Thighs Wide Shut

I didn’t have (t)high eggspectations goin into my trip to Pittsburgh, for Mr & Mrs Pibbums wedding weekend eggstravaganza, but after a whirlwind 48 hrs in Heinz’ Ward, where I got HJs from both Sid Bream and Steely McBeam, the Steel City mos certainly hath steeled my heart!

think of the ‘burgh
as a better Baltimore

with the world’s only EWAY and TRIANG!!!

where their beautiful bridges

outnumber the total that Venice

and Nash’s family gotz!

no trip to the land where three rivers meet
is complete w/o a stop at the Warhol Museum

which waRULES mo than Ja Rule!

while the Primanti Bros‘
sang-wiches loaded with fries and slaw
are supposedly a draw

i found their pitts-burgher cheese steak
to be simply the pitts!

but the Iron City Brew

mixed with this motherload in my mouth
slightly made up for that poop sandwich

and all of that grease
was no longer the word
in my head after hittin up
P&G’s Pamela’s Diner

aka Best Pittsburgh Breakfast Winner
time and thyme again

where the chocolate chip & banana
crepe-pancakes

are so effin da greatest mt EVERest
that a return trip to the City of Bridges
is already in the cards!

when staying at the Westin
56 degrees is = to about 75 duh jon gries

guess I shoulda stayed at the Igloo
if I wanted to stay cool

but their dual showerheads

is edward james ALMOS better than receiving head

Kwik, I’m running outta words
to say about the PGH

uh, go Steagles!?

The New Coke Can Design Is The Old Coke Can Design, But Better, which should not be confused with New Coke (I double dog dare you to drink a can), or even Diet Coke, which isn’t new, cause it juss celebrated its 25th birthday!! [famerD]

Yaphet Kotto, secret Jew AND almost Lando Calrissian?

Where Daft Punk got their samples from [the often NSFW VOXEFX]

Zach Braff’s 10 Easy Tips for Writing Films About Twenty-Somethings®

screencaps galore of Katherine Heigl on Roswell

fartsy artsy Ratatouille posters

she WINSteads all the time!

[Sup Pics]
the ultimate Movie Pooper: Paris Je T’aime

Uncle Ben, CEO? A slideshow of racist spokespeoples

the gayest Mola Ram-George Lucas picture mt EVERest

[Twister Duvet]
Nintendo Post-It Art [NotCot]

President Jimmy Carter and the ‘killer rabbit’ [S-Dope]

SI‘s Bestest Athletes by Number: 00-31, 32-65 & 66-99… wonder how Jeter feels being beat out by a horse!

Save The 76 Ball!!

I’ll have the hot pastrami please

Nuts Mag Gives You A-Z Babes/Boobies [Boobie Blog, all NSFW]

Спорт

&, is it foo-ball season yet or juss COX blocking season?

[Fanball]

Bryan Adams, singer cum photographer, totally wants to have a summer of 69ing with subject Cindy Crawford

[mo snaps]
remember Parker Bros’ ’78 handheld game Merlin, the Electronic Wizard [view ye olde TV ad]? Thought you didn’ts, so dat’s why someone made a versh u could play write on yer very own computer

America’s 11 Most Endangered Places 2007

Loves you that tune from the 2nd half of the the Ocean’s Thirteen trailer but doesn’t know what the fargin frig it is? Tis be ‘Theme from Andrex’ [d here] from Shawn Lee’s Ping Pong Orchestra’s Moods And Grooves album

the only Tom Arnold wearing a Microsoft hockey jersey wallpaper that you’ll ever need

Squirrel Catapult

& for bold thyme’s sake…

& for new thymes rake…

Hollyoaks megababe Emma Rigby

strikes a Linda Blair Exorcist pose

wanna be cool like Shia LeBeef? Then stop gettin lost in yer own museum like Marcus Brody (RIP!!!) and get yer a$$ cast in Indy 4!

Blur to never reunite hit the studio this ROCKTOBER?

Mischa Barton To Star In t.A.T.u Movie. Then I guess her recent appetite for mushrooms was not research for a starring role in a new Super Mario Bros flick

Black Star and Tenacious D finally unite, as Jack Black and Mos Def get wrapped in tin foil

Rocky II, III, IV Decisions Overturned After Stallone Caught With Performance-Enhancing Drugs

the heat is on Windy City Heat, the mos uberbrills Bob Goldthwait related-joint mt EVERest and Kilimanjaro

Kubrick assistant Leon Vitali looks back on 30 years of his eyes not wide shutting

Hollywood Walk of Fame Star Generator [Pakula Shaker Hts]

Google Image Labeler

Howard DJ’s Like A Mad C%nt

Optimash Prime [Kid Kadoji]

Питание в разных странах!!

Strawberry Say No To Drugs tee

Fire thing-a-majig actually works

and Alfonso Ribeiro’s Breakin’ & Poppin’…

[De La Roachclip]

In life, as the Grail Knight sagely and parsley sez, we muss choose, but we muss choose wisely. For if we choose poorly, we may end up like ye olde Walter Donovan, but if we choose wisely, we can led a happier, healthier life wealthier wife into leaving all her ducats in our name when she decides to kick the charlie bucket. Since we don’t advocate sugarmommying and/or murder, we want to help you choose quality TV shows that will not only waste your time, but you thyme AND your rosemary as well!

I’m sure about .000000001% of you subscribe to Showtime. And if you do fall under that minority then I’m sure yer already thoroughfarely enjoying The Tudors. If not, then you should be either beheaded or have a sixth finger sewn onto your left hand like the great Tyrone Rugen or Anne Boleyn, who’s totally been hottied up for our benefit (see above). C’mon yolks, is there anything besterer than Jonathan Rhys Meyers gaying it up as Henry the VIII? What if I told you that there’s plenty o’ boobs, butts AND that dude from Clear and Present Danger? I can already hear you dialin up yer cable co and adding on Showtime now! OK, so Showtime shows the wurstest movies of balls thyme, but they also got Weeds and Dexter, they boths busters my poin!

Lookin for something a lil less royal, but still with plenty o’ cheese (not to be confused with Plenty O’Toole)? Thought so you stoopid fargin icehole!!! That’s why the genius cockmuffins over at DIC invented the bestest Saturday morn thang since the Pac-Man cartoon: Dance Revolution. This show is aimed at gettin lazy arsed tweens off the couch and shakin their booty, but like Invisible Ink, this shiz is beyond suitable for anyone aged 12 to 112! Hosted by speed freak Brit DJ Rick (he looks like the bastard son of James Burke and Jarvis Cocker), DR pits dance duos against each other for phat scholarship monies. What, did I lose ya at tweens? What if I told you that the guest judges, including this d-bag, are more ghetto than the Ghetto Revival? Or that they teach you moves that are more right than if they were choreographed by Craig T Nelson? I still don’t gots ya? OK, this is the final bendy straw: The NY Times worthy Slumber Party Girls, SPG for short, provide all the hot tunes for the show. Never heard of them? That’s the club that I was in 2 months ago before I got hooked on their fun, refarted and darn right catchy Mccathyson ditties. There’s a lota payolacrapola on the radio, and if people love that shaz, there’s no reason why they shouldn’t heart the SPGers. I hate all that other Fergie crap, but I loves me that SPG album. Hell, you can get yer own used copy, and the shipping will cost more than the actual disc!

SPG’s ‘Make A Wish‘ [d]

boo-nus

‘Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme‘, sung by Bill Murray [d]