We haven’t read a single word of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight book series, but after all the hype, hoopla and hullabaloo that oozes from it and the mammoth box office bucks earned from its subsequent film release, how could we not jump in and see what all the hot fuss is all about? And based off of our mos enjoyable experience with the cinematic equivalent, we may have to revisit and revise our first statement… if only we had time to, somewhere in between the 5 weekly magazines subscriptions we never get thru every 7 days (Time, Time Out NY, New York, EW and SI… luckily Latin Inches and Highlights aint weekly reads!!!). Then again, we may not want to since it’s sometimes nice to be sirprized when you don’t know what lies in the characters’ futures (same thing we’re doing w/Harry Potter, although the movies can never capture the all too many goings on goings on in the novels). Guess we’ll have to avoid this graffiti spoiler-filled poster at the 23rd Street–Ely Avenue E/V subway station then, eh?
For those not in the know, Twilight covers a lot of the same ground that HBO’s True Blood does, where our innocent young heroine (here Kristen Stewart, in her best, least annoying role yet) falls for a forever young vamp beefcake (Harry Potter & The Goblet of Hotness‘ Robert Pattinson), who’s trying to keep the lady safe from danger (with a lotta help from his pasty-white family, led by Jennie Garth‘s hubby Peter Facinelli), especially from other blood lusty vamps (that slimy troublemaker Volchok dude from The OC!) including himself. Spankfully, Twilight is free of True Blood‘s funny accents (which are starting to make our blood boil more than those endless ‘saved by 0%‘ ads), and cause it’s aimed at the hearts of younger girls, there aint no gratuitous violence/sex to be found. It was a wise move that they hired Catherine Hardwicke to helm this mother, cause she’s a proven pro at playing with the emotions that come with tough young love. If you’ve seen her Thirteen yous knows what we speak of (+ yer also probably having second thoughts about having children). She may not hit toothy vampire home runs (even with the odd scene where the vamp fam plays ball) like Joel Schumacher did with The Lost Boys (one of his only good movies, EVER), but her steady holding-handiwork with the misfits kids gettin all gooey-eyed makes this one of better teen flicks to come out in some years, so eat that Nick and Norah and your infinite lameness!
Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers
Wait, there’s another film out there about love and vampires? Yeppers, but this one’s even morerer differenter than the others cause it’s about kids, IN SWEDEN!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah! Let The Right One In only gots one vampire in it, a little girl (Lina Leandersson), and when she moves into a new apartment complex, her thirst for blood starts making the neighbors disappear and our lil lonely protagonist’s (Kåre Hedebrant) heart grow founder. The film, outside of this one crazy cool scene with a person ablaze, moves at a snail’s pace and all the vampy feeding time stuff kinda gets in the way of what works best, focusing in on the boy’s solitude and the kids that bully him. His blossoming relationship with the little girl is mos certainly touching, but the whole enchilada coulda had more bang for its buck had it played out with less fang
Verdictgo: low end Jeepers Worth A Peepers
Twilight and Let The Right One In are already playing in theaters, but if yer sick of the vamps, juss stay home and watch Horace scream about Wolfman’s nards
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…