Thighs Wide Shut

Yeah write, the NBA can lick my grundle juice thru a funnel in the Holland Tunnel of Mother Love Skinny Bone Star Davey Jones’ Locker

I would dunn the above title to make 5 photochops for da weak, but someone beat me off to it. So you get four, you prick daddy, but don’t you worry, cause Trick LOVE DA KIDS!! [d]

The Sounds
Irving Plaza
Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Dude, ask me how the Sounds sounded the other night? Sounds sounded MO FAH-KIN TIGHT YO!! Tiggs like Major Briggs!! Seriously though, I don’t remember any band that I’ve seen at Irving Platz soundsing so clear, but on that night, the Sounds sounded better than any sounds any other band could have sounded off. ZOUNDS!!! Shiz was ever so more clear than a sheet of saran wrap wrapped around an Everclear music video wrap party!!! Wah? Just shut up and buy their lucious latest, Dying to Say This to You, salem witch is miles away butter than their first album… and miles to go before I sleep.

Above snapple stolen from Buffy, who was also at the show, and who’s also 12 years younger than I. But she aint no Music Slut, who was also there, although I don’t know her age, or if she’s even a slut, has some other pics and the setlist. Saladly, they didn’t let the boys play ‘Hurt You’ and for that they should pay, by way of d-lode

GO (DOWN) MOSES (NOT MARTIN)!!!

+ Gnarls Barkely’s ‘Crazy’ vid, the whole thang this thyme ’round
[WM | Real]

Dude,

To make a long story short, too late [wav], I went to the toon-less Gorillaz show on Sunday, sold my tickets to Wednesday’s show, so I could take in my Nats beating up on the Mets at Chez Ghetto Shea, in sub-zero April conditions, with the dude from Queensrÿche singing the national anthem and Jim Breüer throwing out the first pitch, so anywayz, the guy who bought my Wednesday tickets thought the tickets were for Thursday, so he shows up last night and BAMMM realizes his error. Tough luck. My heart goes out to you kid. But THEN, I’m sittin in my fat condo overlooking the Hudson, doing my laundry, washing my balls, you know, a typical Thursday night, a lightbulb goes off in my head (and I invented the flux capacitor) , and without further ado, I checked ole reliable (c’s list) for any desperate peeps trying to dump their Thursday night Gorillaz tix at the last minute. I contacted the only person who had left a cell # in their posting, cause it was proably too late to catch someone by email, and after haggling with him for all of 8 seconds, like I was Hacksaw Jim Dugan or something, I got him to sells it to me for 20 bones under its face + BS ticketbastard priced value. Turns out these seats were better than Sunday’s, the cartoons did work, Dennis Hopper did read, and once again, Ike Turner did wear something funky AND the Gorillaz did puts on one of the mos enjoyable 70 minutes anyone could have possib-bllyen ever did see. And you won’ts bee leave me, but I actually preferred the toon-less version on Sunday night. It’s the music, not the look. Someone pass that message along to the Strokes. Re-guard-lezzz, 2nd best Gorillaz show I’ve seen this week by far, and mos def bestest spontaneous moment of me’s in the 00’s. Albarn = albest, ad infinitum. Bless your soul

+ I spotted David Gilmour at the show, and possibly someone who looks like Nick Mason, or was it Richard Wright, or was it George Mason?
+ Music Snob turns his stalkin and smooching (?) towards Damon Albest… Lucky bastage

Now I feel kinda embarrassed that I dubbed tATu’s D&M album the tops o’ der year 0-5, not cause it’s tATu, cause they’re better than the Rolling Stones, but cause Demon Days deserved that honor, but not juss for last year, but of this new century, which is by far the wurstest century I’ve ever lived it. Thanks Republicans!!!

But is all the Gorillaz magic dunzo like dumbo drinkin that courvoisier?

Meanwhile, Albarn coconspirator Alex James has apparently been having a pow-wow with Betty Boo. Can you say ‘Wigwam’ by Wigwam [d, vis JJ Binks]… which juss happens to be the fourth breastest song of the week behind Ghostface + Wu-Tang’s ‘9 Milli Bros’ [d], Gnarls Bizzle ‘s ‘Gone Daddy Gone’, and of course, still at #1, WUBBA-WUBBA, ‘Crazy’, (you can find those ‘d’s two posts below, son!)

And

Cuthbest, officially Canandanada’s Patron of Sexy Hair

and

PINDERRR!!!

We get it, you aren’t returning to Blur, and yer gonna release 153153 more albums before they release their ‘nasty, dirty, filthy rock music’. So Golden Graham, what makes you so great? ‘You’re So Great’, cover by unknown [d]

+ a blag dedicated to nuttin but Blur B-sides, remixez, and live mp3szz

Jen, no one wants to hear or watch you sing, hispecially since yer boobs aren’t predominantly displayed in 98% of yer leggy video

Give Land Minds The Boot, and in the process, get yerself some pre-owned famous footwear

Only #23 for ‘sasha cohen picture everyone is talking about‘? Tau is that poopable when everyone and their wolfmother are still talkin bout these

Smutskaya‘s the limit

The Official Shotgun Rules & The Shotgun Guide [AskY!]

How to mess with Coke Machines [Minnie Soda Vikings]

Pizza + Penis = You Know You’re Gonna Click It AND It’s NSFW So What The Fork Are You Waiting For?

and

[T&C]

1st things Bill Frist, have you watched the OG NBC 15 News report Leprechaun Takes Alabama? and Part II, from Channel 5?

was that foreals?

Well, you can’t handle the truth

or

the follow-up report from NBC 15

or

the remix, ‘Da Gold (Where It At?)’ [d]

or

the music video

or

the YTMND version

or

the MySpace page
(with even mo remixes!)

or

the t-shirts and shirts and shirts and shirts

shit be crazy

[additional reporting/link thieving from SteakAndBJs
+ big ups to My Man Marvkus for the OG tip]

and three non-Lepre-related things:

1, I was spotted on the street for the first time as ThighMaster

2, How come no ones told me that David Lynch was offered the chance to direct Return of the Jedi, but turned Lucas down? [IMDB]

3, what IS Cosby? (for the fun-teempth time)