ – Moby
‘Why Does It Always Rain On Me’ – Travis
‘Purple Rain’ – Prince and the Revolution
‘So. Central Rain’ (Live on Letterman) – R.E.M.

and not an mp3, but the cpt of cool, TV’s Rainn Wilson

Peas note, there are many a ‘rain’ songs out there, but you alls can finger out where to find em yerself. Now leave me be, go see Domino, and have yerself a kick arse tweakend! Go Skins!!

BREAKING NEWS

Audrey Tautou Is

Deli-Scruumptious & Adorable

…hispecially with no clothes on

– The kids over at Donkey Boners scrounge up two fab links today: 1) watch a guy beat Super Mario 3 in 11 minutes and 2 seconds! Good thing he didn’t have to face Bowser from Sha Na Na. 2) (if u didn’t see it) Napoleon Dynamite delivering a Top Ten list on Letterman.

– Iron Maiden to play Reading/Leeds? What?

– Jen & Brad’s splittsville has left Ali G homeless. [via Golden Boy]

– Michael Stipe dreams of Shirley Maclaine, tells her about it, and then she proceeds to freak out on him.

– We all know that pink may be the new blog, but apparently The Gay Master is the new Tr3nt.

– The blog we’ve all been dreaming creaming of: The NFL Cheerleader Blog. I mean, where else are you gonna learn about such sorta-hotties (which btw, are the new porta-potties) as Ravens’ rah-rah-raher, Mary Claire Butt.

– Wannamaker, do you want me to get you an Xbox Millennium Falcon for your b-day? Or I could just re-gift the re-gifted calendar that you gave me for mine? [via Double Vski]

– The Big Shocker. [via Guns n’ Rosenthal]

– Joan is a bigger hack than Brian DePalma.

– Looks like this Rabbi won’t be getting many more tips if he keeps giving babies herpes during circumcisions. [via Mustard King of Clevetown]

– North Korea Declares War On Long Hair

– Miami Judge Drops Charge Against King Kong [via Mr Poon]

– The Virgin Mary on a grilled cheese is one thing, but Jesus in a frying pan? What’s next, the image of the Arcade Fire appearing in a bag of Fritos? [via Nebraska Ben]

– Peabs not only just became a professional kangaroo named Bart Jemima, but the first professional kangaroo to publicly profess his love for an iPod. [via Uncle G-Funk]

– One of the breastest headlines I’ve seen in awhile: Salma Hayek’s Naked Breasts Make Her Want To Kill Herself. That’s odd, dem bazoombas make me want to ‘off’ myself in a entirely different way. Ahhhh Hayek’s boobs.

– And for those of you moaning for more Cuthbertness, I have some major hotness to unleash later today, but in the meantime, suck on this… Mischa pic [1nce again via Mischa-B.com]

These People Were Born

1916 – Beverly “Loud and” Cleary

1947 – David “Pearl Jam’s” Letterman

1947 – Tom “For Some Reason I Think B Affleck
is a Better Jack Ryan” Clancy

1979 – Claire “My So Called Acting Career” Danes

You bore me, & you
look like my friend JP

And These People Croaked

1945 – Franklin D “eez Nutz” Roosevelt

1981 – “Average” Joe Louis

1989 – Sugar “Free” Ray Robinson

1989 – Abbie “Normal” Hoffman

2001 – Harvey “Have In A” Ball…
the dude who invented the Smiley

2003 – Cecil H. Green, Texas Instruments Founder
Damn you and yer $2,000 graphing calculators

How does one invent “the Smiley”?

And This Shit Happened

1633 – Galileo is convicted of eating Hershey chocolate…
I mean heresy

1961 – Yuri Gagarin is the first man in space. No one really cares unless the word “American” is in that statement.

1992 – Euro Disney opens in France. Jerry Lewis replaces Michael Jackson in the French version of the 3-D extravaganza Captain Eo.

The least watched 3-D
movie since Jaws 3-D