Tag Archives: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Jews Your Own Adventure

Whatever Works
Seriously, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Woody Allen‘s European vacation, including the savory Match Point, the sultry Vicky Christina Barcelona, the fun poop Scoop, and the best of the lot, the underloved Cassandra’s Dream, was such a rousing success that it made the Griswold’s jaunt to the same continent look like a staycation. We hoped the Woodman’s sojourn would never end, but all good things come in their pants, we mean an end, and it was only a splatter of time before he returned to his native New York and park his paranoia. The question is, would his next NY-centric film continue on this new creative march, or juss be more of the same lameness that pre-littered his passport stamps, likeMelinda and Melinda, Small Time Crooksand anything else that was similar to Anything Else. And the answer is… same lameness

The pairing of Larry David and Allen, for his 40th gig as a writer/director, seemed like a stroke of genius, so how then did the finished product turn out to be such a whiff? Slain and pimple, Whatever Works doesn’t really work. It’s mildly amusing, but devoid of any real laffs, even if you wait the entire movie in vain for em. The script was supposedly an old one (is that why it feels so dated?) he had written with Zero Mostel in mind, but Mostel died before he could get it in motion, and it’s probably for the best, as it leaves the wonderful Front as the two’s only cinematic collaboration. David, who’s not really an actor, does a fine enuff job as misanthrope Boris Yellnikoff, but the role, basically a more perturbed version of Allen’s usual nervous nelly screen persona, doesn’t seem to fit into the world that the rest of the movie’s characters live in. Them other characters are sunny and delightful, and the actors playing them try their best with what they’re given. There’s Evan Rachel Wood, basically doing an Amy Adams impression as Boris’ southern Lolita belle Melodie St. Ann Celestine, Patricia Clarkson, as Wood’s conservative mother turned sexually awakened artist, Ed Begley Jr, as her uptight dad who has his own sexual awakening, and The Tudors‘ dreamboat Henry Cavill, who tries to steal Melodie away from Boris. Christopher Evan Welch also gets to show his face after playing the part of VCB‘s narrator. Yet w/o Boris in the picture, the film wouldn’t even be mildly amusing, it would be z-musing, as in snoozzzzzzzzzzzzzzze fest ’87

So, what happened here? Did Woody loose his resurgent mojo on the flight back to JFK? It’s kinda hard to question a man who puts something new out each and every year, even if it doesn’t exactly feel new. Spankfuly, for his next joint Woody’s going back to the old country, and dragging Kidman, Watts, Brolin, Hopkins and Pinto along with him. We haven’t given up completely on his ability to churn out quality NY stories, so for now we’ll juss say, cheerio, but be back soon!

Goying With Our Emotions: NY Mag has a nice little article about the dying brand of Jewish humor that Woody and Larry bring to the table, but outside of Heebs, we doubt many people really care. the only thing goys really need to know about Jewish humor (that will never die) is some good ole Yiddish words and terms, so they too can kvetch like the chosen peoples, or at least understand what they’ve kvetching about. here’s 40 words to get ya started, and here’s two of the greatestest posters of balls thymes

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Anvil! The Story of Anvil
Til Megadeth Do Us Part
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

There are so many documentaries out there about those who have made it, but what about those who are less fortunate, who haven’t quite made it and are forever stuck in obscurity still trying to get to the top? Gawd bless the dreamers, for they give us hope that anything’s possible, even when it isn’t. That’s the story of Canadian trash metal band Anvil, and although Sacha Gervasi(writer of The Terminal and an upcoming Herve Villechaize biopic)’s doc is the story of Anvil (sez so in the title), it’s more about the story of Anvil today than the complete history of Anvil. Guess there’s more humor and sadness looking at their current state of affairs than dwelling on their past, when fame was in their grasp, but were never able to grab hold of it. The line-up has changed over the years, but the core (Jew) duo of lead singer/guitarist Steve ‘Lips’ Kudlow and drummer
Robb Reiner juss don’t know the definition of quitting, even if that’s what they probably should have done ages ago. Now that the film has found a nice sized audience, setting the twitterverse a blaze with gushing mentions, and the band has been asked to open for AC/DC on a couple of dates next month, quitting no longer is a viable option. Yet when the attention dies down, will they go right back to shmosville? Anvil is mos def worth a peepers, but if yer looking for bigger dreams and perhaps even more heartbreak, czech out The Devil & Daniel Johnston, Chasing Ghosts and In The Realms of The Unreal (and if yer really hard up, here’s a nice list of docs to keep ya busy)

Burn In URL: be sure to czech out Anvil’s website, which looks like it was hobbled together by Mennonites from 1807 (we mean that as a complement), which includes hot merchandise and medium rare photos

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Whatever Works is not working today in NY/LA only, while Anvil is hammering it home in select cities across the country

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Ground Beef Control To Colonel Tom Parker

Moon
A Space Multiplicity Oddity
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Moon is 2001 with a lot more talking, and besides a few video transmissions from Earth, the only voices we hear are Kevin Spacey‘s, as a monotone robot (big stretch for him), and Sam Rockwell‘s, and… Sam Rockwell’s (a steak sandwich, and a steak sandwich?). You hear Rockwell’s twice cause there ends up being two of Sam’s character in Duncan Jones‘ feature debut (we won’t explain why there are two cause where’s the fun in that?). So lettuce hope yer a big fan of Rockwell, and if you are, yer in for a treat cause as always, he rocks well, but this time twice as rocking… well! Jones is the son of David Bowie, the man who made space travel sound so lonely with his song about Major Tom, and like father, he’s made his own desolate space oddity, visually, and visually stunning at that. The sets, costumes, machinery, et al, owe a lot of debt to the original odyssey of 2001, + all of its 70s imitators, and it’s this throwback aesthetic that makes Moon stand out from today’s other space flicks. The poster even launches higher than most others, so eat it Space Cowboys and Apatow, who will probably make a space ‘comedy’ starring Ken Jeong about the first disgruntled Asian-American in space. Anywho, Moon‘s a trip, and spooky and mesmerizing, and kinda a make-up call for the fun, but bumpy ride that was the cinematic version of Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

Tell Me Wife I Love Her Very Much She Knows: Rockwell’s Earth wife is played by cutie pie mcgee and apparently mcelligott Dominique McElligott

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Food, Inc.
There Will Be Beef
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle was a revelation. Food, Inc is not (neither was the movie version of talking head Eric Schlosser’s Fast Food Nation). What, you didn’t know that the meat produced in this country is disgusting, from the way they ( ‘they’ being a handful of companies that ‘control’ the ‘industry’) feed the animals, to the way they treat them, to the way they slaughter them, to the way they process the meat, to the way they hire poor immigrant laborers to improperly handle it, to the way they have their hands all up in the pockets of the government (name one industry that doesn’t), to the way it finally gets packaged and sent to our grocery stores and restaurants and ultimately into our mouths? It has to get there somehow, doesn’t it? Sure it’s gross, and of course there are better ways to deliver quality and safe meats, as the movie points out, but to be brutally honest, we don’t care. If it aint baroque, don’t fix it. We mean, we don’t care if 34893294 zillion chickens had to be tortured in order to make fried chicken taste so forkin good. Seriously. Sure, we’re in the wrong here, but like with Super Size Me, all the doc did was reinforce our love of the meat that we’re already being force-fed. To hell with Apatow, cause we’ll eat it ourselves!

2 Die For: this probably needs to be updated a bit (Amy Ruth’s > Ms Mamie’s Spoonbread), but long live our Places To Eat B4 U Die list, which is loaded with greasy spoon spots that use gross meat. so be it!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Moon opens today in NY/LA only, while Food does the same + eats it in SF as well

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Halpert 9000

Away We Go
There’s No Place Like Finding Home
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Less than half a year after Sam Mendes delivered his glum suburban family falls apart near-miss masterpiece that was Revolutionary Road, Mr Winslet is already back in theaters, dropping a sorta anti-Rev Road, where a family is falling together. The Kate/Leo combo guaranteed a surefire fire, but the pairing of soon to be parents John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph doesn’t provide as much of a spark, even if they both hand in solid individual performances. Rudolph in particular shines brighter, and that’s mainly due to the fact that we’ve rarely seen her do anything else but be silly on SNL. Krasinski Halpert isn’t eggzactly the king of range (the beard doesn’t hide a thing), but he’s the perfect everyman, which most guys my age can easily project themselves onto. Plus it’s hard for us to see him make smiley faces with someone else other than Pammy. It’s hactually hard for us to see anyone make smilies with Pammy other than ourselves. Anywho, the two pregger mcgees are looking for a place to call home, so… AWAY WE GO!!!

And go they do, meeting with friends and family across the country (and Montreal), which not only helps them to finger out where to hang their hat, but also finger out what kind of parents they want to be, and most importantly, what kind of parents they don’t want to be. Bad examples are everywhere, from Jim’s soon to be Belgium bound selfish parents (cute, but a tad too quirky Catherine O’Hara and Jeff Daniels), to old workmates with no tact (a bit overdone Allison Janney and the always fun Jim Gaffigan), to a childhood friend that redefines nutty granola (Franken Berry’s alter ego Maggie Gyllenhaal and Josh Hamilton), and college pals with a rainbow family that isn’t exactly all rainbows (Chris Messina and Melanie Lynskey… who was Winslet’s co-star in Peter Jackson’s heavenly Heavenly Creatures). Written by the hubby & wife literary darlings team of Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida, the whole road trip feels more like a collection of short stories than a complete movie. Yet in the end, after our hopeful couple leaves everyone behind, hangs up their hat, and their new life is about to begin, it feels complete. It’s minor Mendes, but not everything he does has to be Revolutionary

Wright On: we totally heart Jeffrey Wright’s real life wifey Carmen Ejogo, who plays Maya’s sistah in Go


many mo snaps hear

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Away We Go is currently playing in NY/LA only and will expand to other away places this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Proctoring & Gambling

The Hangover
A Hazy Shade of Winners & Losers
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

It’s not a smart comedy, nor a dumb one neither, but it doesn’t really matter at all what kinda comedy it is cause The Hangover is sain and plimple a dang funny movie, and if you’ve been reading our reviews for some time you know how infrequently we use the word ‘funny’ to describe a comedy (dramas and horror flicks are another thang, see Gran Torino & Drag Me To Hell for hilarity ensuing). So kudos to director Todd Phillips (although no kudos for his lame cameo as a guy getting head in an elevator) and writers Jon Lucas and Scott Moore for pulling off this feat, hispecially considering the fact that Phillips’ previous work is overrated tripe (Old School, Road Trip) and the scripters’ not even worth rating (Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Four Christmases). Yet it’s not really the writing or direction that makes it work, but the comedic stylings and perfect chemistry between the three leads, pretty boy Bradley Cooper, nerdy boy Ed Helms (and yes, he did indeed get his tooth removed for the movie!) and scruffy-looking nerf herder boy Zach Galifianakis (Justin Bartha‘s the straight man who’s disappearance during his own bachelor party ignites our plot, but he’s barely in it to leave a mark). Our three amigos keep the shenanigans rolling from the get go, all the way til its non-stop LOL ending, which quite honestly, could be one of the most memorable endings to a comedy in quite some time. Eat that Judd Apatow!

There are some things in The Hangover that don’t work at all. Sure, it’s always a pleasure to see Heather Graham‘s breast, but it’s not always a pleasure to watch her act. How many times does she have to play a cheery sex toy? Come to think of it, we’d like to withdraw that question, as we do like to see what her breasts are up to every now and again. How about them promising Iron Mike Tyson bits, as seen/exploited in the trailer? Completely uninspired and moist disappointing of all, flat and unfunny. You’ll enjoy watching this YTMND more than you will his work in the movie. Maybe you won’t, but we fosho did. Regardless, if you want to see Tyson on the big screen, do yerself a big flavor and see Toback’s radiant doc instead. Comedies don’t need to be grounded in reality, but The Hangover motors on realistically for quite awhile. That is until the movie jumps the shark briefly by inserting pointlessly wacky cops that spoil our fun, juss like the overdone ones in Superbad did. And the wurstest offender of all? Dry sourpuss Ken Jeong, poorly playing a prissy gay gangster or something like that, which has instantly put him on the path to earning his second ‘Judd Apatower That Needs To Be Forgotten More Than Sarah Marshall’ trophy at next year’s Thighs Wide Movie Awards. Ken, please, go away. And casting directors, if yer looking for a witty Asian guy, there’s this fellow named John Cho you may have heard of, who’s actually funny… like the rest of this movie, minus all the parts mentioned above. Eat that Judd Apatow! And while yer at it, eat Ken Jeong too!

Galifianakiss of Life: watch Zacky ‘interview’ some choice celebs between two ferns & teach kids about acting

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Downloading Nancy
Baud To The Bone
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Unfortunately this is not a movie about downloading hot nekkid snaps of a girl named Nancy. Not that Nancy (a very fearless Maria Bello) isn’t hottt (remember how she brought it on in that cheerleader oufit?), but she’s not interested in spreading her hotness all up on the internets. She’s a down in the dumps housewife, looking for someone to end her life. Jason Patric answers her posting snatchurally (what, were you eggspecting Tobey Maguire?), but a funny thing happens on the way to getting oneself killed… the two sick puppies find sick happiness in each other’s miseries. This is one tuff love, and such a bleak and twisted little tale that it may qualify for worst date movie of the summer, if not the year. Her oblivious hubby (Rufus Sewell, for once playing the sad sack, instead of a cad baddie), sits at home wondering where the fred funk his wifeykins has gone. Then a knock comes on the door and there’s Patric opening Pandora’s box, telling him that she’s never coming back to him. Watching the two interact, and overact, painful as it may be, is truly a treat to watch, as are Patrick’s nightmarish scenes with Bello. This is quite a first offering from director Johan Renck, and we hope things break outta the bleak house on his second feature, or we might have to cancel the download

Fancy Shmancy: download Nancy…. Grace ringtones!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Cautious Peepers

Séraphine
My Kid Housekeeper Could Paint That
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Séraphine Louis is a foreals person (she has a short Wiki entry to prove it), and her life story about being a frumpy simpleton housekeeper turned divinely inspired floral artist (Yolande Moreau pouring herself, art and soul, into the role), almost reaching minor notoriety in life, with the help of a kind German patron (Ulrich Tukur), but a tad more after death, is so fascinating that it’s rather puzzling why it took so long to make it into a movie. She’s like a female van Gogh, cept she wasn’t crazy enuff to cut off her ear (to spider face), but she was certainly crazy… CRAZY TALENTED… and yes, crazy too. Séraphine’s got enuff issues that she hactually has a subscription. The film, directed by Martin Provost, has the usual stale mise-en-scène trappings of some stuffy drama you might see on Masterpiece Theater, but a flashy artist biopic (with a healthy dose of fiction tossed in to flesh out her story) isn’t really necessary in the Paris countryside of the early 20th century. Apparently the Frenchies agreed as it garnered 7 César Awards. It easily won best supporting croutons in a salad, so why not take a bite. Eat that too Judd Apatow!

The Island That Is Moreau: yo wanna see Yolande NSFW? didn’t think so

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Nancy and Séraphine open today in NY/LA only, while The Hangover hangs out at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

2 Comments

NASA Coliseum

Outrage
Closet Cases Opened
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

There are gay people everywhere! In sports! In politics! In cars! In utero! In Uranus! But back to the politics thing… There are indeed gayz people in politics, but it’s not so crystal Pepsi clear as to who is boner fide gay cause our country isn’t all that lady gaga for gaylord perrys, which is totally stoopid cause gay people are juss like you and we, but they like to make love more than you do, and usually do it with people of a similar sex. Anywho, back to the/our point: there are gay people in politics. Unless them gay pols are comfortable in their own skin, like takin it in the MASShole Congressman Barney Frank, mos keep that kinda hot button info in the closet (like MJ shoulda done with this video). Now staying closeted is understandable cause our country is totally gay, but in a lame way, not in a gay way, but it is completely uneggceptable when such people end up with voting records that are steep deep in opposition of gay rights and recognition. And that’s what Kirby Dick‘s doc is all about, the outting of several Washingtonian playas (sometimes with flimsy evidence and hearsay, although it’s interesting to hear what they say, including Jim McGreevey) who need to be outted by others cause they may be gay and if they are indeed gay then why are they so against gay people? That’s what most openly gay people want to know, and they are OUTRAGEd!! And even if yer straighter than George Strait, it’s umpossible for you to walk away not feeling the same way

Hip 2 Be Full Circle: every time we hear the word ‘hypocrisy‘ (as heard in the film about a flozen times) we think of the early 90s Michael Franti fronted group, The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, and every time we think of them we think of their incredible Dead Kennedys cover(ish) ‘California Über Alles‘ [d] (this particular version is a remix that appeared on the DK tribute album Virus 100)

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

What Goes Up
(this is too ez) …Must Come Down
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Remember teacher turned Challenger astronaut victim Christa McAuliffe? If you lived in the 80s you moist certainly do and if you didn’t live in the 80s, then have you truly lived? Seriously, have you? We had New Coke, Max Headroom and Max’s Video from The Lost Boys and you didn’t. Sorry, we got off track here, so back to the point: there are gay people in politics. Wait, we already went there, done that, been went done. OK. What Goes Up is not really about Christa McAuliffe, although she’s the background that keeps us slightly interested as to what’s going on in the foreground. Reporter Steve Coogan arrives to McAuliffe’s New Hampshire hometown, days before the shuttle’s launch, and as soon as he’s settled in to town, so does the film, and anything cinematic about it. Coogan meets and gold bonds with a bunch of kids who are deeply wounded after their beloved teacher suddenly dies (wait, this is a story about 2 dead teachers?), and the wordy word fest begins and never ends and the film reverts back into it’s original source material, a play. By the intermission, you’ll probably have had enuff (fythighs – movies don’t have intermissions anymore… last one we remember with one was Spike Lee’s Malcolm X… speaking of, here’s an online article about that movie from 1991!! was there even an internet in 1991? was there life before the internet? actually there was, it was the 80s and Max Headroom was drinking New Coke)

While the film qwikly loses it’s luminosity, it’s bright young cast doesn’t fade out for a second. There’s Hilary Duff (we love that she keeps trying like crazy to shed her ye olde Disney ways with edgier roles, and for the most part of her young career, it’s been working), Olivia Thirlby and Josh Peck (another Disney alum), and yes those last two were in The Wackness together and this film is kinda like that film cause it’s a bit wack, but it also has a lil bit of jazz hands, at the hands of Molly Shannon, so it’s also a bit like Coogan’s mildly amusing, but ultimately underwhelming Hamlet 2. What Goes Up is like The Letness Wackham 2. You bet it is! Sure wish writers Robert Lawson and Jonathan Glatzer (also handling the directing duties) brought McAuliffe’s tragedy to the front of the line, cause her story deserves its own movie and this movie coulda been that movie. Also, another movie wethinks this movie shoulda coulda would been would revolve around the nutty ultradynamic duo of Ingrid Nilson and Andrea Brooks. They’re like the Grey Gardens gals, but both young and out of the house, and as we all know, girls are more fun outta the house than they are in the house (see Rachel Ray’s $40 A Day as an example vs her unwatchable shows where she’s stuck in a studio). C’mon, tell us you don’t want to see a whole movie based around this character…

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

What Goes Up opens today in limited release, where Outrage is already fortunate

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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