Tag Archives: Bates Motel

Marion Crane Operator

not sure they hand out Emmy awards for such a category, but…

Rihanna as Marion Crane on Bates Motel should win mos Outstanding Lead Wet Breasteses in a Drama Series mt EVERbreast!

btw – the show is SOOOO dang fine.  they took something sacred, made it sorta their own, but honored the original material thru and thru


Thighs Wide Telly 2016

oh man, that TV stuff in 2016!!!

1. The People vs OJ Simpson (FX)

paulson hair

left a PERManent 90s stain on my psyche 

(please note – I didn’t get a chance to watch the ESPN doc series on OJ yet):


2. The Americans (FX)

poor poor Martha Hanson


3. Baskets (FX)

louie anderson baskets

Louie Anderson – BIGGEST comeback of the 21st Century!!!


4. Murder Made Me Famous (REELZ)

a who’s who of horrible human beings – Jodi Arias, Scott Peterson, The Menendez Brothers, Drew Peterson, Ted Bundy, Joran van der Sloot, Pamela Smart, Jean Harris, Billionaire Boys Club, The Preppy Killer, Steven Avery, Charles Manson.  sure, the news is old, but the reenactments are fresh – and I friggin love reenactments!!!  also, the Steve Avery one had me throw out any sympathy that I had formed from watching Making of a Murderer!!!  also, I could listen to Steve Helling talk ALL DAY


5 & 6. Gotham (Fox) & Supergirl (CBS/CW)

supergirl show

(still) amazing how DC heroes are done OH so right on the small screen, and OH so wrong on the big screen

7. Younger (TV Land)

this is basically TV’s best kept secret.  Sutton Foster and her teefy smile are infectious!

8. Shameless (Showtime)

a show I truly hate to watch, cause I always feel the need to take 82929 showers after watching it, but I cannot quit on the Gallaghers, especially now that the little kids are coming into their own, and so is Kevin (above) and his shorter hair!

9. Bates Motel (A&E)

the show inches closer and closer to the Norman Bates we all know and love, while creating the Norman Bates we never knew anything about.  sad that the upcoming season will be its final one 

10. Halt and Catch Fire (AMC)

even more ones and zeroes, and four of my favorite TV HEROES!!!!

11. Drunk History (Comedy Central)

more Rich Fulcher please!

12. Fresh Off The Boat (ABC)


making broadcast TV comedies fun again, and again!  probably my favorite modern TV family

other solid forms of entertainments: 

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver – it was all a lot of fun AND games, until his efforts to stop Trump were in vain, and I couldn’t watch the show anymore

The Circus – fantastic and immediate election season show was a must watch, although I still haven’t brought myself to watch the final episode.  gasp

The Affair – so so so soo soo excellent that it made me eat Lunch

Maron – nice ending to a show that didn’t seem to have a beginning

Silicon Valley – still my favorite cast on TV

The Last Man Earth – still my 2nd favorite cast on TV

Married At First Sight 4 – finally, some of the people found love

Veep – incredible how the insane politics of this show were outdone by the real insane politics of 2016!

Married by Mom and Dad – what a great bad idea.  its heart is in the right place, even if the hearts don’t end up in the right place

Tyrant – the show ran out of steam, and I was basically done with it once Ashraf Barhom was done

Fargo  – I hope they keep farGOING and GOING!!!

Modern Family – it’s like they’re trying too hard to be funny, and it shouldn’t have to be that way

House of Cards – OMG – the Russian guy is really Mads Mikkelsen’s brother!!!

Game of Thrones – still not as good as HBO’s Rome

Million Dollar Listing New York – I’m sold on Fredrik, Ryan and Luis

Mistresses – so long, goodbye, don’t let your awfulness hit you on the way out

Restaurant Startup – Joe is still an a$$hole, and Tim Love still has giant eyes, and I still cannot miss an episode

11/22/63 – they need to travel back in time and remake the series without James Franco!

Girls – this show needs an abortion from itself

+ bone-yessss!! moments

long live Mrs Garrett

mrs g

the BUZZR channel. it’s what the Game Show Network used to be!

orson paul masson

Richard Dreyfuss as Madoff!


MTV Classic – what MTV was, and needs to be

guessing the Twin Peaks 2017 characters!!

goldie ball

when New York City’s in trouble – who you gonna call? Pat Kiernan!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Growing Pains goes to Europe! and Family Matters goes to Disney World!

old stars tv mcdonalds

They Fcuked With The Babysitter

hulk bruce


sweetin solo

the 30 for 30 on the first pitch after 9/11

baton side

The Double Dare Reunion!  LONG LIVE HARVEY!!!

