Hot Lunch With Hot Carl
22. Jan, 2009 
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Donkey Punch
The Dead Sea Rolls
Trailers & Mo | Official Website
Three saucy British babes randomly meet up with three preppy blokes and their semi-annoying, semi-hardcore mate who semi-speaks in semi-cockney rhyme (and is semi-as-smooth as Semmi from Coming To America). They set sail on a yacht for a bit o’ afternoon fun in the sun on the Mediterranean. Throw in some drugs, bumpin tunes and liquor in the front and poker in the rear and we’ves gots the making of another glorious Skinemax movie. And it is. It is that is is until the movie’s title’s sexual euphemism is put into action (at the insistence of the semi-bloke) and turns this mother out into a survival of the fittest… the fittest honeys and cuties fighting for their lives on the high sea of treachery and debauchery and any other kind of cheryes you could think of. Half salacious scenery and half tine-spingling a-lings, Donkey Punch is a 100% guilty pleasure that we’d never plead not guilty to. We even get pleasure guilty-ly juss by repeating the title. DP has more barrels of laffs (most unintentional) than Donkey Kong has barrels and gets more Punch-love from us than we’d ever give to Punch-Drunk Love. Sure, there aints no Academy Award performances to be found for nautical miles, but who gives a ship when we’ve juss docked on the mos entertaining movie of 2009. That’s not sayin too much considering it’s one of the first movies we’ve seen this year, but butts stinks and Dave Butz rules! Did we mention that this movie’s called 3?!?!
Rex-N-Effect: the soundtrack‘s a killer (although we coulda done w/o the sound bites from the film), and every time we hear the Rex The Dog remix of The Knife’s ‘Heartbeats’ [d] all we wanna do is dance, and donkey punch saucy babes on a yacht. DONKEY PUNCH!
How You Like Dem Apple Saucy Babes?: while the Run Lola Run lookin blonde may be easy on the thighs, and we’d totally give the girl above (Nichola Burley) a whirl down below, we’re totally jonesing the moistest for Indiana Jones’ buddy Ray Winstone‘s daughter Jaime
Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers
Donkey P opens today in NY/LA only
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
