Kay Bee Toys –  Easter circular – April 1992

art by Hiroshi Nagai

which looks very Out Run-y

OUT RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OutRun – Garnet Hertz

Garnet Hertz’s video game concept car combines a car-shaped arcade game cabinet with a real world electric vehicle to produce a video game system that actually drives. OutRun offers a unique mixed reality simulation as one physically drives through an 8-bit video game. The windshield of the system features custom software that transforms the real world into an 8-bit video game, enabling the user to have limitless gameplay opportunities while driving. Hertz has designed OutRun to de-simulate the driving component of a video game: where game simulations strive to be increasingly realistic (usually focused on graphics), this system pursues ‘real’ driving through the game. Additionally, playing off the game-like experience one can have driving with an automobile navigation system, OutRun explores the consequences of using only a computer model of the world as a navigation tool for driving

OUT RUN!!!

Invictus
An Afrikaaned Job
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Any movie that features Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela, a role his DNA was bourne to play, should be a slam down, touch run, home dunk, wham bam bam wham thank you for all the Academy Awards ma’am, righty right? Attach Clint Eastwood as the director, the man who got Freeman his long overdue Oscar for his werk in Million Dollar Baby, and the above should have been true tenfold and been more of a powerhouse than Penfold’s pal Danger Mouse, righty righty right right? YES IT CUSSIN SHOULD HAVE BEEN!! Alas, that’s not what Invictus is

While it woulda been easier, and munch bud wiser to have given us the whole Mandela story, all we gets instead is a pie slice, specifically when he first came into office and thought the best way to unite the minority oppressors and the majority oppressed was by embracing something that one group loved and the other loathed: the national rugby team (headed by Matt Damon, who probably stole his South African accent by watching Lethal Weapon 2 eleven zillion thymes)!! Sounds like it shoulda been sumtang quite inspired and inspiring, but this aint no Apartheid Hoosiers, and so it aint neither inspired nor inspiring!!! WHAT THE GEORDI LAFORGE?!?!?!? Invictus coulda been the third leg in the triple crown of hammazin 2009 South African cinema (District 9 & Skin being the other two), but this tired sports movie (it’s not even close to dethroning the best Rugby movie, The Sporting Life) is all backwards passes and no goings forwards

Rugby Goes Up: parents juss don’t understand. often them old peoples juss think video games have nuttin to teach kids, and while moist of the time they’re probably right, sometimes theys wrongs. how else do you think we learned the rules of rugby? by playing Rugby World Cup 95 on Sega Genesis, that’s how, so eat it parents!!!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Invictus is currently not so invictorious at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Tyson
Uppercuts & Downercuts
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

A Mike Tyson documentary that doesn’t bother to mention his 8-bit/5th-best NES classic Punch-Out!! (or Michael Scott’s prank phone calls for that splatter) is an automatic failure. James Toback‘s Tyson doesn’t go there, but if we can get over that faulty fact, then you’ll probably be able to too, cause this profile straight from the horse’s mouth of the Last Lord of The Ring is the funniestest and moist touchingestest movie we’ve seen since Gran Torino. What can we say, we love a man of words, even if their racist (Eastwood’s Asian barbs are still boning are funny) or malapropped 8 days a week (Tyson twice made playful use of the word ‘skulduggery‘… btw, bestest Tyson quote of balls thyme: ‘I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian‘). If yer looking for an in-depth look back at his life and career, you may want to look elsewhere, cause this doc aint about depth of facts, but of feelings, and you’ll be feeling his pain, from the punches in the ring, to the ones that came from outside of it. Regardless of what you think of him going in, you’ll feel sympathy for this devil coming out, and maybe, juss maybe, you’ll let him eat your children

They Got Game: play Nintendo/Tyson’s Punch-Out on-line + Sega’s James ‘Buster’ Douglas Knockout Boxing (which sold about as many copies as minutes of fame he had) too!!

Verdictgo: sure, it runs a lil long, even at 90 minutes, but this shiz is totes pelling-com, so low end Breast In Show, but Breast In Show lessthenone

The Informers
Walking On Empty
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Bret Easton Ellis is ell a gifted and talented writer. The movies made from his books haven’t been so gifted, even if they’ve been loaded with talented people (we don’t care what you say, American Psycho the movie SUCKED when compared to American Psycho the book, which has gotz to be one of the greatestest American novels ever written, so eat it Faulkner!). His loosely connected short storied Informers (another book we hactually read) unfortunately continues this trend, leaving the likes of Billy Bob Thornton, Mickey Rourke, Winona Ryder, Lou Taylor Pucci, Rhys Ifans, hot newcomer Jon Foster, and the ageless Chris Isaak, with not much to do, cept sit around and look beautiful and bored, as their shallow and vapid characters are unseamlessly being tied together. You’ll probably be more bored than they are (although we weren’t bored by perky cutie Cameron Goodman). We knew it wasn’t working as we were watching it, yet it did kinda sorta stick with us after we left the theater (doesn’t 12 minutes afterwards count for something). You can skip it (along with its poster, which has gots to be worstest poster of the year), and instead watch the hammazin unrated trailer again and again, and pretend, like us, that the movie rocks the cashbar. It’s really sad that Brad Renfro‘s final performance ever will best be known as that movie where Amber Heard’s NSFW scenes are better seen than anything else seen or heard from within

Keeping You Well Informed: never 5get the best/wurstness that is Snow’s ‘Informer’ [d|vid] + the Jim Carrey parody, which isn’t as thighlarious

Verdictgo: Very Little Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Tyson & The Informers are both currently playing in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…