Fappers and Philosophers

The Curious Case of
Benjamin Button

Sew What?
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Yes, the idea of reverse aging is engaging. Yes, the special effects were both special and effective. Yes, the whole thing was gorgeous that we us gorged on it. Yes, that was one of the mos paramount uses of the Paramount logo (outside of Indiana Jones land). Yes, David Fincher is a Goliath of directing (and yes, he made the greatestestest movie of 2007). Butttz his ambitious 2008 project is simply that, ambitious and too much more. We hath questions. Why o’ y did it take 17 years in Tibet to tell a love story between a normally aging female (Cate Blanchett) and Mr Button (Brad Pitt), who’s slowly headed to diaperdom? Who’s able to invest any emotion in the said love story when mold grows on yer taint by the time where we’re actually suppose to invest our emotions? Movie needs a bailout more than GM. There’s too much sense-non leading up to that cruxy bit where our age-crossed lovers finally meet with Dick Goesinya. What’s that tugboat crap all about? It was more lost at sea than the entire pointlessness of Life Aquatic w/Steve Snoozesoo. Why does Buttons wastes his time and ours by trying to bed Wes Anderson? How comes the dude who got strucks by lightening 7 times has a life 7 times more curious than Benji? What’s the story with throwing Hurricane Katrina into the story? Where’s Julia Ormond been all our lives? How is it that Elle Fanning is slowly becoming a betterer version of her sister Dakota? Why did the guy who wrote the screenplay for Forrest Gump basically write a not as good Forrest Gump, and in turn toss aside the juicy elements from F Scott Fitz’s original short story? Wasn’t this movie better when it was called Big Fish (a thighly underrated flick)? How come we never get an explanation as to Ben’s backwards ways? Why didn’t Fincher juss make this a 90 minute movie and make Zodiac a 19 hour movie? And moist importantly, what has Kuato been doings to pass the thyme in between his Total Recall and Curious gigs?

The Watch, Man!: you’ll be more entertained by looking at this classic backwards Goofy watch (a watch we once owned as a kid) than by watching Ben Butt age backwards

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Ben B is currently playing at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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