Thighs Wide Shut

above: Britain’s Channel 4’s glorious single-take whirlwind tour of The Shining set advert to promote their 10 day Kubrick-a-thon, complete with faux Danny, Redrum and that fellatio happy dude in the bear costume

John and Howard, the top 2 when it comes to a Hughes Who of recluses

time to play alive or dead: JD Salinger, Harper Lee and Bettie Page

more bangable: Larry Wachowski or Lana Wachowski?

In Search of Steve Ditko

Bobby Fischer was always so jazzed to play chess with Jon Voight

Ken Wahl‘s NSFW snaps of his ex-wife and ex-sister-in-law, aka the Barbi twins, whom even Saddam Hussein supposedly JOed to

Netflix like the wind: In The Realms of The Unreal, all about Henry Darger

not a recluse, but could be one since we haven’t seen him in ages: Joe E Tata, age 71, to return as Nat, proprietor of the Peach Pit

wiki’s list of recluses

Wees suckers for those AFI top whatever specials that air every year on CBS. Although it appears as if they’re running outta ideas already (as well as talking heads… Amy Madigan? guess she had the most spare time outta anyone), as last night’s affair was the top 10 films for 10 different genres: Animation, Romantic Comedies, Westerns, Sports, Mystery, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Gangster, Courtroom Drama and Epics. While they did a purty decent job with their picks, some of the choices didn’t seem to fit the category they were filed under, like Field of Dreams getting listed under ‘Fantasy’ instead of ‘Sports’, and who ever considered Pulp Fiction to be a ‘Gangster’ film? And whatta bout the absence of Horror films? And why no love for Documentaries, ever (here’s our flavs)? To hells with that shiz, so we decided to come up with a bunch o random lists of our own…

Horror
(not including anything by Stephen King or Hitchcock)

1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2. Alien
3. The Exorcist
4. The Wicker Man
5. Jacob’s Ladder
6. The Silence of the Lambs
7. Halloween
8. Rosemary’s Baby
9. The Omen
10. Poltergeist

boo-nus: Time To Leatherface The Music

Stephen King

1. The Shawshank Redemption
2. Stand By Me
3. The Shining
4. Carrie
5. Misery
6. The Mist
7. The Running Man
8. The Dead Zone
9. The Lawnmower Man
10. Children of the Corn

boo-nus: visit Mansfield, Ohio for the Shawshank Redemption trail tour, which includes a stop at the Ohio State Reformatory

Alfred Hitchcock

1. Psycho
2. Strangers On A Train
3. North By Northwest
4. Rear Window
5. Notorious
6. Rebecca
7. Vertigo
8. Rope
9. The Birds
10. Dial M For Murder

boo-nus: Saul Bass‘ storyboards for the Psycho shower scene

TV Shows Turned Into A Movie
(doesn’t include characters plucked from a show, like Borat or the Blues Brothers)

1. The Untouchables
2. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
3. The Fugitive
4. The Brady Bunch Movie
5. The Addams Family
6. Jackass: The Movie
7. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me
8. Star Trek IV
9. Beavis and Butt-Head Do America
10. Dragnet

boo-nus: 30 Upcoming Movie Sequels You Didn’t Know About, including an Untouchables prequel

Drugs

1. Trainspotting
2. Requiem for a Dream
3. Pulp Fiction
4. Midnight Express
5. Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas
6. Boogie Nights
7. Scarface
8. The Big Lebowski
9. Carlito’s Way
10. New Jack City (and no, we aint kidding)

boo-nus: when in Scotland, take the Trainspotting literary tour

Music

1. Pink Floyd The Wall
2. Tommy
3. The Commitments
4. The Devil and Daniel Johnston
5. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
6. The Filth and the Fury
7. A Hard Days Night
8. Buena Vista Social Club
9. DiG!
10. The Blues Brothers
and this list goes to
11. This Is Spinal Tap

boo-nus: I Need A Dirty Woman, I Need A Dirty Girl

Dystopia

1. A Clockwork Orange
2. Planet of the Apes
3. THX 1138
4. Children of Men
5. Twelve Monkeys
6. Sleeper
7. Starship Troopers
8. A.I.
9. Gattaca
10. 1984

boo-nus: Real Horrorshow

Awful Movies We
Kinda Sorta Vouch For

1. Zardoz
2. Can’t Stop The Music
3. Escape From The Planet of the Apes
4. The Terminal
5. The Apple
6. Ghost Dad
7. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle
8. 2 Fast 2 Furious
9. She’s All That
10. Bratz/From Justin To Kelly (tie)

boo-nus: the Zardoz trailer, which may well be the greatestest trailer EVER

previously AFIing it up:

100 Songs Mostly Wrong
& Quothing At The Mouth

1408
Holiday Inn Hell
(which shouldn’t be confused with
Billie Holiday Inn The Year 2000)
Trailer

When it comes to Stephen King and hotels, we’ve already seen the bestest, so everything else throbviously is and will be juss the restest. Sure, SK wasn’t a big fan of Kubrick’s take of his Shining, but I dare anyone else to admit that the TV version starring that dude from Wings and Rebecca DeMakesMeHorn-nay, which follows the book munch closer, is mother or lake superior to Kube’s! And don’t make me double dare you, cause I’ll force you to take the physical challenge like my name was Mark Summers! Hell, even the Simpsons’ take on the Overlook Hotel was better than that crud! Hotels aside, tis been ages since there was a decent flick adapted from a Stephen King anything… and by ages, I mean 2001, when Hearts In Atlantis was dropped on a world hungry for anything Anton Yelchin. Well, much to my sirprize and delight, 1408, which coulda also be titled John Cusack vs a Hotel Room, resets the ages mark to 2007. It’s a classic average Stephen King flick, in the same vein as Dolores Claiborne, The Dark Half, and Children of the Corn (that’s #CotC I, not III with Charlize Theron or IV with Naomi Watts). None of dem a3mentioned films are extremely spectacular, but would still be james worthy of a watch if it popped up on TBS one lonely night at home. You could wait a few years until this pops up on cable TV, but you should feel free to see 1408 in theaters if Evan Almighty isn’t eggzactly whetting yer fappetite

Not To Be Overlooked: wanna stay at the Overlook Hotel featured in Kube’s versh of The Shining? Well, you’d be aMAZEd to find out that mos of it was a set created at Elstree Studios in England. Howevs, the exterior is in fact that of the Timberline Lodge in Oregon and the interiors were recreated to match that of Yosemite’s Ahwanee Hotel in California. By the gay, the haunted room in The Shining book was 217, but for the flick, it was changed to the fictional 237, so not to scare any guests at the Timberline

Fanning Over The Next Dakota: while we eagerly await all future projects of Invasion wunderkind Ariel Gade, keep and eye and a thigh on the adorable child actress Jasmine Jessica Anthony, who could easily pass as another daughter of Ari Gold

Netflux: it’s not the greatest thang since a sliced can of Slice, but Cusack and Co’s motel thriller Identity [trailer] is kinda darn thrillin!

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers•

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…