You’ll Love It At Joseph Gordon-Levitz

High School Confidential
View Trailer (one of the breast I’ve seen in the ’06)


I know you watch The OC, or used to watch it. And I know you know that show totally has no value, unless value is weighed by MILFs, Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows, and every band that has once graced the linkages of Stereogum. Well lets say that one day The OC woke up and decided to pay homage to about 11 film noir classics, replaced Adam Brody with that soon to be minor-major Hollywood playa kid from Third Rock (you MUSS see him in Mysterious Skin), Rachel Bilson with a thinking man’s Rachel Bilson (the berry yummilcious Nora Zehetner), and cast Lukas Haas as a local drug kingpin, for no good reason, other than the fact that I’m sure his schedule was clear, and dude, he’s fucking in the Haaaaaaaaas!!! Sounds like a completely pretentious hodgey-podgey mish-mash, eh? Well, it aint the perfectedness that is Basement Jaxx’ Kish Kash, but who eggspects perfectednessness from a flick with an estimated budget of .5 mil!! Sure, some of the actors may have been cast by picking names out of a hat, and okay, the movie’s hepcat slanguage can be more daunting than anything written in Nadsat, and aiiiight, the plot may be more all over the place than a Wesley Willis/Daniel Johnston duet, but this moody lil ’05 Sundance fav kept my interest from start to finish, and the same can’t be said for a lot of the crap that’s been released this year, hispecially for a certain movie I know that starts with V and is crapdetta on wheels.

Recommended for those who like: urban, Sally Bowles, the female droog, and Heidi Fleiss’ nephew

Possible Porno Name: Laying Pipe, Laying Brick, Smoke My Cock, Lick My Prick

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix one of the only watchable Robert Altman flicks, The Long Goodbye

Apt MPupil3: ‘Sycamore Trees’ by Jimmy Scott & Angelo Badalamenti from the Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me soundtrack [d]

Did You Know: that Nora Z has died in two movies by way of neck?

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): has a bit more merit than some, so Jeepers Worth A Peepers

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