Scrum & Drang

Invictus
An Afrikaaned Job
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Any movie that features Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela, a role his DNA was bourne to play, should be a slam down, touch run, home dunk, wham bam bam wham thank you for all the Academy Awards ma’am, righty right? Attach Clint Eastwood as the director, the man who got Freeman his long overdue Oscar for his werk in Million Dollar Baby, and the above should have been true tenfold and been more of a powerhouse than Penfold’s pal Danger Mouse, righty righty right right? YES IT CUSSIN SHOULD HAVE BEEN!! Alas, that’s not what Invictus is

While it woulda been easier, and munch bud wiser to have given us the whole Mandela story, all we gets instead is a pie slice, specifically when he first came into office and thought the best way to unite the minority oppressors and the majority oppressed was by embracing something that one group loved and the other loathed: the national rugby team (headed by Matt Damon, who probably stole his South African accent by watching Lethal Weapon 2 eleven zillion thymes)!! Sounds like it shoulda been sumtang quite inspired and inspiring, but this aint no Apartheid Hoosiers, and so it aint neither inspired nor inspiring!!! WHAT THE GEORDI LAFORGE?!?!?!? Invictus coulda been the third leg in the triple crown of hammazin 2009 South African cinema (District 9 & Skin being the other two), but this tired sports movie (it’s not even close to dethroning the best Rugby movie, The Sporting Life) is all backwards passes and no goings forwards

Rugby Goes Up: parents juss don’t understand. often them old peoples juss think video games have nuttin to teach kids, and while moist of the time they’re probably right, sometimes theys wrongs. how else do you think we learned the rules of rugby? by playing Rugby World Cup 95 on Sega Genesis, that’s how, so eat it parents!!!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Invictus is currently not so invictorious at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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