Peace The Forks Out

to

Jonathan Demme

&

Don Rickles

&

Joanie Cunningham

+

LAST PERSON BORN IN THE 1800s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zen and then

Cuba Gooding Sr

Charlie Murphy

THAT GUY!!!

she Cherie Amoured

Boston stick man

Dan Rooney

Bulls architect 

manager Sandy

Quiz Show izler

James Rosenquist

does compute

she put the WE and I in REI

he cooked anarchy

he sported life

Chucky Gong

Inspector Morse creator

he made March madder

1st Philly WS winning manager

Bonnie Grape

he took the rainbow away from straight people

David Letterman’s mom

she laughed, in and out

Roland with the home boys

his angel was a centerfold

indie producer

hung, over

Groundlingser

some British actor

baseball lady

a Rockefeller

soup heiress

John Lennon’s BFF

and

Girls, which means no more naked Lena Dunham

(for now, but PLEASE, go away forever)

Jodie Foster (right) - I was thinking what a dumb thing it was to put my sister in an outfit to be my double in Taxi Driver. The child-welfare bureau had decided that a 12-year-old playing a part with such sexuality was a problem and insisted on a double for any shots that were physically suggestive. So my mom said: ‘I’ve got a great idea. Why don’t we bring your sister?‘ But honestly, what did that accomplish? Did they think that I was too young to understand the script; that I couldn’t delineate between being a prostitute and a regular person? But it was a really good excuse to have my sister hanging out with me in New York

Connie Foster (left) – I do remember thinking, Wow, my baby sister looks all grown up. She looks like me, even though there’s a seven-year age difference. I was not self-conscious in any way, shape or form. It was really what a young prostitute on the streets was wearing at that time. If anything, it was Halloween, and we were dressed up

photos by Steve Schapiro | interviews by Kathy Ryan

 

Elysium
Trading Spaces
Official Website | Trailers & Mo 
R | 109 min

Dude, how hugo AND boss was Neill Blomkamp‘s District 9???  SO HUGO!   SO BOSS!!  A smart sci-fi flick that felt fresh and new, and not only won over the nerds, but also the normal peoples, the critics and even the Academy Awards (FOUR NOMINATIONS!!).  So how is Neilllliel Blomkampspopop ever gonna follow something like that up?  No District 10, for now, and the man couldn’t make a Halo movie happen, and he even passed on helming Star Trek.  So he made up Elysium, a tale from the year 2154!!  And he’s got Matt Damon AND Jodie Foster on board, AND A SPACE WORLD THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THOSE CRAZY SEXY COOL NASA’S SPACE COLONY ART THINGS FROM THE 1970S!!!  OMG, HOW IS THIS NOT GOING TO BE THE GREATESTTESTEST MOVIE EVER!???!??!??!

 

It isn’t/wasn’t

That sucks.  It really does, cause we expected so much, but still, even if Elysium is no District 10, it’s STILL head and shoulders and thighs above a bunch of other sci-fi bad future garbage movies.  OK, so we tend to say that about plenty movies – finding them good when compared to garbage movies – but we really liked Elysium, but just wish it was the be-all and end-all, instead of a solid-ish poor vs rich on land and in space movie that seemed to rush itself to a conclusion that wasn’t all that conclusive

There are two problems

Problem #1 – there’s no real drama, even though it feels like there’s drama going on in the movie.  In the beginning, you meet Matt Damon as an orphaned boy, and his BFF (grown up as Alice Braga), and he pledges to her that one day they will leave earth and go to Elysium – that place orbiting earth where the rich live far from earth’s ills, and can cure any ills with a super awesome curing future machine!  Well guess what, grown up Matt Damon is stuck on earth with a crappy job and doesn’t seem to be going to Elysium anytime soon.  But guess what, actually, you don’t have to guess – he will get to Elysium and he was also get Alice Braga there too, even if they haven’t really spoken in years.  So basically there’s predetermined destiny, and all we have to do is watch it happen.  Standing in his way of reaching his goal are bounty-ish hunter Sharlto Copley (no more Mr Nice Guy, like he was in D9), and bidness man William Fichtner and his 9-head, and Jodie Foster, who’s like a J Edgar Hoover of space, and she has a really dumb accent, and basically she’s worthless to this movie.  Helping him are Diego Luna and Wagner Moura, and the script.  But there’s gotta be more to it besides juss getting to Elysium, right?  Well, there’s pressing matters that serve as motivation, but who cares

Problem #2 – Elysium itself.  THIS PLACE IS AWESOME, and yet we spend so little time there before things get going.  Why is this place so awesome?  We know it looks awesome, but all we know about it is that rich people live there, there’s a machine that cures stuff, and Jodie Foster is lame there.  By the time Damon and whomever touch down on the space colony, we don’t even really care.  He could have landed at space Disney World and we would have been more jazzed (imagine Space Mountain… IN SPACE!!!).  Wish there was a prequel to Elysium where we saw it being built and how the first rich people settled there and did rich space things, like bang hot chicks… IN SPACE!!!

But still, it’s mos def Blomkamp’s world, and we’d rather live or visit or be scared of his world than live or visit or be scared of other garbage filmmaker’s bad bad future worlds

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Elysium is inter-mostly-stellar at a theater near jews tonight!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Carnage
Parents Pair-Rants
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 79 min

Watching Roman Polanski‘s Carnage is like watching a stage play, sorta not come to cinematic life as a film play.  Not so sirprizing so, so, so, since it’s based off of Yasmina Reza‘s play God of Carnage, but the play’s the thing, right?  No, it’s not.  But if you enjoy the talents and talkings of Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz and John C Reilly, then you will probably take away some enjoyment in their talents and talkings in Carnage

So what’s all the yapping & fussing about between these four Oscar-de-baiters?  Winslet & Waltz (hmm, that sounds like a really fab name for a musical duo!)’s son smacked Foster & Reilly (hmmm, that sounds like a really nifty name for a realty company!)’s son’s face with a stick, so the four ‘rational’ parents need to suss things out like civilized peoples.  Things from there get pouty, then shouty, then tipsy, then vomity, while all feeling way too play-y.  But the play’s the thing, right?  How many times do we have to answer this?

moral of the story:  all four actors ham it up in their own way, and it’s fun, even if it’s all too theater-y, but still, would you rather pay $80+ to see this on Broadway or $7.94 to see it in the greatest physical forum of human entertainment – the movie theater?  Here’s yer answer – EAT IT THEATER!!!!

This:

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Carnage car-rages in NY & LA this Friday, and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…