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Wicker Manned

Midsommar
Swedish Fishy
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 147 min

this sums up my incredible cinematic experience with Midsommar perfectly…

Verdictgo: Breast In Show 

Midsommar never ends in a theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

Legend John

Rocketman
He’s Still Standing, And Outstanding
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 122 min

Who knew that Elton John‘s life story was so sad??!!!? We know that sad songs say so much, but his music is so un-sad – it’s joyous!!  And although 74% of the movie about Reginald Dwight’s transformation from broke bloke to sensational superstar is super sad (it’s like Tommy meets Pink Floyd’s The Wall, but WAY less  creepy and scary), you’ll be too busy enjoying the rise, to forget about the fall

What I particularly liked about Dexter Fletcher (that guy from Lock Stock!!) and Lee Hall‘s film is the pace – NON-stop.  You don’t even know where you are on the calendar year.  Time flies. The music soars.  The pain is real, but the antidote is right around the corner.  You can feel it.  It’s almost here!

Also, no knock on Taron Egerton, but before I saw Rocketman, I didn’t think for a second that the Kingsman kid would be able to pull off a role like this.  After?  I WAS BEYOND FCUKING WRONG.  TARON!  TARON!  TARON!!!  I mean, Elton’s retiring soon, so why doesn’t he go on tour with Adam Lambert and they can sing Queen and Elton songs and make billionz!!

Oh, and ALL those fcuking costumes!  And hairpieces!  And glasses!!  Make an special one year Academy Award for best movie glasses!!  SEEING IS BELIEVING 

Verdictgo: Breast In Show 

Rocketman has already lift-off

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Get Something Off Your Toy Chest

Toy Story 4
Bo-Weep
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
G | 100 min

I know it’s a movie, and they are cartoons, of toys, but Bo-Peep is so fine (and so is the woman behind the voice – Annie Potts).  Woody is so lucky (we are all so lucky these movies exist!  they are GIFTS!!!) 

Never have I wanted two Disney characters to kiss like I did with Bo and Woody.  Spoiler alert – they don’t in this movie.  BUT THEY DID IN #1!!!  WHY THEN BUT NOT NOW??? But it’s OK – the getting gets good enuff between our hero and newly elevated heroine in Toy Story 4!! 

But c’mon Disney – let them kiss – especially after all they’ve been thru!!! 

Even my foxy girl Marian gave our foxy boy Robin a little smooch in my beloved Robin Hood! (and there was talk of them having kids!!!)

Man, Disney has gotten so soft. 

Ye olde Daisy and Donald used to be so graphic with their affections! 

Hopefully Toy Story 5 goes in a new direction – hentai!

Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers 

Toy Story 4 lyfe, at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

Ran DMC

Framing John DeLorean
Unsafe At Any Speed
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
Not Rated | 109 min

By the time Back To The Future cemented the DeLorean as one of the most important automobiles in cinematic history, its creator and his namesake car company were in ruins, both financially and personally.  How could that be so?  How did John Zachary DeLorean give birth to an icon on wheels, but fail so miserably by doing so?

DeLorean’s bucked conventional automotive industry wisdom to rise thru the ranks of General Motors, but proved to be too much of a bon vivant for the top brass’ liking, and so he tried something no one would ever think to do – create his own car company.  The DeLorean Motor Company was born to do the impossible, and ultimately it proved impossible.  Long story short – DeLorean became cash strapped, and in need of further funding, came across a cocaine deal that was too good to be true, which it turned out to be, which led to public spectacle and the rapid decline of everything he built up

His life is certainly ripe for a movie treatment.  And many have tried to get it up on the big screen for years, but as you may have figured – weren’t able to make that happen… UNTIL NOW!  But the double-meaning titled Framing John DeLorean isn’t no biopic.  And it aint no documentary either.  It’s somewhere in between.  Don Argott (his The Art of The Steal is one of my favorite docs of this past decade) and Sheena M. Joyce‘s film is a sorta Unsolved Mysteries, with re-enactments stitched together with interviews, archival photos and footage.  The hybrid concept is nifty (and worked better for American Animals), but on top of the re-enactments, we are ‘treated’ to a peek behind the curtain, as the re-enactors get into character and give us their opinions on the people their playing.  After awhile, I grew tired of these asides, and questioned their need to be included.  Sure, it’s always entertaining to see Alec Baldwin at work in thick eyebrows, here in the title role (and one DeLorean  himself actually wanted Baldwin to play!), but cut out about 20 minutes of this method acting prep, and the movie would have been much more slick and fine tuned, like DeLorean was when he was making muscle cars a thing back in his GM days

Still, DeLorean’s story is one well worth driving by, and how his hubris and failure affected his colleagues and loved ones, but some things are a little bit more exciting when experienced at 88mph, and not at a more leisurely pace

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers 

DeLorean hits the road and VOD Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

1 Comment

Stockholmboys

Stockholm
Sympathy For The Devilish
Trailers & Mo

R | 92 min

Stockholm syndrome (where hostages end up sympathizing with their captors) – must have something to do with Stockholm, Sweden, eh?  YES!!!  And apparently I never thought to wiki-look that up (which makes no sense, considering how crazed I am for all things Patty Hearst), so was pleased to learn all about its origin in the loopy, fernetic, panicked and fun Robert Budreau film, aptly named… Stockholm!

So…. Stockholm, what happened there?  A guy (Ethan Hawke) robbed a bank, IN STOCKHOLM, in 1973!!  But he wanted more than money!  He wanted a mate (Mark Strong, with a solid wig for his bald dome) sprung from prison, and for both of them to escape to freedom.  As with a lot of robberies (both in real life and in reel life), not everything goes according to plan.  The guy has to take hostages (Noomi Rapace!! + 2 others) in order to get his demands met.  The police weren’t used to this kinda thing, cause these things didn’t really happen in the capital of Sweden, and so confusion and chaos and winging it on both sides ensure.  And as the situation lingers and lingers and lingers, the hostages… start to… sympathize… with their… captors!!!

BOOM!

Lesson learned, and in such entertaining (70s) fashion! 

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Stockholm takes stock currently in limited release 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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