Thighs Wide Shut

frynally, some hottie ar$ed pics of Sundance darling and longtime Cutie Pie Wide Shuter Carey Mulligan

[Starworks]

Raiders fans, the only thing scarier than Raiders owner Al Davis

Diora Baird is Topless in Maxim, But Not Topless Enough

Whitney Port, Betty Draper understudy

Kristen Schaal, waiting to be cast on Dancing With Cattle

don’t know how we missed this one: Girls Of Maxim In The Bath Calendar – 2007 [NSFW]

Hollyoaks Hottest Ever Honeys

what the valley forge did they do to our girl Carey Mulligan’s hair?

Michael Winslow/Larvelle Jones scenes from Police Academy 1-7

1996 McDonalds Hamburger

Dewey Readmore Books

and justin case you’ve missed it here or st else-wear: CakeFarts and Diesel SFW XXX [NSFW]

The Promotion
Supermarket Sweet
Trailers & Mo

Pitting Seann William Scott against John C. Reilly, as two assistant managers of a grocery store both desperately seeking a job promotion that will make them the manager of a new branch, sounds like a decent set-up for a flick where hilarity might indeed ensue. Such isn’t the case with The Promotion, screenwriter Steve Conrad(The Weather Man and The Pursuit of Happyness)’s directorial debut, where the chuckles are sparse and the tension is light, yet it still won us over with a subtle sensibility and a sirprizingly mannered performance from the guy best known for playing doofus extraordinaires, like Steven Stifler. Scott plays the straight man here, who appears to be a ‘shoo-in’ for the gig, until Reilly relocates from Canada and throws his hat into the mix. Scott steps up his game, but he really doesn’t have to as Reilly keeps shooting himself in the foot. At first he revels in Reilly’s mistakes, and then eventually begins to empathize with a man stuck in the similar situation of trying to make a better life for himself and his family (the wives are played by Jenna/Pam and Lili Taylor, who have little to do other than patting their men on the backs). Along with The Good Girl and One Hour Photo, The Promotion is a serviceable lil flick that fits in purrrfectly with the up and coming, yet non-existent, mini-genre of grocery store blues films. If you haven’t gone down those aisles yet, it may be time for you to check (them) out

Minor Leagues: The Promotion marks only the third role for bit actor Michael Kuster. Is other two roles? A Milwaukee Brewer in Mr 3000 and a Cleveland Indian in Major League

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

When Did You
Last See Your Father?
May 26th, But What Bidness Is It of Yours?
Trailers & Mo

Colin Firth’s father is on his death bed, so the lad decides to take a trip down memory lane, even if the past wasn’t exactly so memorable. Jim Boradbent plays the ailing daddy not so dearest (if he actually were his dad, he woulda been 11 when Colin was born), who definitely loved his son very much, but showed it in all the wrong ways (like embarrassing him in front a girl he’s trying to court at a summer resort, played by one of our mos flavorite cutie pie supremes, Carey Mulligan). By starting in the present and shuttling back and forth to the past, the story loses some of the sentimental steam it’s obviously trying to evoke, but it’s still far from blowing hot air. We juss think the patching up of their strained relationship woulda been more effective had the memoirs of Blake Morrison played out in chronological order. Like with The Promotion, Father is still a serviceable lil flick worth the peep… eggcept for on Father’s Day flubvs course

House Keep Her: you may recognize Elaine Cassidy, who plays the family housekeeper in Father, cause she was the mute housekeeper girl from The Others [vid]. She is a nice

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

both films open today in limited release

Rental Round-Up Dawg:

Teeth has one of the greatestistst premises for a horror movie: a teenage girl is exploring her sexuality, but how’s it all gonna turn out when her vagina has TEETH?!??!?!??! The trailer goes one step further by selling the idea to a T(eeth). Too bad the movie can’t fully deliver cause the script and the acting are down and up right atrocious (and so are the chomped off penis bits). Nunthelessss, it’s kinda watchable cause Jess Weixler (below) is super hotttttt and so is this dirty old man [vid], who shoulda been given a special Oscar for his slurping noises

