Thighs Wide Shut

Ad Astra
Stellar-Inter
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 122 min

Brad Pitt emoting in space > George Clooney dying in space (and I REALLY enjoyed watching Clooney die in space!).  Best Brad’s been in years!!!!  Maybe cause he did less talking… and more emoting!

Also, why make a space movie where you only go to the moon or Mars or Neptune, when you can make a movie where you go to ALL THREE!!!  But no love for Uranus?

But why did you have to include a Subway Sandwich shop at the moon spaceport?  I thought in the future people would be smarter and stop eating Subway cause it sucks, and especially cause their lettuce is shredded newspaper

But way to reuse Space Cowboy stuff!!!  If only they could have figured out a way to reuse Tommy Lee Jones Clay Shaw JFGay stuff!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

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Mark Knopfler + Bonnie Raitt
Madison Square Garden
September 25

THEY GAVE US SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT!

But where was the sweatband Mark??? 

And how the funk have you never played ‘Storybook Love‘ live in concert, and even if you never did, how could you NOT break it out on the VERY anniversary of the release date of The Princess Bride????  I mean, you can play whatever you want to play (c’mon, ‘Bacon Roll’??), but there are missed opportunities and then there are REALLY missed opportunities!!  YOU MISSED IT!!! And where was Sting?  Or all the sports highlights paired to your ‘Walk of Life’, which wasn’t even worthy of playing??

Bonnie Raitt Setlist – Unintended Consequence of Love/ Need You Tonight / One Belief Away / I Believe I’m in Love With You / Devil Got My Woman / Something to Talk About / Thing Called Love / Angel From Montgomery / I Can’t Make You Love Me / You Got the Love / Love Sneakin’ Up On You

Mark Knopfler Setlist – Why Aye Man / Corned Beef City / Sailing to Philadelphia / Once Upon a Time in the West / Romeo and Juliet / My Bacon Roll / Matchstick Man / Done With Bonaparte / Heart Full of Holes / Your Latest Trick / Postcards From Paraguay / On Every Street

Encore – Money for Nothing / Wherever I Go (with Bonnie Raitt) / Going Home: Theme of the Local Hero

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maybe the money’s for nothing (and the chicks for free), but a night of two mighty Marks • @markknopfler + @unclegrambo • is pri¢ele$$

A post shared by Thigh Master (@thighmaster) on Sep 26, 2019 at 4:16am PDT

It Chapter Two
Every Which Way But Loser
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 169 min

The casting directors of It Chapter Two somehow decided to NOT go with my choices as to who should play the grown-up losers we first met in Part One.  F’shame.  Winona Ryder would have made an AMAZING grown-up Finn Wolfhard!!  Instead we got Bill Hader as big Finn Wolfhard, who, everyone, including your mother, said ‘steals’ the show. ‘They’ are wrong.  It’s James Ransone who steals the show, as grown-up Jack Dylan Grazer!  So, casting directors, you did GREAT work (even if Fred Savage would have been a solid pick)!

Many people in my screening were bemoaning about how long Part Two was.  Guess they aren’t aware that the book is 9 billion pages long, and that the two movies combined are actually trying their best to tell the story in a concise and entertaining manner

OK, ok, I hear you on a bit of it.  The part where the grown-up losers search individually for tokens does seem a bit winded, but by the time the film wraps up, I wish I spent MORE time with the characters individually.  There’s not nearly enough time in this movie!!!  Yes, it should be longer!!!! 

But is it scary?  Not really, but it is fcuking spooky as heck!  And the CGI monsters they dream up were incredible!  Some of the creepiest Stephen King boogeymen every brought to the screen!!  (with all do respect to the gnarly old naked chick in room 237)

Only REAL problem with It?  We won’t be catching up with the losers club 27 years from now

Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers

It is pennywise and not so pound-foollish a theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Good Boys
Supergood
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 95 min

This past week I delved into nostalgia, and was blessed to see not one, but TWO beloved Corey Feldman movies IN an actual theater – Stand By Me + The Goonies.  I am happy report that they both hold up, and make me question why such young teen coming of age movies like those don’t exist today (Stranger Things doesn’t count, cause it’s not as great as you think it is.  watch Stand By Me and The Goonies again and you’re basically watching Stranger Things, but like 9319391403912903120391239 zillion times better)

Weeks back I had seen the trailer to Good Boys and said, hey, kids cussing and playing with sex toys that they have no idea are sexual in nature – this may work!  And it’s got the kid from Last Man On Earth and the kid from Room!

