Miles Aldridge

The Hunt
Feely Touching
Official Website | Trailers & Mo 
R | 115 min

First, let me get this out of the way - Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen! Mads Mikkelsen!

Yep, we’re mad for Mads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why?  Cause Mads Mikkelsen is the greatest Danish actor of his generation (sorry Viggo Mortensen), and maybe ever (I can’t name any more Danish actors).  Danish people have known this for awhile, and now the rest of the world is madly falling for Mads.  He caught most of our eyes with bleeding eyes in Casino Royale with cheese, and sold me even more when his Igor got Coco-ed, and cemented my heart fo life when he did the impossible and made Hannibal Lecter his own on TV’s Hannibal.  There is nothing Mads cannot do, besides maybe play someone who isn’t awesome, cause it’s impossible for someone so awesome to play someome so unawesome

In Thomas Vinterberg‘s The Hunt, Mads is someone who is awesome, and everyone knows it, but then something supposedly happens and then everyone in his small town doesn’t think he’s so awesome, but they’re wrong, cause that thing that supposedly happened didn’t and Mads is innocent and awesome until proven otherwise.  So what is this thing that happens?  Mads is an elementary school teacher who loves his students.  One of them, Klara (Annika Wedderkopp), a daughter of a dear friend, takes a real liking to him.  One day she gives her teacher a little kiss and teacher Mads explains that that’s not what little girls should do, so the little girl is quite upset by this rejection by her teacher (who wouldn’t be – this is MADS we’re talking about) and in the midst of her mad/sadness tells the principal that Mads is a bad man and then the principal starts thinking bad thoughts of a male teacher and his female student and one thing leads to another and now the town’s in mass Mads hysteria and starts accusing poor Mads of doing even more bads .  WHY DO YOU DO THIS DANISH TOWNSPEOPLE????  THIS IS MADS!!!  HE WOULD ONLY HURT OR TOUCH PEOPLE THAT DESERVE TO BE HURT OR TOUCHED!!!  LIKE JAMES BOND!!!!

Where does it go from here?  More bads for Mads.  But what if Mads get cleared of his bads, will he ever truly be in the clear, or be forever hunted?  Pray for the prey, and see Mads hand in one of the year’s best performances. DO IT AND GO MADS!!!

MADSSSSSSSSSSSS-NESSS!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

This Hunt is on in NY/LA tomorrow and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

the best movies are the ones that permanently instill images on yer brain for life, but sometimes the images are not eggzactly things you really want imprinted on yer brain for life, even of the movie is phenomenal

take Oliver Stone’s BRILLIANT and jarring JFK for example.  and no, we’re not talking about the endless shots of our 35th President getting plugged in the head, back and to the left, repeat, repeat, repeat.  wees talking about the gayest and creepiest gayest and scariest gayest scene in a movie that we’ve ever did done did seen…

this is the orgy scene where Clay Shaw (Tommy Lee Jones) and David Ferrie (Joe Pesci) and ‘Willie O’Keefe’ (Kevin Bacon) get all Barry Lyndon and FTD florist guy dressed up and do blow and blow each other, and it remains THE gayest AND creepiest gayest AND scariest gayest scene in a movie that we’ve ever EVER EVVVVVVVVER done did did seen, ever.  we saw this when we were 14 and haven’t seen anything creepyscarygayer than this, AND DON’T WANT TO (although we did walk out of Fellini’s Satyricon, which was plenty gay, but we walked out of the movie mainly cause it sucks).  in fact, if I WERE gay (we’re actually only 1/16th gay IRL), I’d probably keep myself from being gay cause this JFK orgy scene scared me straight fo life.  hooray for boobs!

lesson? no idea, but if I ever do run into a shirtless golden Tommy Lee Jones in my travels, I’m gonna slit my eyes out and cut off my penis

I love Maron

(the TV show.  I know nothing of podcasts)

and moister importantlyer

Nora Zehetner

so adorable that she need not even open her eyes!

she’s a thinking man’s Rachel Bilson

and we forget all about after we fell in love with her in Brick, and then remembered her when she stalked Maron on Maron, and now we wish she would stalk us  

oh, and

we also love this guy 

Josh Brener

who’s like a nerdier, goofier littlerer Griffin Dunne

Maron!!!!!

This Is The End
Smarmageddon
Official Website | Trailers & Mo 
R | 107 min

OMG, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride and Craig Robinson plays themselves, in a movie!!!!  And in this movie, the world is being destroyed, but these guys survive, and they act as… themselves!!  And they’re stuck at James Franco’s house, which means we’re stuck with them.  And they think they’re so funny, so we’re forced to listen to their think they’re so funny jokes, that aren’t really that funny.  OK, so any time Danny McBride opens his mouth, or even lifts his eyebrows, we smile and laugh, but all that gets overshadowed by how much we could care less about Jay Baruchel, or minus-one note Seth Rogen, who co-wrote/directed this thing, by expanding his and Jay’s 2007 short film/trailer into something so over-long and over-done you truly wish the movie theater you were sitting in would get destroyed too.  Ugh.  Snooze.  But if you think Seth Rogen’s the funniest man since the last funny man who wasn’t that funny was the funniest man, then by all means, go see this movie that makes ‘funny’ rape jokes about Emma Watson, or drinking your own pee!  OK, so Michael Cera playing a crazy version of Michael Cera was pretty funny, but he leaves the film too soon and yer juss left with Jay Baruchel being Jay Baruchel and no one wants to see that, cept for apparently Seth Rogen, and probably Jay Baruchel’s parents

Verdictgo: Very Little Merit But No Stinkin Badges

This Is The End has no beginning or end in a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…