Tag Archives: Arcimboldo


we way no longer Hungray, and totally Czeched out of Krtekland, and it was off to our final destination in our European holiday…


first thing first, Vienna is actually named Wien, as in hot dog Wieners

smëlls lïkë üp dög

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or as in Wienerschnitzel (the city is HOME to it, duh)

but not as in Tafelspitz or Mark Spitz


wonder if they have an AM radio station called 1010 Wiens.  anywho, Wien is in Austria, which shouldn’t be confused with Australia

Auf Wiedersehen Europe. until we Wiedërsehen again!!!

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and it never would, with such an awesome language in use like German!

wë hävë ärrivëd ïn Äüstria. Gööötën Mörgän Fäïrchïld #winning

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although ‘Gloria’ is a beautiful song in ANY language

GLÖRIA!!!!! #ZDFKultur

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but not sure what Chuck sauce is like in any language

Chück yöü

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but pizza in every language is ‘pizza’ (although we didn’t have pizza in Europe, cause why would we??)

I want this tattööed on meine ëÿës MEINEVER!!!

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cause when in Wien, do as the Wieners do – #Wienning

I'm shocked Herr Wöödy never made un film about Tafelspitz and giant wooden spoons

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and talk to random German and Swiss dudes

and kiss yer wife, cause you can’t stand how beautiful she is

and pick on someone not your own size

pïckïng üp gööd vïbrätïöns

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and be like The Third Man and ride that ye olde Ferris Wheel

this wiener riesëns mad rad yo!

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and know nose where to find one of your favorite painter’s work!  BLESS YOU GIUSEPPE ARCIMBOLDO!!!!!!!!

zumtimes I wish I had un pickle for ä schnauze too. bless yoü #Arcimboldo

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now Wien doesn’t have Eastern European charm like Hungary and Czech Repub do, but Austria never had to deal with all that standing in line for bread and sharing stuff.  it remained a cosmopolitan place, for centuries, and remains so

vienna street

where they have palatial palaces!!!


with selfie points – how modern!

selfie point

round we go!


too even more schmancy cafés!

hööráy 4 cáfës!

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and schmancy chocolatiers!


and to one of the most unique structures I’ve ever seen - KunstHausWien – a museum created by the artist himself - Friedensreich Hundertwasser!!!!!!!!!

Hundertwasser in dä haus, bringing dä fünk

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tiley smilerus!

kunst haus

even the bathrooms are funky fresh!

kunst bathroom

and he also designed other buildings that aren’t his own museumz!!!

 wasser 3

like the Hundertwasserhaus

wasser 2

it’s like a Smurf village for humans!!

wasser 1

but everything we did wasn’t juss fatrsy artsy culture stuff

of course we hit up grocery stores to see what was a brewin’

tiroler alm

although we actually did try this – Almdudler –  which is basically Austrian ginger ale – and once bitten, forever smitten


and apparently gefilte aint just for fishes.  it’s a thing, but I guess they go with the less Jewish ‘gefüllte’ which translates to ‘stuffed’.  but however it’s spelled, I’m g’scared of anything gefilted/gefüllted


then it was off to check out the famous Naschmarkt 

where there’s kraut by the barrel!!!


oh, you think we forgot to go to McDonalds, and McLook at their McMenü?


or miss seeing the Doc Brown Opera - 88 Meilen pro Stunde????

austrian doc brown

so long Austria, and Europe – never lose that old world Epcot charm, or the MUSTaches

horst lichter



if yer travels bring you to our nation’s capital this winter, do yerself a mad flavor and czech out the Arcimboldo eggzibit at the National Gallery, but maybe even morerer importantly, head on over to the American Art Museum (secretly one of the country’s bestest) to peep the off the meat rack AND chain AND meat beat manifesto work of Alexis Rockman!!  his last name sez it all: man who rocks!!!!

Disney World I, 2005, oil on wood

Pond’s Edge, 1987, oil & acrylic on canvas

Airport, 1997, Envirotex, digitized photo, vacuum-formed styrofoam with aluminum finish, plasticine, Laughing Gull specimen, and oil paint on wood

Mount Rushmore, 2005, oil on wood

Golf Course, 1997, Envirotex, digitized photo, trash, Astroturf, golf balls, golf club, soil, cast plastic human femur, and oil paint on wood

Sea World, 2001-04, oil & acrylic on wood panel

shiz rocks, man!!!!