Now I’m not saying Good Boys is a modern day Stand By Me or Goonies, but I cared for these 3 kids, their relationships with one another, the adventure they endure, and I enjoyed their cussing and playing with sex toys, even though have no idea that they’re sexual in nature!

It’s basically a younger, more innocent, more funny Superbad

Super good if you ask me!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Boys are damn Good at a theater near jews and white nationalists 

also, these two 5ever please!!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw
Built To Fast
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 137 min

8 Fast 8 Furious was a disaster.  Sure, it was fast, and yeah, it was furious, but it ended up being 1 fast and 1 furious way too many for my tastes.  Bringing Dwayne Johnson into the fold changed the dynamic of the franchise for the worse (but perhaps for box office best).  Fast & Furious is no longer about hot cars, hot chicks, and the meatheads who drive and ride both.  It’s now about solving global terrorism… with cars?  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FAST & FURIOUSSESS!!!!

So what to do?  Apparently the right thing – Dwayne Johnson doesn’t need the world of Fast & Furious, and we don’t need him there either.  So use the F&F letterhead and team him up with his rival and let the hi & lowjinks ensue.

Welcome to Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw!

It’s got the F&F attitude, but none of the Vin Diesel battitude!  And it turns bad guy Jason Statham into a good guy!  And he gets to make fun of The Rock the entire time!  And he has a sister – Vanessa Kirby – who roxxxx!!

And the movie is very self-reflexive!  It knows how dumb it is and plays that up!  Cliché upon cliché is clichéd, and it works!

But this movie is 137 minutes too long.  Yes, the whole thing is unnecessary.  After some big fight between our three heroes and the bad guy (Idris Elba), I was like – that’s a good place to end.  I’ve seen enuff.  I’ve enjoyed this dumb aplenty.  We don’t need to continue on, and have more scenes of talking and strategizing and plotting, just to set up another big fight.  But it went on, and it turned into Whale Rider or something, and then we’re introduced to a character related to one of our characters, and then I got really upset

Spoiler alert…

I got upset cause we’re introduced to The Rock’s screen mom, who lives in Samoa, a place the Rock’s character hasn’t been back to in 9ever cause of some pointless beef he has with his brother.  And in a movie where nothing is believable, I actually had a problem in believing this was in-character for the Rock’s character.  The Rock’s character is a big family man.  They always make it a huge point about how he loves his daughter and stresses the importance of family.  So if that is the case, why would he never see his mama?  And hold back his daughter from meeting and getting to know her grammy?  This makes no sense.  It makes no sense especially since the beef the Rock’s character had with his brother is squashed in all of about 8 seconds.  All that estrangement for nothing.  The Rock’s character made his mother sad for ages, and withheld gladness from his daughter as well.  That’s too slow, too curious

Next time, less family, more feud.  And pile on even more clichés!

Verdictgo: dumb, but fun, so I guess… Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Hobbs throbs at a theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood
Squeaky Foam
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 165 min

It took Quentin Tarantino 10 tries to figure out the perfect time, place and artifice to put on display all of his cinematic hopes, dreams, knowledge and references into one spectacular bundle.  His Manson Family drenched love poem to late 60s Los Angeles –  Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood – is the pinnacle of his career, and is 7/8ths great.  It’s that final 1/8th of the flick that throws all those fantastically creative juices running on all cylinders up until that point right down the toilet.  In a way, it’s a totally wasted opportunity 

No spoiler alerts here, but history is history.  Fact is fact.  You can stretch the truth, but you cannot just change history.  QT rewrites history how he sees fit, and in Hollywood‘s case, it’s un-fit for society.  The history he rewrites may be OK for those who know what actually happened.  But for those who don’t, it’s a disservice.  I declare Helter Skelter on the ending!  I’d also say see Helter Skelter, but you’d need a DVD player to see it (it’s not streaming)

This movie was well on its way to being his JFK, or his Zodiac.  This was going to be the best film to explore the Manson Family AND Sharon Tate, from both sides.  Instead, QT gotta do what QT gotta do, and QT always has to go over the top, when it was not even remotely required

Q, if you wand to play with your dolls in the valley however you see fit, why not just change all the names and make everything thickly veiled, like Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master?  Then you would be truly free to do whatever you want!  (without any backlash or dismissing by me!)

Hollywood works like one giant Simpsons episode written by Tarantino.  Throwbacks, nods, and winks ooze everywhere, and each one of the allusions caught is fun for those who can pick up on them.  But the fun will eventually turn grim.  You know and see where it’s all going, and you want it to actually go in the direction you believe it’s going in.  And when it doesn’t, I just wanted that ending to go away.  Truth trumps made up stuff

Verdictgo: 7/8ths is still great, so Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Hollywood is in the spotlight a theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…