Thighs Wide Shut

Closed Circuit
Boy Eh 
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 96 min

John Crowley directed Boy A, one of my most favorite movies about a boy and the first letter of the alphabet.  Two of my moist flavorite actors are Eric Bana and Ciarán Hinds, who co-starred in Munich, one of my moist favorite Jewish movies starring non-Jews.  Them three gots together, with Rebecca Hall, Jim Broadbent, Riz Ahmed, a dash of Julia Stiles and a bob of Anne-Marie Duff to make Closed Circuit – a desperately wanting to be riveting courtroom drama that isn’t nearly riveting enuff, doesn’t have much courtroom to roam, or any real drama from its start to its whatever finish.  WHAT A MOVIE!!!  Wish it was something more than juss not much of anything, but heck, we’d watch Bana and Hinds in ANYTHING – even if they were in a movie about the invention of microwaved tunafish sangwhiches!!

Verdictgo:  Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Circuit is open for bidness at a theater near jews 

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Nowhere Boy
Introducing… John Lennon
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

You know the story of the Beatles, and if you don’t then watch The Anthology, MULTIPLE TIMES [watch em here]!!!  But what about John Lennon’s story, before he was John ‘F&cking’ Lennon, the man, the myth, the legend we’ve all come to love, revere, worship and every other word that exists in a dictionary/thesaurus for ‘liking a sh%t-ton‘?  Yeah, what about John-boy, when he was a twee lad, a hero worshiper in his own time (Elvis, Buddy Holly), who did things normal teens did, like not care about school, and like totally care about bagging chicks?!  Yeah!  And what about his home life?!  What was the deal with him living and growing up with his auntie Mimi???  And having a loving, yet very strained relationship with his actual birth mother Julia????  Yeah, that Julia chick, who John later wrote a song for, with such telling lyrics as ‘Half of what I say is meaningless, But I say it just to reach you, Julia‘.  Yeah, what’s up wit dat??!?!!

Let’s take a dip in the Liverpool, shall we?  Yes, we will be passing by the gates of Strawberry Fields (it is foreals people!) on this magic mystery tour, but don’t expect this to be an all out Beatles origin story, cause it’s not, it’s a semi-Quarrymen origin story! But not really, although we do get to meet and jam with Paul McCartney (Thomas Sangster, that effin adorable tyke from Love Actually!!!!!) and George Harrison (Sam Bell).  If yer gonna ask where Ringo is, then you need to be Backbeated to death!!!  Nowhere Boy is purely a familial love triangle story between John (Kick-Ass‘ Kick-Ass Aaron Johnson, who kicks way more a$$ here than he did there), his uptight and well-meaning guardian Mimi (the always uptight Kristin Scott Thomas), and her flighty sister and his super-cool mum Julia (a heart-breakingly radiant Anne-Marie Duff).  Somewhere between all the hugs and shouting and secrets and lies is the sprouting of a musical prodigy waiting to turn into genius!  And since we know how history turned out for this Lennon guy, it’s a joy to watch the laughter AND the tears!  Big ups to Johnson, who is electric in Lennon’s shoes and sideburns.  Apparently the director was equally smitten with him as well.  Remember, this is the movie set where the now 43 year-old Sam Taylor-Wood fell for her now 20 year-old star Johnson!

How does the story end?  As history begins!  Ba-Hamburg!!!  But if you want the ending to the Lennon story, be sure to catch the killah and little seen The Killing of John Lennon

C’mon Ophelia Da Noise: can’t finger out which we heart more, Ophelia Lovibond‘s name or her EYES!!!???

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Nowhere goes somewhere, starting in LA/NY only tomorrow!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…