Here we is again with another looney tunes mgcee premise: a socially refarted man starts to break out of his shell when he starts dating a sex doll he ordered online. We’re sure you’ve already heard about Lars And The Real Girl, but juss in case you hadn’t, we thought you should be aware of it cause you need to see it to believes its like Cheez-Its. Ryan Gosling plays Lars and you know he plays it well cause Gosling is mad crazy good at playing mad crazy nia peoples and he’s sporting a mustache and stuff!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

meet Shantel VanSanten, former Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search contestant, and future screen lesbian lover of Mischa Muskha Mushroom Eatin Barfon. The two will lock lips and hopefully munch on a different set of lips in what will shirley be the breastest mt EVEREST flick about two girls who fall in love at a faux lesbian Russian pop duo concert, all to be directed by the dude who gave us The Killing Fields. If that doesn’t scream Oscar, then I don’t know what wheelz

Cuthbest to do the thumpossible by beautifying New Jersey, when she makes an appearance at Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors, June 29-July 1 [Jews of the East wit Seoul]

Showtime does the toepossible by making Henry the VIII and Jonathan Rhys Meyers even gayer than before for their second season of da Tudors

Bill Clinton totally hearts Smashmouth

Bond film 22 to feature Billy Bob Thornton in a Peter Pan costume getting raw on the floor with Harold Crick

Brooklyn to become a zoo of yumcredible free concerts this summer, includin but not limited to Billy Ocean, Air Supply, MC Hammer AND Boyz II Men (what, no love for Sudden Impact?)

you didn’t ask for it, but yer still gonna get it: a brand new (or is it old?) Carey Mulligan snap

[Behind the Sofa]
Fred Armisen totally has Cronenberg Crash fantasies about Pam Beesly

LEGO finally gives love to Indiana Jones, although people made do without such a tang for years

Tony Kornheiser’s Porn-stache and a pre-Jurassic/Thighrassic Larry King recap the ’85 Redskins season

Development hell On Earth: 20 Movies Not Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

free screenings abound for Introducing the Dwights , which sadly has nothing to do with a certain member of the Schrute clan

when trash and shadows make art

whatta Pisa a$$

5 Random ’80s Toys

diving never looked so good bad

FluffyCD’s photos [b3ta]

and reason #69Turk182 to get a Wii: FIFA ’08, which will include foosball!! Some say bestest game within a game since Gradius popped up during the 2nd intermission of the NES 8-bit classic Blades of Steel [play actual game]

I edward james almost forgot how much fun driving is, and all the things you see

And how thumbpossible it is to try and pee in a cup while you do it

What a Paul ‘Bonehead’ Arthurs we is! Wees didn’t even think to use IMDB’s Joint Venture feature to see if recently peaced the forked outted Mr Knotts & Mr McGavin ever worked together and spanks to long time reader long time wife beater Menyinc, we put 6 and 9 together and we eat out our own ass while giving ourselves a BJ that would make BJ Armstrong jealous!! Not so foddly enuff, both matches were Disney jounks: No Deposit, No Return and Hot Lead and Cold Feet. And for the record, recently life no s’mored Dennis Weaver never shared billing with deez Knotts, but kicked it with D-Mc on ’92s Mastergate

Hopefully 10,000 B.C. will require CBell, my and our belle, to wear a prehistoric coconut bra. What do coconut bras have to do with pre-history? I dunno, but I’d be willing to suspend my disbelief whilst I stick my hand down my briefs

Today is a big day if you’re a Carey Mulligan Fanatic. OK, so I’s talkin only to myself, the world’s sole confirmed CMF, but both of these discs are worth picking up, Netflixing, or flizzflammering. Hispecially the one with Guppy. GUPPY!!!

Best Actor, Actress, & Picture cookies [via Witz.whorg]

Another one of dem dere Skeet on Mischa Willa Cobra Snake-A-Thons

tuesday monday morning test

Is Biscuit City to white people what Chocolate City is to black peoples?

The Star Wars Photoshopping Project

How Products Are Made

The WangCaster [via Dick Tripwire]

So is this what becomes of a former Her Royal Thighness?

[via UMC]
‘You Only Live Twice’ – Nancy Sinatra [d-lode]
‘Millennium’ – Robbie Williams [d-lode]