Shaun Ryder Cup My Balls of Noodles


To make a long story short, too late [wav], I went to the toon-less Gorillaz show on Sunday, sold my tickets to Wednesday’s show, so I could take in my Nats beating up on the Mets at Chez Ghetto Shea, in sub-zero April conditions, with the dude from Queensrÿche singing the national anthem and Jim Breüer throwing out the first pitch, so anywayz, the guy who bought my Wednesday tickets thought the tickets were for Thursday, so he shows up last night and BAMMM realizes his error. Tough luck. My heart goes out to you kid. But THEN, I’m sittin in my fat condo overlooking the Hudson, doing my laundry, washing my balls, you know, a typical Thursday night, a lightbulb goes off in my head (and I invented the flux capacitor) , and without further ado, I checked ole reliable (c’s list) for any desperate peeps trying to dump their Thursday night Gorillaz tix at the last minute. I contacted the only person who had left a cell # in their posting, cause it was proably too late to catch someone by email, and after haggling with him for all of 8 seconds, like I was Hacksaw Jim Dugan or something, I got him to sells it to me for 20 bones under its face + BS ticketbastard priced value. Turns out these seats were better than Sunday’s, the cartoons did work, Dennis Hopper did read, and once again, Ike Turner did wear something funky AND the Gorillaz did puts on one of the mos enjoyable 70 minutes anyone could have possib-bllyen ever did see. And you won’ts bee leave me, but I actually preferred the toon-less version on Sunday night. It’s the music, not the look. Someone pass that message along to the Strokes. Re-guard-lezzz, 2nd best Gorillaz show I’ve seen this week by far, and mos def bestest spontaneous moment of me’s in the 00’s. Albarn = albest, ad infinitum. Bless your soul

+ I spotted David Gilmour at the show, and possibly someone who looks like Nick Mason, or was it Richard Wright, or was it George Mason?
+ Music Snob turns his stalkin and smooching (?) towards Damon Albest… Lucky bastage

Now I feel kinda embarrassed that I dubbed tATu’s D&M album the tops o’ der year 0-5, not cause it’s tATu, cause they’re better than the Rolling Stones, but cause Demon Days deserved that honor, but not juss for last year, but of this new century, which is by far the wurstest century I’ve ever lived it. Thanks Republicans!!!

But is all the Gorillaz magic dunzo like dumbo drinkin that courvoisier?

Meanwhile, Albarn coconspirator Alex James has apparently been having a pow-wow with Betty Boo. Can you say ‘Wigwam’ by Wigwam [d, vis JJ Binks]… which juss happens to be the fourth breastest song of the week behind Ghostface + Wu-Tang’s ‘9 Milli Bros’ [d], Gnarls Bizzle ‘s ‘Gone Daddy Gone’, and of course, still at #1, WUBBA-WUBBA, ‘Crazy’, (you can find those ‘d’s two posts below, son!)


Cuthbest, officially Canandanada’s Patron of Sexy Hair




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