Méliès-y Shady of Winner
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 127 min
So, there’s this orphan kid (Asa Butterfield) who lives and works in the clocks of a Parisian train station. When he’s not being chased by Sacha Baron Cohen with a mustache, he’s trying to re-build Bicentennial man. When he’s not doing that, he’s stealing stuff from cranky ole toymaker Ben Kingsley. When he’s not doing that, he’s hanging out with Kingsley’s ‘daughter’ Chloë Moretz, who is way too
mature hot for being a 14 year old. 399393939 movie hours pass of them two kids running around, causing minor mischief and making endless lil ragamuffin faces, while also borrowing books from Christopher Lee, and listening to a bearded Michael Stuhlbarg talk about his boner for pioneer filmmaker Georges Méliès
Wait, what does Méliès have to do with all this? Well ya see, Kingsley is not only a cranky ole toymaker, but HE’S ALSO GEORGES MÉLIÈS!!!! But he doesn’t care about movies anymore, CAUSE OF WORLD WAR and MOVIES BEING TURNED INTO SHOES or something, but the kids care and so does his wife (Helen McCrory) and so does Martin Scorsese, who turns the last brilliant third of this movie into a love letter to early cinema AND a giant PSA for film preservation!!
moral of the story: it’s a kid’s movie where all the great stuff is about the adults. the kids stuff should have been thrown out the window and this baby shoulda been all about Méliès, cause Kingsley hands in a f#$king crowning achievement performance as the cinemagician. also, there should have been a naughty sex scene between SB Cohen and Emily Mortimer. also, the 3-D is not as great as everyone’s making it to be. also, they should have cut out 98% of the kids stuff and replaced it with 3-D clips of how hot Louise Brooks was, or maybe with some modern 3-D hotness like this!
Toying Around: art imitates life
Verdictgo: last third is beyond breast in show, but the first two-thirds keeps it a Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers
Hugo is quasi-moto-awesome currently in a theater near jews
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
but before we go, imagine if Asa and Kodi Smit-McPhee switched Chloë movies!!! LET THIS IN!!!