The Unknown Flag Raiser of Iwo Jima – rights history’s wrong, AND employed the retired Gene Hackman to tell us!


when Adrien Brody channeled Andrew Dice Clay – which may have been my favorite TV moment of 2016

Debbie Gibson goes Hallmark and gives us an awesome acoustic ‘Only In My Dreams’

and this!!!


it growing pains me to say goodbye to all these amazing people :(




john mac


mr ed


judy jetson


morley chucjles


patty hair


shandling hand


ken howard tv guide


larry draje




don david dobs guns



+ hail & farewell to…

Charles Osgood on our televisions on Sunday mornings



Vin Scully calling Dodgers games



perv-iously ’15 ’14 ’13 ’12 ’11 ’10 ’09 ’07


The Resolution Will Be Televised

TV is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

bates motel look

bates motel look2

bates motel look3

Tracy Spiridakos’ boobies make Norman want to master Bates Motel 


the Eels’ ‘Fresh Blood’ aka, the theme from The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst

roxxxxx so hard, and gives me the heeby jeebies!!!


the unfriendly faces that Tim Love & Joe Bastianich make on Restaurant Startup, aka my favorite show on television!!!!!!

restaurant starup faces 3

restaurant starup faces 2   restaurant starup faces 6

restaurant starup faces 5

restaurant starup faces 4

restaurant starup faces

but sometimes they smile!!

restaurant starup


Thighs Wide Telly 2013

TV is the new Jesus.  In 2013, it was totally TVeesus!!!!  here’s our picks for bestestestiest TVeesus shows done shown (that we done watched)

1. Drunk History (Comedy Central)

drunk history

I want to be 12 years a slave to this TV show, which combines my two greatest loves that aren’t food or the Nationals or my soon to be wife – comedy and history (not so much a fan of drunkards, but happy to make the exception here!).  And the actors all deserve 8312888 emmys for their sync work with the blottoed narrators!


2. Maron (IFC)

 maron gif

MARON!!!! it’s like Louie, but kinda sorta less depressing!!!

3. Under The Dome (CBS)

under the dome

Feels like the 90s all over again, with TV dishing out quality Stephen King mini-series mini-scares week after week.  Dome is the best since It, even if it is nowhere as awesome as It

4. Shameless (Showtime)


TV’s most audaciously outrageously slimy AND fun show… that no one loves, talks or cares about it.  shamemore on you!

5. Bates Motel (A&E)

bates motel

somewhere Alfred Hitchcock is NOT turning over in his grave, as this is sacrilege finally done right!   

6. Vice (HBO)

rodman n korea

it’s kinda what 60 Minutes needs to be more like, cept the show could do without the hipster correspondents.  still – each story is VITAL, and none was more compelling than when they sent Dennis Rodman to North Korea

7. Hannibal (NBC)

hannibal mads

I’m mads mads for Mads Mikkelsen as Hannibal.  Anthony Hopkins who?


8. Arrested Development (Netflix)


tobias 2

Full Mental Tobias.  Terry Crews out-of control.  The intertwining episodes took much much thought and planning, and it all paid off, in spades and our hearts.  Just wish I didn’t have to watch it on a computer

9. Princesses Long Island (Bravo)

princess cry 

if Jews truly controlled the media, would they ever let this show air?  it sets back Judaism 5774 years, and somehow I couldn’t turn away from it

10. The Big C: Hereafter (Showtime)

big c

a very sweet hereafter

11. The Client List (Lifetime)

client list pies

where you can wear your cake AND eat it too.  Can’t believe they axed a show where off screen hand jobs totally did their job

12. Joe Rogan Questions Everything (Syfy)

robot joe rogem

it’s like a ghetto Unsolved Mysteries, with Joe Rogan talking loud and making amazing wide-eyed faces.  FEAR THE ROBOTS!!!

other solid forms of entertainments: Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel (5 real!), Eastbound & Down (not the greatest of swan songs, but live for Stevie Janowski), Masters of Sex (a bit behind on this one, but smart and sexy + Beau Bridges = WE’RE ALL IN!!), Breaking Bad (glad it’s over, so the tweets ended too), Newsroom (we chewed on Grace Gummer), Mad Men (the acting or the scripts are SO bad, but can decide on which), An Idiot Abroad 3 (anything with Warwick Davis is appointment watching), Elementary (Natalie Dormer!!!!  but not naked, booooooo!!!), Portlandia (manic, but sharp), Homeland (F MURRAY ABRAHAM AND MANDY BEARD IT OUT!!!), The Office (Michael Scott returned and we cried), Boardwalk Empire (miss you already Richard Harrow), Enlightened (the lovable losers lost), Veep (veep on veeping on), The Americans (we love all things Russian), Dallas (no more JR, and somehow it still works), Undercover Boss (how does the employees NOT know they’re on the show???), Burning Love (THE MALE CAST OF SEASON 3, OMG!!!), Ray Donovan (awful accents, but helLA fun), Modern Family (best standard comedy going),  The Carrie Diaries (love high school shows, but there’s TOO much sex talk for a high school show on this high school show), House of Cards (so Fincher moody!), Dexter (even if they should have ended it a season ago), Girls (I watch it for the boys), SNL (Cecily weak) & American Horror Story (almost TOO batshit crazy to watch) 

+ bone-yes moments

everything in front of Behind The Candelabra, but mostly Rob Lowe’s face

rob lowe candlelabra

– Limitless Paper In A Paperless World

Colbert gets unlucky


The Yummy Awards

Saved By The Belding


I’ll Take The Mother of My Children For $400 Alex

 Lazy Eye

CBS and Time Warner Cable hate their customers.  thanks for NOTHING a$$holes

 wait, there was a Dirty Dancing TV show??

– how fcuking good the casting and music video recreations were in Crazy Sexy Cool: The TLC Story

tlc video

 one of the greatest commercials of all time(/my childhood)

– stop pretending that the VMAs matter

 Sharknado, not that awful, even though it’s awful

 Topanga The Mok!!!!!!!!!!!

 Third Reichers Island






fair thee well to those who have passed on, leaving a lumpy in our throat…

james gan


Jean Stapleton


slough office


edna k


pat summ


jonathan winters




the boat from The Love Boat




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