You love Wes Anderson’s Rushmore. Of course you do. A sequel will never EVER happen, but what if there was another movie pairing Herman Blume (Bill Murray) & Rosemary Cross (Olivia Williams), but instead of them being Herman Blume & Rosemary Cross, they were FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt? What if I told you that this movie ALSO included hand jobs (but spankfully not ones given to or from Eleanor Roosevelt)? Well, that’s sorta what Roger Michell‘s Hyde Park On Hudson is, with some FDR cousin (Laura Linney) loving & royal visiting from those blokes from The King’s Speech (Bertie stuttered here by Samuel West & the not so mum Queen mum by Olivia Colman) tossed in. This movie is barely a movie, as the plot is basically whether or not the King of England will eat a hot dog or not, but this barely movie is totally watchable, cause Billy Murray as FDR getting mad action while not being able to use his legs is totally watchable. Doesn’t that sound totally watchable?
We don’t go into directorial debuts by actors with a roll of the eyes, we go in with eyes wide open (we actually do that with every movie now), cause who knows, maybe they’ve got talent… or maybe they should juss stick to their day job. Clint Eastwood remains the pacesetter. Even actors we can’t stand like George Clooney have proven more than capable. Even someone like Madonna, who isn’t much of an actress, gave it a shot, and while most loathed her Filth & Wisdom, we found it lithe & not so dumb! So why shouldn’t Mark Ruffalo give it a go? He knows acting, and always seems to pick good movies to be in (uh, Zodiac?), so why not????
Ruffalo’s Sympathy for Delicious may have an awful name, but it is not awful. It’s not exactly delicious either, but it certainly has a taste! It’s a good ole first try, and a promising sign of Ruff’s skill in the director’s chair, but ultimately its a mess of holy ideals, backed up by a band no one would want to rock out to. The script, about a overly bitter homeless wheelchair-bound man named ‘Delicious’ Dean O’Dwyer (oh, it’s HIS sympathy, eh?) who one day realizes he has the ability to heal others, is inspired, especially since it was written and lead performed by wheelchaired Christopher Thornton, but it aims a lil too high for a film that can’t fully back up its sermon. A priest (Ruffalo) and rock group (headed by a too-over the top Orlando Bloom, backed-up by a too Juliette Lewisish Juliette Lewis, and managed by a too greasy Laura Linney) both take advantage of his unwanted gift for their own ends, and if you’ve ever seen Tommy, you know this won’t exactly end heavenly. So Ruffles couldn’t make a delicious modern Tommy, but he tried and he didn’t fail, and for that, we can sorta take it
Noah Emmerich co-stars as a fellow ironsider, and besides Thorton and Ruffalo, he totally hits his marks. He’s so good at playing a sad sack in an ugly sweater, which should not be confused with ugly nutsacks in a sad sweater
The Wheel Deal: Larry David has never had luck when dealing with the handicap on Curb, and especially those in wheelchairs. here’s a memorable altercation with Mr Thorton over the Cobb salad
Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges
Delicious isn’t eggggzactly so in NY & LA theaters AND on VOD this Friday
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed, but Morgan aint…
Carol Shopgirl Meets World Official Website | Trailers & Mo R | 118 min Love me some Todd Haynes. Love how he can make a movie look like an Edward Hopper painting. He obviously tries to do that time and time again, and I applaud him, and he’s so good at doing it, and cause Edward Hopper is my […]
The Martian Better Off Red (Planet) Official Website | Trailers & Mo PG-13 | 142 min There’s juss something about Matt Damon. Who doesn’t love Matt Damon? Well, if Matt Damon gets stranded on Mars, you root for Matt Damon to do whatever he needs to do to survive and get off Mars. That’s what happens in Ridley Scott‘s movie […]
Spectre Bland, James Bland Official Website | Trailers & Mo PG-13 | 148 min I’m digging the origin digging going on in these Daniel Craig James Bond flicks. Sadly, I’m not fully digging on all of the films. With the 4 Craig flicks – it’s been GREAT! (Casino Royale), then BLAH! (Quantum of Whatever), then HECK YEAH! (Skyfall), and now […]
Trumbo The Brave One Official Website | Trailers & Mo R | 124 min Dalton Trumbo had an awesome name, and an awesome mustache, but his life was far from awesome. Yeah, the man won two Academy Awards for writing screenplays, but the first one he won – had another writer’s name attached to it instead of his, and his […]
Black Mass KICKS MAJOR MASS!!!!!!!!!! Official Website | Trailers & Mo R | 122 min American Hustle basically sucked. Black Mass is the opposite of American Hustle, although the two share a decade, large pompadour hairdos, and strong machismo overacting Above all – Johnny Depp is terrifying as real-life baddie Whitey Bulger. And above that – Depp is udderly […]
every female that appears in a Bond movie is a Bond Girl, and so here be… the Bond Girls of Spectre – Léa Seydoux Madeleine Swann – Monica Bellucci Lucia – Stephanie Sigman Estrella – Adriana Paz Mexican Woman in Lift – Brigitte Millar Vogel – Noemi Krausz Snowboarder #1 – Marie Fee Wohlmuth Snowboarder #6 […]
3 days ago I had no idea who the Govan sisters were, but now I assume they are bimbos with big boobies, and their mother didn’t teach them how to dress. bless them all side boobs & nip slips 9ever!!!!!!!!
11 years in the bag thanks for caring and if you didn’t, here’s what happened in TWS year 11… – on the set & behind the scenes with Vivian Kubrick Goonies Never Stay Dead never 5get – those McSleep hotels that never were!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!! THEY SAY THAT LIGHTNING DOESN’TSTRIKE TWICE, BUT DON’T TELL […]
we somehow cobbled together the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2014 and now, for the only awards that matter… hELlEVENth Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards aka THE THIGHSMANS!!! _ The Trash Humpers Biggest Piece of Humpy Trash Film of the Year!!!!! (aka – somehow a movie with a naked ScarJo ScarBLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Under The Skin dishonrable […]
The Flowqueens of ‘14.5 1) Jodorowsky’s Dune The greatest doc ever made about the greatest film never made, EVER!! So many ‘what if?‘s AND ‘what the f#$k??!!!‘s to shake your head at – 2) Whiplash Dude, WHIPLASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! – 2.5) The Trip to Italy Lightening strikes twice as Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon take their thick shtick to Italy. Hilarity ensues […]
you know the drill – 2014 was so 1014, and 2015 is so gonna be as awesome as 2112 will be. Anywho, The Washington Post does a list thing, and so do we, cause the lord commands it… OUT IN The Ice Bucket Challenge – The Lice Bucket Challenge – Meghan Trainor – Tranny Meagan – LARP – […]
being married kept me away from the movie theatre/theater, and more at home, glued to the good ole boob tube, and that was way OK, cause TV was pretty fraking good in 2014… 1. Married at First Sight (FYI) A reality show that made us believe in love AND reality TV again, and it all felt so real. […]