& so does Arci
who was getting crazy with the cheez whiz in the 16th century!!!

click fruit man for mo amazinessness!!!


Money! Moni! Monet!

Thigh Mizzle’s
Top Hill-even
of Balls Thyme

& why
and my flavorite piece by em

1) Vincent van Gogh

Cause everytime I van gogh to his museum (6+ times and counting), I pay for the audio tour juss to hear some Dutch woman who sounds like Willard’s mum say these three simple words: ‘The Potato Eaters’. Bonus for being portrayed by Kirk Douglas AND Tim Roth

Which Piece?

The Sower, 1888
Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam

2) Edward Hopper

Cause his paintings make me feel more lonely than Roy Orbison’s ‘Only The Lonely’, and Todd Haynes and countless others totally jacked his stizz for many a beautiful flicks

Which Piece?

Soir Bleu, 1914
Whitney Museum of American Art, New York

3) Salvador Dali

Cause he collaborated with two of the 20th Century’s entertainment go-liaths, Disney & Hitchcock… although these dynamic duets didn’t turn out the way they should’ve

Which Piece?

Lincoln In Dalivision, 1977
Minami Art Museum, Tokyo

4) Georges Seurat

Cause Alan Ruck gets the POINTillism, even if he isn’t the true sausage king of Chicago!

Which Piece?

A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte, 1884-86
The Art Institute of Chicago

5) Giuseppe Arcimboldo

Cause he made it safe to play with your food, but not with yer balls

Which Piece?

The Vegetable Gardener, circa 1590
Museo Civico Ala Ponzone, Cremona, Italy

6) Caravaggio

Cause Tarsem hit gold with his C’vaggio laced vid for REM’s ‘Losing My Religion’ and hit the level of Judy Gold (read: BOO) with The Cell starring J-Ho

Which Piece?

The Incredulity of Saint Thomas, 1601-02
Neues Palais, Potsdam

7) René Magritte

Cause only he and a nakkid Rene Russo could turn The Thomas Crown Affair into a watchable non-Bond Pierce Brosnan feature! Plus, this is not a pipe, cause it’s a painting of a pipe!!!

Which Piece?

L’Empire des Lumieres, 1954
Peggy Guggenheim Collection, Venice

8) MC Escher

Cause the world’s first white rapper gets no respect on the East or the West coast, and I’ve NEVER seen one of his works hang in a proper museum, juss numerous college dorm walls

Which Piece?

Waterfall, 1961
National Gallery of Canada

9) Gustav Klimt

Cause his last name sounds like an Austrian word for vagina and he often shows vagina or BOOBS or BOTH in his work. And it’s not often I throw around the word ‘ornate’, but his shiz is as the hoodlums say, ‘nate, yo!

Which Piece?

Der Beethovenfries, 1901-02
Secession, Vienna

10) Edvard Munch

Cause he loves to munch on box and his bumblin’ countrymen apparently guard their national treasures with guns made out of balsam wood

Which Piece?

Anxiety, 1894
Munch-museet, Oslo

11) Hieronymus Bosch

Cause along with his partner Lomb, they cared more about eyes than Ree-Yees and V Eye Whoreshoutski combined! And I bet he was like the Puck of his day, and stuff

Which Piece?

Hell part of The Garden of Earthly Delight triptych, circa 1504
Museo del Prado, Madrid

Han-Solorable mentions: Leonardo da Vinci, Rembrandt van Rijn, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Thomas Hart Benton, Andy Warhol, Fernand Léger, Henri Rousseau, Grant Wood, Roy Lichtenstein, Keith Harring, Jan Vermeer, Paul Signac, Damien Hirst, BOB ROSS(!) and MANY MORE whom I forgots to include

1) Mark Rothko
2) Lucio Fontana
3) both 1 & 2

– DREAM CUM TRUE: TK Stack Money a go for MNF
– DESTINY CUM TRUE: Maryland offically becomes Garyland
– DRAZZLE CUMMING ON MY LEG: Everytime I look at Meg White and her ‘disco boobs’


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