Reading Is Fundamentalist
07. Jun, 2004 
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– I was pulling for the heteroflexible Calgary Flames to pull off the victory last night, but in the end it was the Dave Andreychuk-led, sorry-a$$ eggscuse for a franchise, Tampa Bay Lightning who ended up drinking from Lord Stanley’s cup of bacteria. On a side note, here are some of my favorite hockey player names ever: Keith Tkachuk, Zarley Zalapski, Hakkan Loob, and Uwe Krupp.
– 8th graders say the darndest thangs. Like this one lil Nazi in Key Biscane, Florida who wrote “Death To Jews”, German-style, in his school’s yearbook. [Link via Tommy T and The Furious 6]
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– Who’s the coolest Gunther since Gunther Gebel-Williams? Why Gunther Branlutte, of course! Czech out his horrible brand of music that will soon sweep our nation. And attention Lindsay Lohan fans: test your strong wrist muscles on Gunther’s Tra La La fun game. [Semi-NSFW Links via Tim “F%@ker” Altie]
– Nevada Town Enlists Dudes to Smoke Weed. Whoops, I read that headline wrong. Supposed to be: Nevada Town Enlists Goats to Eat Weeds.
– I guess the beds are still burning, cause Midnight Oil frontman, Peter Garrett, is running for spot in the Aussie government. Speaking of freaky looking bald people, me thinks that Garrett and that biker dude who crashed Wyatt and Gary’s party in Weird Science were Bitched @ Swirth aka Switched At Birth:
– Speaking of Oz, the Panty Raider claims that he’s been “living” in Sydney, but we all know that he’s actually the perv-in-dick-ular freak that’s been pocketing Hoosier woman’s bras and panties for over the past two years… and just got caught.
– Finally, to hell with LeVar Burton and his heteroflexible Reading Rainbow. If you really want to get male dudes to read books these days, you gots to offer them prizes delivered by hot bizatches.
