Thighs Wide Shut

Fran Gerard, Miss March 1967 [NSFW]

Chicago Blackhawks Ice Crew

Let’s Go Mets! (juss this once)

Never Let Me Go
Spare Parts
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

We could stare at Carey Mulligan and her imperfect perfect lil British face 4evers.  She’s more adorable than a child hugging a teddy bear in a field of sunflowers graced by 9 rainbows.  We never want to let her go!!  Amazing how only 5 years ago she was 2nd (or maybe even 5th) fiddle to Keira Knightley, playing one of her sisters in Pride & Prejudice (we were charmed by Mulli back then, well before any of yous was!!!!), and now the food chain is reversed with Carey as top dog, as seen in Mark Romanek‘s (director of the über-creepy über-awesome One Hour Photo) film version of Kazuo Ishiguro‘s novel Never Let Me Go

The trailer purty much gives away the goods, about young students being groomed at a posh school (headed by classy dean Charlotte Rampling) for something other than being model citizens when they’re adults.  SPOILLLSLSLLSERS ALERTS!!!  One rogue teacher (Sally Hawkins) spills the beans to her students that their actually being raised for vital organ donations, to end diseases and save lives!!!  But love gets in the way for students Mulligan, Knightley and the spastic Andrew Garfield (your next Peter Parker/Spider-Man), and they quickly realize that they don’t want to have their lives cut short.  You’d think they’d want to run away, but they don’t.  They simply stay in place and let whatever happens happen, and that’s the main problem with this beautiful, yet emotional devoid flick.  The characters are helpless, but don’t really help themselves, and in turn don’t really help the audience engage in their struggle.  It’s like Logan’s Run-ning on Empty, and with no cheesy sci-fi robots, like Box!!!

Our (Doppel)Gäng(ers): there be some mad casting geniuseses out there, especially when it comes to Carey Mulligan movies.  in An Education, they rightfully cast older look-a-like Cara Seymour as her mum, and in Never Let Me Go, found a gem in younger look-a-like Izzy Meikle-Small!!!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Never Let Me Go is currently stalled in NY & LA only and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

India Reynolds in March’s Loaded [NSFW]

+ Lucy Pinder ‘uncensored’? [NSFW]

+ Carey Mulligan’s da was delivered by Paul McCartney’s mum?

+ Prescott twins to never work together again?

+ Hitchcock’s unseen/unfinished Holocaust documentary

+ Grace Coddington, pre-Emperor Palpatine era

+ Cameron L Jackson?

Fish Tank
Hope Sinks
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

It’s not often that a movie comes along that wows the pants off of us, and Andrea Arnold‘s second feature, Fish Tank, not only did juss that, but has continued to do so, even mo so, days after our initial, and what will probably be multiple viewings of this brilliant brilliant film (guess we gotta see her first flick, Red Road, STAT). Arnold’s hand-held, freewheeling look at a raw nerved teen stuck in nowheresville England, looking for any kind of connection, is a pure revelation, and most of its success can be credited to the novice actress at the center of it all, Katie Jarvis

A star has instantly been born, kinda like with Carey Mulligan in the similarly themed An Education, cept Mulls is a trained actor and been rising thru the ranks for years. As for the untrained Jarvis, she was famously discovered by Tank‘s casting agent when she overheard yelling at her boyfriend on a train platform. The rest is not herstory, as it will be interesting to see where this diamond in the rough goes from here. Even if she doesn’t reach any higher than this (we’re hoping that that’s not the case), this would still be considered quite the one-hit wonder

Jarvis mind-blowingly plays the temper-a-mental Mia, a 15 year old struggling to fit in at home and in the gruff world outside of it. Her whorish mother (Kierston Wareing) and annoying sister (Rebecca Griffiths) are no help, but when a man (Michael Fassbender, a fass rising star in his own right) enters the picture and her mum’s vag, everything changes, and not necessarily for the better. He seems to be the only one to get a positive rise out of Mia, and the more he sticks around, the mo their own relationship deepens, pushing things toward a messy-ickyville territory, and then things go in a whole different direction and then it all ends with Mia graduating with her own ‘an education’. You knows we love Mulligan, but gotta say that Jarvis is more deserving of being the prized pupil and head of the class, even if that class is a lower one, one that’s like school on Saturday, no class at all

Tank Girl: JARVIS! JARVIS!!!! we hearts you like mad, even if yer teeths be crooked, and yous may not be as cutie pie mcgeed as Mulligan (here’s a pic of the two together!), but who cares cause Sean Connery totes wanted to touch yer fingers and he’s lord, and Marcus Brody once got lost in his own museum and then ZARDOZ!!

fo further reading, further read this int with KJ

Verdictgo: Breast In Show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tank is currently bubbling up in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Brothers
Nightmares From My Father
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Whatta year for the war movie, herspecially after so many years of awful waffle ones!!! First there was the we’re still hurtin from from watchin Hurt Locker, then da not so messy message filled GI Joe Messenger and now comes the comely and bothersome Jim Sheridan remake of the 2004 Danish flick Brødre (Brothers)!!!! Tis one’s about over here AND over there. Tobey Maguire goes off to war in Afghanistan, AGAIN!, leaving Queen of the Jews wifey Natalie Portman to tend the sheep (a terrrrrrrrriffic Bailee Madison + Taylor Geare). Porty also has to babysit Tobey’s fresh outta jail brother Jake Gyllenhaal, cause he’s more childish than Chucky at play. Then Maguire is pronounced dead and EVERYTHING CHANGES!!!! Nat has to pick up the pieces and Gyllenenhahhaal wises up and steps in to help her and the kids out, much to the chagrin of angry alchy pops Sam Shepard (not Sam Elliot). BUTTTTTT Spiderman is hactually ALIVE and mentally wounded and comes home and EVERYTHING CHANGES AGAIN!!!!!! what happens then is hush-hush from our mushmouth cause you will not want to miss this, and in particular, the last 20 or so heart pounding minutes, which might juss be the 20 or so bestest we’ve seen this year

Take A Mulligan: everyone’s IT girl (and ours first, you basterds!) Carey Mulligan pops up as a serviceman’s wifey. we loves Ports-man, but wonder how the movie woulda been had Mulls gottsen the op to play Tobey’s wife. or how about if long lost Mare Winningham, who plays the brothers’ step-mum, did?

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Brothers is up in arms at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

and in honor of awesome brothers, here’s a pic of me and mine…