Thighs Wide Shut

Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood
Squeaky Foam
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 165 min

It took Quentin Tarantino 10 tries to figure out the perfect time, place and artifice to put on display all of his cinematic hopes, dreams, knowledge and references into one spectacular bundle.  His Manson Family drenched love poem to late 60s Los Angeles –  Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood – is the pinnacle of his career, and is 7/8ths great.  It’s that final 1/8th of the flick that throws all those fantastically creative juices running on all cylinders up until that point right down the toilet.  In a way, it’s a totally wasted opportunity 

No spoiler alerts here, but history is history.  Fact is fact.  You can stretch the truth, but you cannot just change history.  QT rewrites history how he sees fit, and in Hollywood‘s case, it’s un-fit for society.  The history he rewrites may be OK for those who know what actually happened.  But for those who don’t, it’s a disservice.  I declare Helter Skelter on the ending!  I’d also say see Helter Skelter, but you’d need a DVD player to see it (it’s not streaming)

This movie was well on its way to being his JFK, or his Zodiac.  This was going to be the best film to explore the Manson Family AND Sharon Tate, from both sides.  Instead, QT gotta do what QT gotta do, and QT always has to go over the top, when it was not even remotely required

Q, if you wand to play with your dolls in the valley however you see fit, why not just change all the names and make everything thickly veiled, like Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master?  Then you would be truly free to do whatever you want!  (without any backlash or dismissing by me!)

Hollywood works like one giant Simpsons episode written by Tarantino.  Throwbacks, nods, and winks ooze everywhere, and each one of the allusions caught is fun for those who can pick up on them.  But the fun will eventually turn grim.  You know and see where it’s all going, and you want it to actually go in the direction you believe it’s going in.  And when it doesn’t, I just wanted that ending to go away.  Truth trumps made up stuff

Verdictgo: 7/8ths is still great, so Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Hollywood is in the spotlight a theater near jews and white nationalists 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Toy Story 4
Bo-Weep
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
G | 100 min

I know it’s a movie, and they are cartoons, of toys, but Bo-Peep is so fine (and so is the woman behind the voice – Annie Potts).  Woody is so lucky (we are all so lucky these movies exist!  they are GIFTS!!!) 

Never have I wanted two Disney characters to kiss like I did with Bo and Woody.  Spoiler alert – they don’t in this movie.  BUT THEY DID IN #1!!!  WHY THEN BUT NOT NOW??? But it’s OK – the getting gets good enuff between our hero and newly elevated heroine in Toy Story 4!! 

But c’mon Disney – let them kiss – especially after all they’ve been thru!!! 

Even my foxy girl Marian gave our foxy boy Robin a little smooch in my beloved Robin Hood! (and there was talk of them having kids!!!)

Man, Disney has gotten so soft. 

Ye olde Daisy and Donald used to be so graphic with their affections! 

Hopefully Toy Story 5 goes in a new direction – hentai!

Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEF Worth A Peepers 

Toy Story 4 lyfe, at a theater near jews and white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Framing John DeLorean
Unsafe At Any Speed
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
Not Rated | 109 min

By the time Back To The Future cemented the DeLorean as one of the most important automobiles in cinematic history, its creator and his namesake car company were in ruins, both financially and personally.  How could that be so?  How did John Zachary DeLorean give birth to an icon on wheels, but fail so miserably by doing so?

