best awful faces in filmed things ever are…

this guy in Police Squad!

Bruce Jenner in Can’t Stop The Music

Step Up Revolution
The Revolution Will Be Danceivised
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 99 min

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE, THEY TOTALLY STEPPED IT UP, IN MIAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  They danced, cause they were The Mob, and The Mob are like dancers with a positive message and mission, cept they really should be locked up cause they often break laws, like the law of BEING AWESOME AT DANCING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s true

So what’s the story of Step Up 4 (in muss see 3-D)?  Does it really matter?  No.  The only thingsz that matter is that there’s awesome dancing and that our lead dancers are hot.  Well, MISSION ACCOMPLISCLICIOUS!!!!!!  (but for those who care about such things, the story is about finding a purpose for dancing, and that purporse is to save a neighborhood from Peter Gallagher‘s eyebrows!!!!!)

There was DANCING!!!!  OH BOY WAS THERE.  Dancing in the streets, on the beach, in a restaurant, at a board meeting, in a lobby, in a Cuban bar, at a swanky reception, in a dance studio, at a shipping dock, and in our hearts!!!!

And our two leads - Ryan Guzman and Kathryn McCormick – were hottttttttttttttttt AND wet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND THERE WAS A CAMEO BY MOOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! [SPOILER ALERT!!]

And if you hate dancing and hot people, well, you really need to examine what’s wrong with your life and tastes

Verdictgo: not really, but Breast In Show

Step Up ups the ante, not really, but sorta, at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

she bangs

we would her too

Natalie Wood photographed by Ralph Crane for Life Magazine, 1956

[via MizEnScen]

Searching For Sugar Man
Unearthing Forgotten Buried Treasure
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 86 min

‘Sugar Man’ is Sixto Diaz Rodriguez, a working class Detroiter who made 2 Dylanesqueseish albums in the early 70s that never gained any traction in the US, so he gave up on his musical aspirations and killed himself on stage.  Or did he?????????????????

Well, apparently the US’s loss was South Africa’s gain.  Rodriguez somehow had a following there, a BIIIIG one (his rebellious music spoke to white folk who hated apartheid), but Rodriguez had zero idea about it, and his South African fans knew so little about him, cause this was during a pre-internet time, which is hard to fathom, cause who would want to live in a time without the interwebs????  [we also can’t fathom a time where men had to wear suits ALL THE TIME, like in 100000 degree heat]

There were two South African men who refused to let the Rodriguez mystery remain a mystery – a record store owner & a journalist.  Together they unraveled the mystery, wrapped in a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a burrito wrapped in saran wrap at a wrap party sponsored by Rap Snacks, by finding what they were searching for, and in turn created an incredible fairy tale ending that was only just the beginning of more amazingnessnesssss to come!!

This documentary is not about who Rodriguez is, but the search for him.  This journey and its destination create quite an emotional roller coaster, which had us fighting back tears and welcoming smiles at each and every turn in the road.  It doesn’t hurt neither that Rodriguez’ music is simply INCREDIBLE, which basically makes Malik Bendjelloul‘s doc is the greatest untold music story about (maybe) the greatest unknown musician, away and far and far and away, hands AND thighs down.  That’s quite a claim, WE KNOW, considering there are probably zillions of untold tales about zillions of unknown musicians that are still, well, untold, but we stick by this claim cause we are actually the final authority on everything, and we know what’s good, for you and for we, and for us all

Soundtrack of Our His Lives: a man who released only 2 albums in his prime that most people never even heard of to begin with, doesn’t exactly need a greatest hits album, but that’s pretty much the void that the fantastic soundtrack serves.  so, see the doc, then discover the music OR ELSE!!!

Verdictgo: Breast Breast Breast Breast In Show

Sugar Man is found NY/LA today, and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed

Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry
Don’t Smash His Camera
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 91 min

Who is Ai Weiwei?  What is really going on in China?  Why is Twitter important?  Big questions!  And big answers are in store in Alison Klayman‘s all over the place, all awesome in all those over the place places, incredible doc Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry

So, really, who’s this Ai [eye] Weiwei [wayway] character?  He’s like the Chinese Damien Hirst (or Andy Warhol for those who don’t know who Damien Hirst is).  And why is he ‘never sorry’?  It’s actually a play on words, on the title of his Munich exhibition ‘So Sorry’, and he’s actually never sorry cause he does things that cause big brew-ha-has, in a good way.  He’s not just an artist, but an activist and champion of human rights, in his motherland that doesn’t let anyone be champions, humans, or right. He’s constantly asking for trouble, and he often gets it, cause Big Brother watches him, but he watches Big Brother, but someone needs to do this, cause if not him, then who?

Before seeing this, we knew next to nothing about Ai Weiwei.  After seeing this, we want to kiss the man, and stroke his beard, and see his art, and love it, and smile, cause he does, LOTS, in the face of misery and bureaucratic crap, and cause his smile is the best jolly fat Asian-man smile since Oddjob’s in Goldfinger.  it’s true, even if it sounds racist, but enjoying Asian smiles isn’t racist, is it?

Let Weiwei show you the wei.  The doc does the showing, and the telling.  It will show you a lot, and tell you even more, and has something for everyone (a cat that can open doors!), and everything for somebodies (call your mother, she worries!!).  It will make you glad you don’t live in China, but sad that China is the way that it is.  It will make you feel better about using Twitter, but make you feel bad that yer wasting your tweets on recaps of what yer eating and blabbing bout how amazing the Nationals are (#NatsBatsStats).  Weiwei is wei awesome, as a person, and a doc, so make your wei wei to a theater and learn, then help, and tweet, and smile, in the face of frowns

Finger Pointing Good:

Study of Perspective 1995-2003

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

go all the way with Weiwei in NY/SF/DC tomorrow, and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed