Baby Driver
iPod Racing
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 113 min

Lets face it - Edgar Wright isn’t THAT great of a director, but man, does that guy certainly try to direct the fcuk out of his movies, and man, does he sure like to have fun, and hopes that you will too.  I’ve sorta had fun seeing all of his films (he’s definitely good at ideas and decent at humor), but I have only truly loved one of them – Hot Fuzz. I didn’t LOVE love his latest – Baby Driver – but it was certainly fun (and more fun but not nearly as good as the seriously driven Drive was), and it was certainly better than all of his other (non-Fuzzy) films that juss weren’t quite there

Had Baby Driver been directed by someone else, say Guy Ritchie or Matthew Vaughn, or even the the Wachowskis, this could have been something momentous.  Ritchie or Vaughn could have made it more polished, and taken the tongue with the cheek, instead of juss being mostly a wagging tongue.  The Wachowskis failed with Speed Racer, but I think they would have soared with the keys to Baby Driver.  Directed by Edgar, the film felt not quite Wright (the car driving scenes in particular didn’t seem overly fast nor furious enuff), but as a whole, it was better than OK, and that’s… OK, cause I really liked the main character – A LOT!  Juss wish the presentation was more presentable, + all the side attractions needed more traction to them

Speaking of the man and the man who played him - Baby Driver IS Ansel Elgort‘s young Han Solo movie.  A finalist for the role he didn’t get, Elgort does super fine as a slick and cool maverick pilot (of a car) flying/driving into the heart of danger, and coming out of it each and every time barely alive, but even slicker and cooler than he was before!  He even wears a jacket that’s very Han-y Solo-ish

Dude – Baby Driver IS Ansel Elgort As Young Han Solo The Movie!!!

But what about everything else?

The movie is all about the soundtrack, and while there are some choice cuts (‘Harlem Shuffle’, Blur’s ‘Intermission’, the Beach Boys’ ‘Let’s Go Away For Awhile’), a lot of the other choices were either too obvious, kinda forgettable, or didn’t match the speed of the car/action.  If I ever made a movie, and had a car chase in it, I would certainly use Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Run’.  But I’m probably not going to make a movie, so I’ll juss be critical of people who do make em!

loved the Michael Meyers mask joke, juss wish it wasn’t ruined for me in the trailer

Lily James is a peach as baby’s babe, but maybe a bit too syrupy sweet

Kevin Spacey somehow doesn’t chew enough of the scenery as you think he would

Jon Hamm is likable, and then becomes detestable – and who wants to endure an unlikable Jon Hamm?

Jamie Foxx – I dunno what he was, but I could barely understand any of his lines of dialog, so he didn’t really register with me

Speaking of a foxx…

HUBBA BUBBA YUBBA HUMMANANA HUMMMMMANA AY DIOS MIO 

Eiza González!!!!!

Verdictgo: juss enuff to make it a Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Baby goes into overDriver currently at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Casino Jack
Cash Rules/Ruined Everything Around Him
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Did you see Alex Gibney‘s Jack Abramoff doc Casino Jack and The United States of Money?  The hard facts put on display seemed to defy reality: money hungry lobbyists scamming Native Americans, exploiting sweatshops in the South Pacific, whacking Greek casino boat owners, funneling cash to feed vanity Hebrew school projects, all while shaking hands and being pat on the back by US Senators and even the dude in the Oval Office.  Head-shaking unbelievableness!!!  No writer in Hollywood could ever dream up something so preposterous, so turning all this juicy material into a feature film seems like the natural thing to do, and that’s what did done happen

Director George Hickenlooper (who recently passed away) and writer Norman Snider are up to the easy task with their own Casino Jack, and while it has the production values of an Andy Sidaris flick, the results are still entertaining enough to make for a solid companion piece to the Gibney doc… which you should see first, or instead of.  You may have had a enuff of Kevin Spacey‘s dourpussedness as of late, but in the title role here, he joyfully apes it up, and we freely eats it up!   WELCOME BACK SPACEMAN (and we’re not talkin about K-PAX)!!  The rest of the names that round of the cast may not incite riots, but Barry Pepper (as Michael Scanlon), Kelly Preston, Graham Greene, Maury Chaykin (he too also passed away recently too also!), Spencer Garrett (watch his demo reel!) and Jon Lovitz, yes, JON LOVITZ, each raise their game as the chips stack up and then fall to pieces.  B-listicious!

In The Looper: George cast his Governor of Colorado cousin John Hickenlooper as a senator

This Week’s Edition of Cutiepie McGee:

Anna Hardwick may play Lobbyist #2, but in our hearts, she’s #1!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Casino gets Jacked up this Friday only in NY &LA and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Social Network
Turn On, Log In, Cash Out
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Cocky Boston college kids get rich beyond their wildest dreams and hot chicks beyond their wildest wet dreams, thanks to a lil backhandedness and most importantly, brains!!  No, we’re not talking about Ben Mezrich’s fun book Bringing Down The House about the M.I.T.ers who beatdown Vegas, and the not-so fun movie adaptation 21 starring Kevin Spacey, but we ARE talking about another Mezrich work, and it too apparently involves Spacey. Ben’s Accidental Billionaires: The Founding of Facebook A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius and Betrayal has been given the big screen treatment (Spacey as Producer), with overly whip & whit-smart dialog by Aaron Sorkin, and the unnecessary for this material directing greatness of David Fincher (who employed Spacey in Se7en).  And the results?  No, it’s not the Citizen Kane of the 21st century, the movie that defines a generation, or even the best of the year (a lil too early to tell, being September and all + there’s Fish Tank and Enter The Void?????), but it’s 3983283484 times the movie 21 was and it’s directed by David Fincher, so therefore it’s beyond beautiful and utterly fantastic (Ben Borings Buttons was an exception to HE RULES!!!!), although it’s no Zodiac, which IS one of the best movies of the past 10+ years, so there!  We will say that it’s probably the bestest internet related movie since the birth of the internets!!  INTERNETS!!!!!

