Thighs Wide Shut

I need that guy’s shirt…

and I need my life to be that yellow

off to Colorado for a week

hoping to rock Red Rocks

and not get stabbed by Tim Love in Aspen

Me and Earl and The Dying Girl
Me Hurl and The Dying For This Movie To End
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 104 min

I don’t even know exactly how to sum up how much I didn’t like (and basically HATTTTTTTTTTTTTED) this movie, and I really don’t have to bother since David Edelstein somehow captured my thoughts exactly, but…

if you are looking for a crappier version of…

The Fault in Our Stars

but less romantic

that focuses on one of THE most annoying and non-interesting teenage protagonists I’ve encountered in a while (this is not actually him)

who is forced by his mom to hang out with that super adorable girl from Bates Motel, who has nothing to do in the movie cept have big eyes, and eventually shave her head cause she has cancer

and our annoying teen boy gets by in his dweeby high school life with his quirky black friend (think Urkel, but not really.  I juss wanted to post a gif of Urkel)

and together they re-make movies in a way that’s somehow dumber then the ultra-dumb Be Kind Rewind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7C8nHAAs70

and the whole movie feels like the 193482382th Wes Anderson Rushmore rip-off you’ve ever seen

and the movie feels like one giant cancer guilt trip, that isn’t worth taking

and for some reason Nick Offerman is in it, and he’s basically as exciting as the grumpy looking cats he looks like

and if I don’t have anything nice to say, too bad, cause I already said it, but don’t see this movie cause it sucks, besides MAYBE the last last 5 minutes, but getting to that last five minutes is pointless torture, but I will say something nice – the Pittsburgh-regional locations for the movie were AWESOME!  Especially the high school they used!

Verdictgo: f this movie, so Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous

Him, Earl and Toe Jam zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzes you in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

this cannot be topped

Love & Mercy
Heroes and Villains
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 120 min

Depending on how much you love the genius of Brian Wilson will determine how much you love Love & Mercy.  I LIVE for Brian Wilson, so I loved Love & Mercy.  It’s not perfect, and what is besides Popeyes fried chicken, but Brian Wilson wasn’t perfect either, but his music is, and his hair was too

The film zig zags between two periods of his life…

Period 1 focuses on the time when he made Pet Sounds, and then Smile, and then slowly descended into madness.  This Brian Wilson is emobodied heart and soul by Paul Dano

Paul Dano does Brian Wilson SO well, I wish he would spend the rest of his life being 60s Brian Wilson

Paul Dano as Brian Wilson, can we be friends and just hang out and sing about surfing, but not actually surf???  I LOVE YOU!!!

herspecially loved Loved LOVED the parts that showed Brian Dano in the studio making music magic.  It looked like this, but in Paul Dano’s body

and loved AND feared the bits where Brian started to lose it.  SH!T WAS TUFF, YO!!!

–

Period 2 captures Brian Wilson in his alive but kinda vegetated state from the 70s/80s on, when he was under the overly watchful eye AND grip of Dr Eugene Landy – who basically turned Brian into his slave.  Dude was horrible

and horrible dudes are always played by Paul Giamatti , and sometimes with a toupée!

and older, moldier Brian Wilson is now played by John Cusack

when I first saw the trailer for this movie, I was instantly psyched, but I was like, why is John Cusack in this, and why is he the older Brian Wilson?  Why don’t they juss let Paul Dano be both the youthful AND the worn versions of Brian Wilson???

well, those thoughts were thrown right away after watching Cusack do an EGGGGGGGGGGSALLLENT job of being the 2nd period Brian Wilson.  Although I wouldn’t want Cusack to live the rest of his life as 70s/80s Brian Wilson, as I do with Dano and the 60s one

Anywho, a woman comes into the picture and complicates things for all – mainly to the dismay of Dr Landy, but for betterment of Brian’s saneness-ness .  This woman (Melinda Ledbetter) saves his life, and eventually becomes his wife (spoiler!)

Gawd only knows what HE would be without HER!

And she’s played by Elizabeth Banks and Elizabeth Banks is great in this!

moral of the story – Brian Wilson had mighty mighty highs, and mighty mighty mighty lows, and Bill Pohlad‘s movie gives us it all – harmonies and warts, in living color, with much blues  

Surf’s up kids, catch a wave on this and have FUN, FUN, FUN (even though most of it isn’t fun) til the daddy takes the t-bird away!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Love & Mercy is surf’s up yours, currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…