Thighs Wide Shut

click pic for NSFW boo-ness

(no) thank you dear olde fiend WTF? OGMZ!

wait, is that Zodiac killah suspect Arthur Leigh Allen?

Ep 4: Pandora [trailer] was far by the hottiest and heaviest hittin of dem skins of Season 3 of Skins. and how could it not be with a ladies only pajama party going down in honor of Pandora’s b-day (and broken heart), complete with MDMA-laced brownies and an unsuspecting mother Xing her face off to Bon Jovi’s ‘Living On A Prayer’? but for those watching it on BBC America, you don’t get to hear BJ’s anthem cause apparently they didn’t feel like forking over the additional cash necessary for music clearances on the US broadcast, and that, coupled with the editing out of language and other ‘racy’ bits (+ the impatience of waiting a whole week for another ep) has led us to watch them st elsewhere, where else we can hear all the choice music that’s intended to accompany all the choice scenes (you also won’t get to hear Lily Allen’s ‘The Fear’ during our first girl-on-girl action and the usage of Kanye’s ‘Love Lockdown’ during a jaw dropping scene (don’t click this link if you haven’t watched this ep, plus you’ll probably not find it all that jaw dropping if you haven’t watch this season)

but now for mo pressing matters of hand love splatters…

going forward, we will force ourselves to pick a weekly winner in the Fitch(/Prescott) Twins sweepstakes, based on which one boated our float the floatest!

Emily(/Megan) got rather saucy, PDAing like mad with Danny, being a party monster by supplying the ecstasy, and proving that maybe she isn’t such a megabitch after all by making peace with Naomi and promising not to ‘fluff up‘ her ‘flange‘

buttttttttttttt, Emily(/Kathryn) easily wins the week by growing a set of balls and kissing the girl like she was Katy Perry AND Jill Sobule times 1423487

duh

so JJ, whatta you think of this off the kosher meat rack ep?

let it be known that a moon bounce is always a wise spot for any cinematic or TV lusting. see additional Emily + lady kissing in this ep and Betty & Louis’ bouncing on the moon in Revenge of the Nerds for further poof

the only reason to be outdoors this summer involved boobs and no one had the foresight or the foreskin to tell us?

centralpark2(b)00(bs)9’s photostream [NSFW]

Topless Women March In Central Park For Right To Bare Breasts [SFW]

GoTopless.org [Safe If You Work At A Nudist Colony]

[bless you Tom Welling: Greatest Actor EV]

Inglourious Basterds
An American Nazi Party Worth Joining
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

After that semi-failed grindhouse experiment (his half being the most faileded of the two), that killer Bill and the 1 Bill that should have been killed, and whatever that borefest Jackie Brown was, Quentin Tarantino has finally handed in his first proper follow-up, in terms of equal bestness, to Pulp Fiction (a film we saw in theaters SEVEN times). His Inglourious Basterds, which should not be confused with the unwatchable The Inglorious Bastards, not only finds the writer/director on warm and rich creative ground once again, with his usual Tarantinoisms strewn about (cheek in tongue dialog, chapter headings and credits with wily graphics + familiar members of his acting troupe, although Sam L and Harvey K are heard and not seen), but there’s something rather mature at play in his immature revisionist look at how WWII could have ended. Sure, it’s one giant Jewish revenge fantasy, but this aint no make-up call for Señor Spielbergo’s Munich as some have made it out to be (Munich was such a mos eggggsalad flick, besides that part where they crosscut between offing Arabs and Bana banging his hot wife), as the killah (American) Jews here are simply window dressing to everything and everyone else in the film

Dats right, the Jews (including director Eli Roth and The Office‘s B.J. Novak, who’s almos as pointless here as he is at Dunder Mifflin), led by gentle gentile Brad Pitt, are storming across Europe, scalping every Nazi in their sights, but besides a handful of dirty dozen brutal beatdowns, they’re barely a part of the whole proceedings, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Like any Tarantino soiree, there’s a lot of character cooks in the kitchen, and each here are serving up their own plate of hotness, so there’s plenty to sink yer teeth into, whatever yer tastes may be. The rest of the good guys are really farkin good: a delirious caricature of a British lieutenant (Michael Fassbender, looking much happier here after starving to death in Hunger) + his cheerio superiors (Mike Myers! & Rod Taylor, in franztastic cameos), a vampy German double agent film star (Diane Kruger, playing quite well with the boys) and a lovely lone surviving French Jewish gal (eye/thigh opener Mélanie Laurent, basically in the Uma role) who runs the film’s central setting, a movie theater that will literally over-explode with action

And for once, spankfully, after endless emotionally draining Holocaust movies, we get a group of Nazis that are enjoyable… assholes! Hitler and Goebbelsszz are impossible to make fun, but all the other yesSS men are worthy of a heil. You go QT! Only you could make us write such things, when the only thing we hates more than Nazis be Duke Basketball and Julia Roberts!! For those who don’t keep up with current German cinema and their wonderful band of actors, Tarantino rightfully employed many of their talents and put them on GLORIOUS display, hispecially for those who would otherwise never experience these craftsmen at work. Dudes like August Diehl, Christian Berkel and our boy of boys Daniel Brühl (he totally rüles, and you should see him in Good Bye Lenin! or else!) relish their time on screen (although he shoulda tapped Bruno Ganz to play Hitler, again), but all the Nazi love, and love of the film in general should be directed directly at Christoph Waltz and his INNNNNNNcredible performance as Colonel Hans Landa. Landa is hands and thighs down the single greatestestest character Tarantino has mt EVERest dreamt up. He’s a little bit of everything, overly smart, overly smarmy, overly cunning, overly conniving, and while you’ll be plenty busy hatin his guts, you’ll also find yourself loving his guts at the same exact time! There’s never a dull moment in the longish Basterds, hispecially when Basterd #1 Landa is playing it at attention and at ease simultaneously. Lettuce hope this isn’t the last (we see of) Waltz, and the last bit of greatness from QT taz well, although we doubt we’ll have to worry about either

The Reservoir That Never Dries Up: QT is a man’s sorta man, but he rarely gives the proper love to the hotties (although seeing Winstead in that cheerleader outfit made everyone cheer!). Basterds is a whole new ball game with Kruger and Laurent holding their own, and one relatively unknown making us hold our crotches, Léa Seydoux

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Basterds will tear the roof off at a theater near jews (and hopefully not Nazis) this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Carey Mulligan wants to be Sean Connery, has had fewer manicures in her life than we have, and is ready to make you swoon

+ mo T-Mag photos

John Hughes died here

Lucy Pinder kicks balls [NSFW]

Damon Albarn’s lil sistah to design clothes for Oasis?

recommended for daily use: Imagery’s image search & Bing’s video search

white girls doing impressions of Bill Cosby

Periodic Table Sweater [b3ta]

Bitchenist Single-Parent Family Ever!

Margaret Nolan could quite possibly be the mos underrated, unknown, and hottiest Bond girl of balls thyme [NSFW]

she (briefly) played Dink in Goldfinger, and was featured in our mos flavorite Bond moment mt EVERest

+ You Always Fap Twice