DeLorean’s bucked conventional automotive industry wisdom to rise thru the ranks of General Motors, but proved to be too much of a bon vivant for the top brass’ liking, and so he tried something no one would ever think to do – create his own car company.  The DeLorean Motor Company was born to do the impossible, and ultimately it proved impossible.  Long story short – DeLorean became cash strapped, and in need of further funding, came across a cocaine deal that was too good to be true, which it turned out to be, which led to public spectacle and the rapid decline of everything he built up

His life is certainly ripe for a movie treatment.  And many have tried to get it up on the big screen for years, but as you may have figured – weren’t able to make that happen… UNTIL NOW!  But the double-meaning titled Framing John DeLorean isn’t no biopic.  And it aint no documentary either.  It’s somewhere in between.  Don Argott (his The Art of The Steal is one of my favorite docs of this past decade) and Sheena M. Joyce‘s film is a sorta Unsolved Mysteries, with re-enactments stitched together with interviews, archival photos and footage.  The hybrid concept is nifty (and worked better for American Animals), but on top of the re-enactments, we are ‘treated’ to a peek behind the curtain, as the re-enactors get into character and give us their opinions on the people their playing.  After awhile, I grew tired of these asides, and questioned their need to be included.  Sure, it’s always entertaining to see Alec Baldwin at work in thick eyebrows, here in the title role (and one DeLorean  himself actually wanted Baldwin to play!), but cut out about 20 minutes of this method acting prep, and the movie would have been much more slick and fine tuned, like DeLorean was when he was making muscle cars a thing back in his GM days

Still, DeLorean’s story is one well worth driving by, and how his hubris and failure affected his colleagues and loved ones, but some things are a little bit more exciting when experienced at 88mph, and not at a more leisurely pace

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers 

DeLorean hits the road and VOD Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Stockholm
Sympathy For The Devilish
Trailers & Mo
R | 92 min

Stockholm syndrome (where hostages end up sympathizing with their captors) – must have something to do with Stockholm, Sweden, eh?  YES!!!  And apparently I never thought to wiki-look that up (which makes no sense, considering how crazed I am for all things Patty Hearst), so was pleased to learn all about its origin in the loopy, fernetic, panicked and fun Robert Budreau film, aptly named… Stockholm!

So…. Stockholm, what happened there?  A guy (Ethan Hawke) robbed a bank, IN STOCKHOLM, in 1973!!  But he wanted more than money!  He wanted a mate (Mark Strong, with a solid wig for his bald dome) sprung from prison, and for both of them to escape to freedom.  As with a lot of robberies (both in real life and in reel life), not everything goes according to plan.  The guy has to take hostages (Noomi Rapace!! + 2 others) in order to get his demands met.  The police weren’t used to this kinda thing, cause these things didn’t really happen in the capital of Sweden, and so confusion and chaos and winging it on both sides ensure.  And as the situation lingers and lingers and lingers, the hostages… start to… sympathize… with their… captors!!!

BOOM!

Lesson learned, and in such entertaining (70s) fashion! 

Verdictgo: Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Stockholm takes stock currently in limited release 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Us
Mirror Madness
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
R | 114 min

Jordan Peele likes his zones twilighted, and his third acts a bit twisted.  I appreciate that.  I like his efforts, his ideas, his attempts.  Not sure I fully love the executions.  I mean, he’s got the spirit, but let’s all stop trying to anoint him as the next Rod Serling, Alfred Hitchcock, or whoever they want to call him the next version of after only two movies that were merely good, not mind blowing

With Get Out, it was nothing really fresh, especially if one had ever read or seen The Stepford Wives.  If you saw The Stepford Wives, you’d be like, OK, nice little movie Get Out is, but really, nothing ALL that crazy to see here people 

His new one Us felt original (I hadn’t seen The Twilight Zone episode that inspired Peele until after the fact), and was certainly a step above Get Out, but after a strong eerie first act, I started to grow distant from the film in its blood-splattered second act, and didn’t fully buy into its third, where reveals are further revealed.  BUT, great visuals JP!  Love those hands across America!  And the double duty the actors had to pull – they shirley pulled it off!  But pulling a rabbit out a hat?  Sure, nice lil trick there, but it wasn’t exactly a treat I could fully bite into

Still, Peele’s stuff is appealing, and I’ll keep coming back, even if I’m not fully on board with it… yet!

Although I’m totally onboard with this boat!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Us is you at a theater near… you!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…