So what’s the story of The Facebook anywayszz?  Is it even all that interesting and worth telling?  As a whole, no, but the real life characters involved and their strained relationships with one another are worth the exploration/exploitation.  There’s the face of the Book, the crafty/shifty Mark Zuckerberg (the always cerebral, and for once spiteful Jesse Eisenberg!), and all those he left in the dust on the way to zillions, who, in turned sued his pants off, like his former BFF and initial investor Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield, of Andrew Garfield Minus Andrew Garfield fame), and his over-privileged business partners of all of 8 seconds who’s ideas he nicked, rowing twins Cameron Winklevoss & Tyler Winklevoss (a perfectly WASPy Armie Hammer pulling double duty, who even met the real twins he played!) and Divya Narendra (Max Minghella).  There’s also the woman (Rooney Mara, the American Lisbeth Salander) who broke Zuck’s heart, and in turn motivated him to think big, and the man who stole his, Napsterer Sean Parker (a decent Justin Timberlake, although wethinks Mark-Paul Gosselaar should be getting all of his roles), who pushed him to think even bigger!

And yet the real stars aren’t the actors, but the mood makers.  Word em ups to Sorkin, and his whirlwind and sirprizngly funny script.  Hear, hear big time to Trent Reznor(!!!!) and Atticus Ross and their haunting, pulsating score.  And the eyes have it for cinematographer Jeff Cronenweth, who makes Harvard’s campus look like the next haunting grounds of… THE ZODIAC!!!  And speaking of Zodiac, is there any active director more on top of his game than Fincher?  Is he 5reals?  Can he figure out a way to direct 10 movies a year????  Seriously, how’d Ben Buttons turn out to be such a missfire?  Can he direct Zodiac again???  No, seriously, can he?  Cause if Social Network walks away with the Best Pic Oscar on February 27th, which wouldn’t be a shocker or undeserved, why can’t/didn’t Zodiac?????  IT DIDN’T EVEN GET ONE NOMINATION!!!!!!!!!  Doesn’t matter, cause they Academy Awards never get it right.  Always a bunch of make up calls or juss too late on everything and everyone.  See Danny Boyle and his Trainspotting vs him and his gold-statuette minted Slumdog Millionaire as a perfect example

ZODIAC!!!!

And oh yeah, nice to see Zodiac alum John Getz as Zuck’s lawyer!!!

and oh yeah,

ZODIAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Become A Fan: of these Social hotties!!!

Brenda Song

Felisha Terrell (not Owens)

Caitlin Gerard

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

The Network gets wired at a theater near jews this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Moon
A Space Multiplicity Oddity
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Moon is 2001 with a lot more talking, and besides a few video transmissions from Earth, the only voices we hear are Kevin Spacey‘s, as a monotone robot (big stretch for him), and Sam Rockwell‘s, and… Sam Rockwell’s (a steak sandwich, and a steak sandwich?). You hear Rockwell’s twice cause there ends up being two of Sam’s character in Duncan Jones‘ feature debut (we won’t explain why there are two cause where’s the fun in that?). So lettuce hope yer a big fan of Rockwell, and if you are, yer in for a treat cause as always, he rocks well, but this time twice as rocking… well! Jones is the son of David Bowie, the man who made space travel sound so lonely with his song about Major Tom, and like father, he’s made his own desolate space oddity, visually, and visually stunning at that. The sets, costumes, machinery, et al, owe a lot of debt to the original odyssey of 2001, + all of its 70s imitators, and it’s this throwback aesthetic that makes Moon stand out from today’s other space flicks. The poster even launches higher than most others, so eat it Space Cowboys and Apatow, who will probably make a space ‘comedy’ starring Ken Jeong about the first disgruntled Asian-American in space. Anywho, Moon‘s a trip, and spooky and mesmerizing, and kinda a make-up call for the fun, but bumpy ride that was the cinematic version of Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

Tell Me Wife I Love Her Very Much She Knows: Rockwell’s Earth wife is played by cutie pie mcgee and apparently mcelligott Dominique McElligott

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Food, Inc.
There Will Be Beef
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle was a revelation. Food, Inc is not (neither was the movie version of talking head Eric Schlosser’s Fast Food Nation). What, you didn’t know that the meat produced in this country is disgusting, from the way they ( ‘they’ being a handful of companies that ‘control’ the ‘industry’) feed the animals, to the way they treat them, to the way they slaughter them, to the way they process the meat, to the way they hire poor immigrant laborers to improperly handle it, to the way they have their hands all up in the pockets of the government (name one industry that doesn’t), to the way it finally gets packaged and sent to our grocery stores and restaurants and ultimately into our mouths? It has to get there somehow, doesn’t it? Sure it’s gross, and of course there are better ways to deliver quality and safe meats, as the movie points out, but to be brutally honest, we don’t care. If it aint baroque, don’t fix it. We mean, we don’t care if 34893294 zillion chickens had to be tortured in order to make fried chicken taste so forkin good. Seriously. Sure, we’re in the wrong here, but like with Super Size Me, all the doc did was reinforce our love of the meat that we’re already being force-fed. To hell with Apatow, cause we’ll eat it ourselves!

2 Die For: this probably needs to be updated a bit (Amy Ruth’s > Ms Mamie’s Spoonbread), but long live our Places To Eat B4 U Die list, which is loaded with greasy spoon spots that use gross meat. so be it!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Moon opens today in NY/LA only, while Food does the same + eats it in SF as well

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…