Thighs Wide Shut

this picture purty much surmises what college is all about

lettuce all say it together, ‘Yes we cans!’

there’s nuttin more beautiful than a crisp B-town
October day with the fall foliage in fall effect, yo!

…well, perhaps being the meat in between
an Eva Amurri breast sangwich

nice profile pic Bob!

Bob, the future called & they want their horrid pair of specs back

there’s a first time for everything

like having new taste and fart sensations caused by the
beyond yumazingness of Hinkle’s hamburgers

the writing was on the wall

and tits true, cause KJ is such a tease dick

didn’t take any shrooms

but wanted you to see what B’ton would look like on em!

do not be fooled by the diversity in this picture

as that is the only Asian & pair o’ black girls
currently in the state of Indiana

this new slide that they installed on
the side of the library was purty wicked

but afterwardz, it kinda left us down in the dumps

OK, prepare to have a seizure or vomit on your keyboard

you were warned. sort of

3 ranch sauces are never enuff

esp since we’re gunning to become
the 2nd person arrested for farting

we like munching boxes

and the contents within

cheese stix = cheese shitz

are we licking ranch sauce or drooling it?

praise Jeebus for inventing ranch sauce!

and praise whomever wrote this book

if only ‘I Heart Ranch Dressing’ was the new ‘I Heart NY’

and praise these white guys

who are the only thing whiter than ranch sauce

and praise these $2 shirts of our ex-B-ball coach

that should be sent to Nicaragua
along with the Pats Super Bowl tees

and praise this scary looking guy(?)

who isn’t as cool as fellow IU swimmer Mark Spitz

this is what a dishwasher looks like in college

free lemonade!

and when fate throws Michael Winslow
(the Police Academy dude who makes the noises)
your way

you have to catch it and/or tackle(berry) it

and spank the Messiah of Ranch Sauce that we did
cause he’s the effin bestestetsstst/sweatiestest ever!

czech out this Star Wars bit he does
and peas go see him when he hits yo town

oh bless you college

where the a$$es are forever young

Sleaze Bo hadn’t been back in 10 years

but he didn’t fear
like Stephen Frears
looking into a mirror

even though things change
the song always remains the same

so gawd bless today’s students
for making a stand about those who do not stand!

Cliff Engle sweater fever will never die

and when I die I want to be buried in this sweater

and for your weak a$$ paint job

I will fist hump you!!

there was plenty of monkey bidness abound

a gorilla suit?
no, a gibbon suit!

poor Jeff Katz




although how can we feel bad
when every man who pee’s at Nick’s
will know his name and apparently the status of his cock

no one can stop my Masthole

or my a$$hole after eating everything but White Caslte

speaking of my toxic gas

the Village Pantry has
les bestest chicken salad sangwhich
in da land

and the Cresent

made me moon
as in pullin down me pants
and poop the 27839123478 donuts I inhaled
with pleasure!

mouth wide shut?
NEVER

for when it comes to eating
I’m the #1 slut

to you this Buffa Louie gooeyness may look gross

but to me, I say it’s art
and that you my friend are the one who’s morose!